“I Pavloved My Husband”: 30 Chaotic Marriage Hacks That Actually Work

We have a decision coin with our names that we flip when both of us “don’t care” on whatever we can’t come to a joint decision on (ie: food). The name it lands on must make the choice. The coin is law.

Before long car rides we have a pep talk to remind ourselves we are not enemies- the children are our enemies.

I tell my husband to stop being my husband for a minute and be my best friend. Then I tell my best friend what my husband has been doing to PMO and he plays along as my best friend talking s**t about my “husband”. Corrects his own behaviour.

I have a wife & I check every makeup or skin care she uses regularly & buy them when they’re about to be empty. I wonder if she’s realized why she’s never run out

We have scheduled arguments. Every 2 weeks. “Biweekly beef.” We bring up any and all complaints. Everything from serious stuff to “I did not appreciate how u farted last week.” It’s very effective.

Every time I find our kitchen cabinets wide open I have to yell “BE GONE DEMON” while I close them to let my husband know he left them open again, it’s been 4 days since the last exorcism.

I say “babe guess where I’m taking you for dinner!” And she’ll say “sushi?!” Or whatever she wants and I say damn how’d you know?? Saves all of the indecision.

When I’ve asked him to do a project more than twice I get out all the wrong power tools and act like I’m going to start doing it. Works every time.

Rather than get mad at the other for not doing that thing you expect for them to just know to do (dishes for ex.) we place a stuffed elephant by the thing to point out "the elephant in the room".

When we were adjusting to our first baby & were sleep deprived we made a deal not take anything mean said from 8pm - 8 am to heart, our keyword was “that wasn’t me that was patricia” from Split.

When I want him to do something I start with “how do you feel about helping me with…” and it usually works bc he doesn’t feel like I’m demanding or ordering him. Btw I’m a marriage therapist.

We sometimes text for our hard discussions. That way we can fully think out our responses. And it makes you read over your angry reactions so you can reword them in a more productive way.

When I’m mean he makes me get back in the bed, roll across it, and get out because i “must have woken up on the wrong side”.

When he stops pulling his weight in house chores I stop doing all his things.. laundry, meals, dishes. I’m a mom but not his mom. He catches on quickly.

When we are planning to make a big purchase I 1st show him the most expensive thing & Let him marinate. Then show him the one I really want which is cheaper but not the cheapest. 😬 Works every time.

He "puts me to bed" so he can go game without feeling guilty. and I get tucked in and the fan turned on and the lights off. then I scroll on my phone. we both get alone time

When he asks me to find something he “can’t find” (it was in plain sight he just doesn’t look enough) I charge him a book. I now have 4 shelves of books and he thinks I have magic finding powers (eyes).

We say “Scale of 1-10” when we want to check where the other person is mentally/emotionally throughout the day - and based on that adjust how we treat each other.

My husband and i refer to our innermost illogical thoughts as "lizard brain", so we can share insecurities/jealousy without judgment. i.e. "lizard brain says you hate my haircut"

I Pavloved my husband by wearing the same scent only during intimacy for a year. Then I wore it to a family function, and he became feral. He glares at me when I wear it because he knows. Still works.