This woman has invited others to share the most creative ways they've managed to ensure their lives don't revolve around men
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To find out more about this topic, we got in touch with Denise Williams, the woman who started this thread on TikTok. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share what inspired her post.
"I just recently had a breakup with someone I loved deeply," Denise revealed. "As with any breakup, we were on and off for a while, and I started dating other men. I never put off my life and responsibilities, but I noticed that the majority of my thoughts were centered around men. I thought, 'Are men thinking, talking and dreaming about women like we are about them?' Sadly to report, I don’t think they are."
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We also asked Denise about the ways she's managed to decenter men from her own life.
"The main way that has helped is meditating," she shared. "All my 'men-centering' was in my thoughts, so really just switching the light switch off when I started thinking about men and what I can do, what I can say would help. I switch my thoughts to start dreaming about my future, my career, watching my son grow up. I’ve always been a romantic, so it’s been very hard to stay out of LaLa Land, but I’m making progress."
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Denise also shared some wise words for any other women out there who could use some help decentering men.
"Women, myself included, are just full of love, and that love needs somewhere to go," she told Bored Panda. "And at our maternal core, we are so incredibly nurturing that we pour that love into others, our children mainly, but we do it to men also."
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"As a caring woman, it feels almost selfish to not give all our love away to someone because, essentially, we want to get it back," Denise continued. "But all that love and your thoughts and kindness needs to go to yourself first."
"It would be such a privilege to be loved and cared for beautifully by a man, but the reality is you have to put yourself and your future first," she added. "Because any man, woman or human has the capability to destroy your spirit if you let them."
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We also asked Denise what she thought of the reactions to her post.
"The replies are absolutely sending me! I have been living in my comment section laughing," she says. "The ones that had me rolling were women saying they never move for a man on a sidewalk, they will body check them before they will step aside. Just thinking of that makes me crack up."
"The other one was 'when a man puts himself down, I don’t argue or offer a compliment,'" she continued. "This one hit so hard because if a man is putting himself down to a woman that he is trying to impress, something is wrong. That man is not in a good place, and he’s not someone you should be entertaining for dating."
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Finally, Denise wanted to clarify that she harbors no ill will towards men.
"I received a lot of comments that I’m a man hater, and I’m not at all. I love men and what they add to the dynamic of life and relationships," she shared. "The whole point of decentering men is to not become bitter and write men off completely. It is to learn how to take the focus off of men and hold out for a man that will add so much value to your life that you have no choice but to make space in your life for him."
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