#1 Stop Asking Non-Wedding Guests To Participate In Your Wedding Festivities!

I don’t know who needs to hear this but if I’m not invited to your wedding I don’t want to spend my afternoon at your bridal shower or my weekend on your bachelor/bachelorette trip celebrating your upcoming nuptials. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re asking for a gift if I’m not apart of your day I don’t want to be involved in that capacity. Why would someone want to be at an event where people are gushing about your wedding day knowing they’re not included?
If you have social friends who are not on the list they’ll do what any normal person does and congratulate you next time you’re together. Same goes for your coworker who you swear you need to include in some way because they’ll be hurt they’re not invited to your wedding. They won’t. They were engaging in conversations about your wedding to get through the workday and will offer you a simply congratulations in the breakroom or on their way past your cubicle when you return back to work.
If you have chosen a small intimate wedding understand what comes with that. There is no red carpet rolled out for you or parade to celebrate your big day because you wanted it that way. Stop being hurt no one planned a wedding shower for you or feeling like you have to create some dinner or celebration of you to make people feel special they’re not included. They accept your wedding day decision and will congratulate you however they see fit.
Anyways that’s my opinion on the matter as it’s very annoying seeing the topic in the wedding subreddits weekly.
If you've planned a wedding and not felt stressed out, you might just be a unicorn. When Zola surveyed thousands of couples who've tied the knot, 96% of them said that planning their wedding was stressful. 40% of those frazzled newlyweds rated it as “extremely stressful.”
One of the keys to staying semi-sane during the planning phase is to set your priorities and stick to them. "Prioritize what really matters and worry less about the other things," say Zola's experts. "You don’t need to let them fall completely to the wayside, but if flowers don’t excite you, stick to simple options and focus on something different."
Likewise, if great photographs are important to you, put more effort into finding the perfect photographer.
#2 The One Where My Cousin Almost Cancelled My Cake Order As A "Prank"

I pre-ordered my wedding cake from a local bakery a few months ago. About two weeks before the Big Day, the bakery called me up and let me know that someone tried to cancel my order.
I don't know if its the same for every bakery, but the one I went with requires that you have to have a "safe word" on file. That way if you cancel, the bakery can confirm it by matching the "safe word." No safe word, no cancellation. If that's not clear enough, let me know. But basically, they've had too many issues with disgruntled in-laws that they had to put that policy in place.
In my case, someone called the bakery to try and cancel my order on my behalf but didn't have the safe word. I made it clear that I never approved this and everything got resolved in one call.
Cut to my wedding day when my mom said that she was happy to see the cake I ordered after what happened.
That was when I found out my 20-something deadbeat of a cousin almost got my cake order cancelled by pretending to be me! My aunt, his mom, found out because she had noticed that a lot of calls on her phone bill were being made out to local florists, wedding dress stores and even bakeries. Apparently, it took a while but he fessed up.
That was when my cousin admitted that he called around to cancel anything I might have ordered as a prank.
So yeah, I almost didn't have a wedding cake because of the actions of my cousin.
Which by the way, jokes on you Ryan because I DIY-ed most of my wedding.
#3 Bride & Groom Trying To Cancel My Paid Resort Booking Out Of Spite – Can They Actually Do That?

I’m part of a destination wedding group booking through a travel agent. I paid for my full share of the resort reservation under my name, including flight and hotel, and was originally part of the bridal party. Due to personal conflicts and repeated emotional disrespect from the bride and groom, I chose to respectfully withdraw as a bridesmaid, no drama, no hostility. I made it clear that I was still attending the trip as a guest, separate from the wedding events.
The bride removed me as a bridesmaid after already losing six others. I was the second-last one. She then cut off all communication and told me I’d need to speak to her fiancé instead. He proceeded to threaten that unless I speak to her and resolve things on her terms, I would not be allowed to attend at all.
I accepted the situation with grace and wished them well. But now they’ve retaliated by saying that since I’m “not attending the wedding,” they’ve canceled my entire reservation, even though I paid in full, the room is in my name, and I’m sharing it with another bridesmaid. The booking is under their group contract with the resort, but I have the invoice and confirmation under my name. They even told me “do not attempt to show up,” which feels like intimidation more than anything else.
The resort says they can see the group, but not individual bookings, and that it’s all managed through the travel agent. I’ve emailed the agent (it’s the weekend) and I’m hoping she can confirm my spot. The trip is less than two weeks away, and I’m just trying to enjoy the vacation I paid for, separate from the wedding drama.
My family and friends are livid, and yes, I will take legal action if this isn’t resolved. But for now, I just want clarity. Has anyone gone through something like this before? Any advice on how to protect myself or what steps to take next?
Thank you 🙏🏽 I’m not looking for more conflict, just peace 🌸
SoroWake:
Sue them. You paid. Get your money back. If your travel agent confirms you are in that booking, go on the trip and have a blast Updateme
Once you've decided on a vendor you're happy with, for example, a photographer, book them immediately. There's no need to complicate things by looking at more options. "Drawing out a process can evoke more anxiety and stress," warns Zola.
Priorities are also important when it comes to your budget. Put your money towards the things that matter the most and lower your budget for those that are less important. "If you want a videographer, but aren’t so concerned with desserts, take some of that wedding cake budget and hire an awesome video team," suggests the site.
#4 My Dad’s New Wife Had An Adult Temper Tantrum The Whole Day!

However, I decided to put that all behind me and invite her to my wedding anyways (knowing sadly that my dad would likely not come to my wedding if she wasn’t invited). I did however only ask that he come to the rehearsal, as it would only be about 20 people and I didn’t want any drama happening the night before the wedding. My dad agreed with the plan months ago, but then a week before called and said he wouldn’t be there if she wasn’t invited. I stood my ground and said I’d see them on the wedding day. That seemed to have set her off…
she arrived in a bright red, sparkly mini dress. Multiple guests were overhead asking “who the adult dancer in the dress was”.
cried before the ceremony started and refused to stand as my mom and dad walked me down the aisle.
sulked and disappeared for family photos…even though I was inviting her to be in them.
loudly said that she “didn’t want to eat any of the horrible food” that was being served for dinner. This comment actually got my grandma who never says a mean thing about anyone to tell her that “if she can’t be respectful then she needs to leave”.
got into a fight with my dad and threw her drink.
kept disappearing to drink in her car, then reappearing just to sulk and cry in the corner.
Luckily, none of these events impacted my night at all, I had the best day ever! Still trying to decide if/how to confront my dad about how concerning this behaviour was…
#5 Moh Got Drunk And Confessed To Be In Love With My Fiancé, Gets Angry Because She's Uninvited

Here's what happened: We announced our engagement to my family and friends two months ago, but I had a family party to celebrate with some close friends and family members (the MOH and the bridesmaids, as well as some cousins, aunts, my mom, etc). The girls made lots of delicious cocktails, we played some games, and everyone was having fun until MOH started getting dizzy on her +5 Jello shot. And miss ma'am starts getting wild. Can't stop laughing. No one knows what she's laughing at but we all laugh anyway.
All of a sudden she goes off about how lucky I am, how she never thought her gamer, alternative, "weird" friend would get married and how my fiancé is probably out of my league so it's "100% luck, you hit jackpot." She starts praising the man, we're all like "uuuuh," trying to get her some water so she can sit down and shut up.
Cousin starts getting really angry, calls her out for saying those things, so they start screaming at each other. I'm trying to call her a cab so she can leave before my family stones her. My mom finally asks her to stop. She says something like, "Jackie, you don't want people to get the wrong idea. I don't think you're meaning to say what you're saying right now." But Jackie just. won't. shut up. And she says, "Well, if I've been there...the story would have been different." (My fiancé and I met on the last year of college, she went to college overseas for 4 years, which is why they've only met once for like 30 minutes).
And that's when I exploded and told her she wasn't coming to the wedding anymore. Not if she's going to say all those things to me, in my own house.
I know she was drunk, but I just can't forget what she said. Some of the bridesmaids feel really bad for her and are asking me to let her be part of the wedding party. I'm not sure if I'm wrong or not. She hasn't talked to me since that night, but we've been friends for many years, so I feel like maybe I could talk to her about it? It's just weird. I was thinking of letting her come to the wedding as a guest, but the ANGER with which she says those words won't leave me alone. Thoughts?
#6 My Cousin’s Wedding Had A Surprise Guest, A Goat In A Tux

Everything was going smoothly until it was time for the ring bearer to walk down the aisle. Everyone turned expectantly, phones ready, and instead of a child in a little suit, out came Gregory.
Gregory is a goat. A real, living goat. In a tuxedo.
Apparently, the couple thought it would be adorable to have their pet goat carry the rings. And it might’ve worked if Gregory was in the mood to cooperate. He wasn’t.
Rather than walk down the aisle, Gregory decided to do his own thing. He wandered off course, dragged the poor flower girl behind him, and made a beeline for the guest book table. He tried to eat it. The actual guest book.
My aunt screamed. The groom was cracking up. The officiant barely blinked, a total professional. Meanwhile, the rest of us sat there frozen between confusion and laughter.
Eventually, the best man lured Gregory away with a breadstick from the appetizer table (which was honestly the most heroic thing I saw all day). The rings were intact, the ceremony continued, and all was well, except Gregory managed to sneak into nearly every photo, just standing there like he was part of the bridal party.
It was chaotic, hilarious, and honestly kind of perfect in its own weird way. I don’t know if it was the goat or the love in the air, but that wedding? Unforgettable.
The financial pressure of planning a wedding can spill over into your relationship and expose deeper values of each partner, notes online therapy site ReachLink. For example, one person may want to splurge on the venue, while the other believes the money should go toward a house down payment.
"Neither position is wrong, but the disagreement can feel like a referendum on what each person actually values," say ReachLink's therapists. "That kind of tension, repeated across catering, photography, and guest lists, wears couples down in ways that have nothing to do with the wedding day itself."
They add that for many people, the stress of planning a wedding can produce real, clinically recognizable symptoms of depression and anxiety that affect mood, sleep, physical health, and relationships.
#7 My Husband's Ex Was The Drama At Our Wedding

My husband has a child with his ex, so sees her quite often for things related to my step kid. We were always planning on inviting her to the wedding to see their kid all dressed up and to generally keep a good coparenting relationship. Before we had invited her, she informed DH that she'd be there, and asked when and where it was. He was a little taken aback but as we were planning on inviting her anyway he just told her.
On the day, she showed up to our morning ceremony wearing the shortest dress I've ever seen, over stockings and suspenders (the suspenders could be seen for a good 6 inches before the bottom of the dress), skyscraper heels, nightclub makeup, and costume jewelry. My father actually pulled me aside to ask "who hired an adult dancer?!".
I found out afterwards from mutual friends that she had texted all of them asking when they were getting there - because she had invited herself we hadn't thought to let her know it was such a small ceremony - and when they let her know it was family only and the reception was completely separate she began to panic a little.
And I had the best petty revenge. I asked everyone to be EXTRA nice to her. Every time she tried to sneak away someone would engage her in conversation. She was extremely uncomfortable, and ended up sitting down with her coat covering her. The wedding went off without a hitch.
I'm not sure what she expected to happen, but it all worked out fine in the end 🤷🏻♀️
#8 Weddings Are Getting Out Of Hand

Weddings are getting soooo out of hand nowadays. I’ve been a bridesmaid in a few weddings and will be in another one in the new year and it is genuinely becoming a financial burden! The bride chose a bachelorette party that is out of state and requires me to buy plane tickets, use my PTO, and spend a lot of money on airbnb/other random activities. The MOH asked us all to pitch in $200 each for the BRIDAL SHOWER! Like be so real, this is not my wedding nor did the planning of the shower include me, and I was also not aware that this would be expected of me when I agreed to be a bridesmaid.
Between the shower, bachelorette, dress, and hotel for the wedding, I’m spending WAYYYY more than I did on my own marriage! Why are we normalizing this behavior? I am so happy to celebrate my friend’s special day, but it’s getting out of hand. I don’t think it’s fair to ask bridesmaids to go on a whole vacation to celebrate an event that (I’m sorry) is a mostly normal life experience. What happened to just getting together a few days before the wedding to celebrate? In the same state that the wedding is going to be in?
This has also been my experience in literally every wedding I’ve been in, not just this one in particular.
Maybe I’m just bitter and should not have agreed to be a bridesmaid, but it’s very difficult and awkward to just say no and I do love my friend and want to be there! It’s just almost too much. Am I overreacting or does everyone secretly feel this way?
#9 The Make Up Artist Took My Deposit And Went On Vacation The Day Of My Wedding

They also warn that weddings have a way of stirring up family dynamics or conflicts that have been lying dormant for years.
"Divorced parents who haven’t been in the same room in a decade suddenly need to be seated near each other. Cultural or religious expectations from one side of the family clash with the couple’s own vision. In-laws offer 'suggestions' that feel more like mandates," they explain.
The mental health experts say that often, the conflicts have nothing to do with the wedding. But rather, at their root are issues about belonging, control, and old wounds that never fully healed.
#10 This Was By Far The Worst Mother Of The Groom Moment I’ve Ever Seen At A Wedding

It was the worst, most awkward wedding moment I’ve ever witnessed.
When the song came on, I didn’t think it could get worse but it did. The mother of the groom ended up staring into the groom’s eyes throughout the whole song either on the verge of crying or actually crying.
I’m pretty sure all the guests wanted to fade into the bushes, Homer Simpson meme style 😂
#11 No Kids Means No Kids

The children (little girls in gowns and little boys in suits) disrupted the reception by acting like bored children in restaurants: chasing each other around the room, snacking from the buffet before it was opened, trying to get at the wedding cake before it was cut, and pushing into the bouquet and garter toss. I’m certain that they would have gotten into the alcohol, but the bartender was an off-duty cop friend who had a professional hard stare, and they steered clear. Where were the parents? Hanging out with other adults and pointedly ignoring the misbehavior.
That marriage wound up not lasting.
When I married the love of my life, we were a lot firmer in the invitation, and had our wedding committee spread the word: no kids no exceptions. We didn’t even have a ring beater or flower girl; the rings were presented in a separate part of the ceremony put together between the officiant, the best man, and the MOH. We still had an excellent turnout and huge fun!
Folks, take note: If the invitations says “No Children”, don’t assume that it doesn’t apply to you and your cute little woogums.
Celebrants and wedding planners, take note: If they say “No kids”, then be firm about it. Be rude if you have to.
UPDATE EDIT None of the couples or single that brought kids asked for an exception. No one who had kids was offended at the caveat. They all just ignored it. And there only refusals were got were from people who had either no kids or their sons and daughters were grown, and they showed up.
The ceremony itself was limited to 20 souls. Some had small children and they all left them home. The trouble started at the reception, with ten times that number of souls. It’s amazing the havoc that only eight or so kids can wreak!
Oh, and I’m a man. Don’t let the dreadlocks fool you! No harm no foul.
#12 Is It Weird That My Mil Didn’t Post A Single Picture Of Me From Our Wedding?

Then I see my mother-in-law made a post with the caption “Blessed,” which is cute… until I scrolled through the photos. It’s my husband with his dad, his brother, some cousins, her and his sister, her and a friend, the friend and the sister… but not a single photo of me.
Like—who did he marry?
I know for a fact she has pictures of me and my husband together, the photographer shared some earlier. So I’m just kind of sitting here wondering—am I missing something? Is this a thing? Or is it okay that I’m a little thrown off by this?
You may want to consider paying a wedding planner to help you, especially if your family is the source of your stress. These experts have been there, done that, and they know how to manage difficult (and even entitled) people.
And remember, it doesn't hurt to take a step back from wedding planning if things become too much. It might feel like everything will fall apart, but chances are, they'll be just fine. According to Zola's team, taking time out is a necessary step in the wedding planning process.
"Practicing self-care is so important at any stage in life, but especially leading up to your big day," they say.
#13 Bride Puts Wrong Names On Invitations, Asks For Cash Only

Second the invite specified "wrong name & kid". Now I have three kids so I'm not sure which kid I'm supposed to bring! Are the other two meant to stay home with my husband? She obviously doesn't know the names of my children either or how many I have. Again, she could have easily asked for this information.
Third, the invitation had a note saying the bride only wanted cash. She did not include any kind of registry. Some of my relatives, like our grandma and aunts, really enjoy picking out a gift to give. So they are insulted at the request for cash only. She also did NOT specify the cash was for something like a honeymoon or house down payment.
So the invites managed to make most of the family mad for one reason or another. I'd already decided I wasn't going to the shower or the wedding, as I said we're not close. But I was thinking of at least sending a card with money, along with my congratulations. Now I'm not sending anything and I'm okay with that.
#14 Bridesmaid’s Boyfriend Breaks Up With Her At Wedding

#15 Wife Of Best Man Is A Clingy Nightmare

At first she thought she was going to be part of my bridal party, not because we are friends, but because she wants to match with her husband. I made it clear that was not happening. My bridal party will consist of close friends and family that are traveling from far away. I rarely get to see them so naturally I want this to be special. But she is trying to insert herself into everything. From the bachelorette to the wedding rehearsal dinner she insists on being involved.
My fiancé has spoken to his friend about her many times. When it’s just them two, his friend listens and agrees to the points he makes. But if she’s there his friend becomes spineless and agrees to everything his wife says. She is making me miserable. This is a vent post but also I need advice for how to deal with her without making my entire wedding about her.
#16 Mil Late To Wedding And Now It’s Become A Joke

Then she arrives, 30 minutes past due. Gets applauded by the guests as we can now start. The wedding party assemble faster than the Avengers and the rest of the evening goes without hitch.
Now when MIL is running late to a family function, we now joke, how late? Wedding late?
#17 Mil Keeps Making Threats About Wearing White To Our Wedding

#18 My Partner’s Ex Is Causing So Much Drama

My boyfriend (M, 39) and I (F, 26) have been dating for 5 years. He has a 7 year old daughter. My friend is getting married in Italy this June, and we’re invited. It’s a child-free wedding. I’ve been saving up and counting down the days for this trip.
But last night, he told me his ex suddenly changed her mind and won’t switch custody weeks with him, meaning he’ll have his daughter during the wedding. I asked why, and he said she just changed her mind. Then she suggested that we pay for her and their daughter’s tickets and accommodations so she can come along and watch their daughter while we enjoy the wedding. I was upset. That makes no sense. Just switch the weeks and it’s all good. I don’t want his ex to go on a vacation with us.
My boyfriend’s solution? Skip the wedding. I told him no. First, the RSVP date has already passed. Second, I really want to go to this wedding and visit Italy. So, I’m going.
He says it makes him uncomfortable if I go alone because it looks bad for me to show up solo. I told him if it bothers him that much, then maybe he should figure something out with his ex so he can come too. He says he’s tried everything, but she won’t budge, and he doesn’t want to feel like he’s abandoning his kid.
I’m frustrated. What should I do at this point?
Update : He just ended with me. He got very angry when I told him I’m going. He said I’m an immature selfish little jerk who doesn’t care about him or his daughter. He broke up with me. I’m so upset and have a bad headache . I have been crying since then . I’ll reply more later
#19 My Sister’s Flirty Comments To My Fiancé Are Getting Out Of Hand And It’s Ruining The Joy Of Wedding Planning

She’s always had a bold personality, but ever since we got engaged, something feels... off. The way she talks to my fiancé makes me uncomfortable compliments that go a little too far, late-night texts that don’t need to happen, and these “jokes” that are clearly not just jokes. Recently at a family dinner, she laughed and said, “If you ever mess this up, I’ll be first in line.” Everyone chuckled except me and him.
I’ve tried brushing it off, assuming she’s just being playful. But deep down, it’s starting to feel like toxic sibling behavior and it’s making wedding planning way harder than it should be.
I love her, and I don’t want this to turn into something ugly but I also don’t want to keep ignoring something that’s making me feel hurt and disrespected. I’d really appreciate some honest advice from anyone who’s dealt with jealousy during engagement, inappropriate family dynamics, or anything that felt like a betrayal wrapped in a smile. How do you move forward without burning bridges or yourself?
#20 Weddings Are Getting Out Of Hand
But of course, once she came, she had to stir things up. First, she was upset that no one showered her with flower petals when welcoming the guests. Then she got mad that she wasn’t given a seat at the first table, which made her sulk.
Later, she complained that she wasn’t served food in a "VIP" manner. Then came the issue that she wasn’t invited to sit with the bride for pictures. After that, she was angry because she wasn’t allowed to ride in the car with the bride.
Even after the wedding ended, her complaints didn’t. The drama just kept going.


