#3 Girl, Stop With The Victim Mentality And Take The Responsibility For What You Did!
The impact of trauma, particularly PTSD, has been linked with toxic behavior. The National Center for PTSD describes these as “stress reactions” that may go away over time.
According to Amanda, these behaviors are typically a product of a person’s reaction to feeling emotionally unsafe in relationships. This applies to many trauma survivors, who may or may not meet the criteria for a PTSD diagnosis.
As an example, Amanda used parental abuse, where a person may not feel safe engaging in relationships as an adult. Their subconscious reactions would be to drive the person away and ultimately sabotage the relationship.
“You might initiate conflicts, avoid expressing emotional vulnerability, tolerate abuse, or end relationships prematurely, to name a few,” she told Bored Panda.
As for female toxic behavior, Amanda attributes it to patriarchal societies like the United States. As she explained, their actions may be a way to keep themselves safe in a relationship.
“For example, a heterosexual woman who experienced intimate partner violence may unknowingly engage in actions that sabotage her relationships with men, or she may cater to men to keep them happy to promote her safety,” she stated, adding that patriarchal societies equally inflict the same harm upon men.
#10 2nd Date, I Picked Her Up, She Said She Was Uncomfortable, I Took Her Back To Her Friends, 1-2 Hours Passed…then She Texts Me All This In Span Of 1 Hour
Most experts would recommend professional help for trauma survivors. However, not all methods would be effective. For Amanda, talk therapy may not be the solution because, as she explained, it’s not developed to access the regions of the brain “where trauma lives and thrives.”
“Instead, I recommend bottom-up therapies that address these impacted areas, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, Animal-Assisted Therapy, and Attachment Therapy.”
Amie also recommends group therapy, as hearing other people’s experiences helps break through isolation. However, it all boils down to finding a trustworthy therapist.
“Someone who offers both compassion for what they've been through and gentle accountability for changing harmful patterns,” she stated.
However, a toxic individual likely won’t agree to professional help if they don’t recognize the problem. As Amie points out, knowing the root of the problem and having the genuine desire to change can absolutely break the toxic cycles and build better relationships.
#16 Just Remembered This Old Screenshot (For Context Gray Is My Ex Girlfriend We Hadn’t Dated For 3-4 Months And Then This Happened
#17 Blocked Her Right After The This And She Still Trying To Contact Me To This Day
Trauma survivors and people who grew up in an unhealthy environment aren’t necessarily bound to repeat the toxic cycle. Prevention is always better than cure, and Amie advises seeking out people in healthy relationships and noticing what emotional maturity looks like.
“The goal is to learn how to deal with emotions rather than bottling them up,” she explained. “It takes work, but people can build better relationship skills than they grew up seeing.”
