63 Unethical Life Pro Tips That Work Too Well To Write Them Off

Keep hydrated at work. You'll need to take a lot of bathroom breaks. This will make up for all the breaks smokers get. Might as well double up and start smoking.

Looking to save money? Tell companies you were just laid off. Tired of paying so much for TV, internet, etc., and struggling to negotiate over the phone? You could always threaten to cancel your subscription, but lately I've found telling the person on the phone, 'Hey, I love your service, but I was just laid off last week and can't afford it anymore. Is there anything you can do to help me out?' It's non-combative and wins them over to your side; layoffs are rampant, so it's believable, and if it doesn't work, you can always threaten to cancel and get sent to reclamations.

Koalas have a 20% chance of being infected with Chlamydia with many more carrying the disease. If you are harboring koala refugees from the Australian bushfires, and you cheated on your spouse and got chlamydia, use this as an excuse.

Dispose of small, heavy items for free at the airport. Travel buddy and I disposed of 30KG worth of broken dumbbells (plates for dumbbells) by taking them in our carry-on suitcases and letting airport security dispose of them for free instead of checking the dumbbells. (It would’ve cost a lot of money to dispose of them in Hong Kong, and I can't really sell the exercise equipment here as my friend's dad can't figure out Marketplace, and my friend moved to another country.)

Don't boycott, buy stuff and return it later. Big-box retailers generally lose money on returns, even if it's just the labor to inspect them and put them back in stock. Buying some stuff and then returning it near the end of the return period can also create more stock in the store than room on the shelf, as they weren't planning to have that inventory back. There are exceptions, though; for example, some retailers have arrangements with manufacturers so that products on their shelves are still owned by the manufacturer (like with expensive tools at the orange box store). Just don't be dumb, a lot of stores could refuse a return if they suspect this is what you are doing.

My mother thought she'd be doing me a favor by submitting my phone number to some random health insurance quote site. I literally started getting calls within 10 seconds, and they didn't stop for weeks. At its worst, I counted 78 calls in 48 hours. I DID figure out how to make them stop, though! I started submitting the numbers they were calling from to the same health insurance quote site that my number was submitted to, like some sort of hellish telecommunications loop. Within a few days, the calls stopped for the most part.

Look up your buildings washer/dryer model on eBay and order a key for it. I haven’t paid for laundry in years and it cost me $8.00! Sleep like a baby knowing you’re not paying for on-site laundry.

Do you and your partner want to visit historic buildings/museums but can't afford the entrance fee? Pretend you're engaged and are considering the location as your wedding venue. You'll get in for free and be given a tour.

How to get Halloween decorations for deep discounts: My kid is obsessed with those huge animatronics from Home Depot. They cost $300–$400 each, but at the end of Halloween, they go on sale for 75% off. The problem is that as these sales happen, the items go out of stock, or employees buy them up. This year, what I did was buy the items at full price right as October started. This ensured the items were still in stock. I selected PICKUP, which ships the items to the store, and delivery times go out one to two weeks later. When the items arrived, I kept delaying pickup. In the app, it gives you a week to get the items, but you can push it back.

Eventually, the items went on sale, but of course, they were 'sold out.' I called Home Depot customer service, and they said they don't price-match items that are sold out, surprise, surprise. When I went to pick up the items, I eventually just went to customer service and said I’d like to have these price-adjusted. If they say no, then you say you want to return the items and rebuy them immediately. I walked out with $800 of animatronics for $200.

To get a 'new customer discount' over and over, add a . to your Gmail address.

Gmail doesn't recognize periods in email addresses, so abc123@gmail.com is the same as a.b.c.1.2.3@gmail.com. You can use this to repeatedly redeem new customer discounts without the bother of opening a new email account.

When you keep getting called by telemarketers... "Call back to the number...after around 10–15 calls, they will block YOU. I'll sell them natural gas, extended car warranty, whatever.

If you ever rob a bank, make sure to hold your middle finger in front of you the whole time so the news has to blur your face in the security footage.

Want to save money at Kohl's? Purchase four or five low-value items on Amazon, then return each item through Kohl’s on consecutive days to stack the $5 Kohl's cash they give you to get up to a $30 discount on an item.

Return a TV or laptop online and buy it back as 'open box' for a steep discount. This really only works well if you buy a model that has no open box models, since that will affect your chances of getting your old item back. Done right, this can easily save you at least $200, depending on the TV or laptop.

If you come across a dating profile begging for money, send them a request for the same amount instead of a gift. Many times they're too careless to read and will automatically accept it because they assume another desperate guy is sending cash.

If your company doesn't pay you for sick leaves/ doesn't permit you to take sick leave, show up at work with a flu/pox and *accidentally* infect everybody. They will eventually change policies

If you're ever in traffic and nobody is letting you merge — cut the Tesla off. They'll have to let you in.

If you are in a crowded nightclub and trying to find your way out, start to run and pretend you are about to vomit.

Keep an old parking fine ticket with you so if you need to park illegally, you can put the ticket under your windscreen wiper so the parking inspectors will think you’ve already been marked!" Note: This may not work, and you could still end up with a ticket, but it's still worth a try if you HAVE to park during street cleaning or something.

if you accidentally scratch someone’s car, write a note in shaky handwriting saying you are 5 years old and fell off your bike. Then leave $5 saying it’s all you had