Motherhood is not easy, and few people would probably be foolish enough to think otherwise. But while that’s no secret, some things regarding surviving parenthood—like hacks, tips and tricks—are often kept behind closed doors.
Some women on the internet recently opened the doors wide open. After a discussion was started on Threads, they shared some of their most unhinged hacks and the most feral things they do to survive motherhood. (It’s safe to assume that for some moms, that must have felt like a breath of fresh air.) So if you’re curious to learn what their tricks are, scroll down to find their comments on the list below, but keep in mind that moms have to deal with the most demanding bosses of all time on a daily basis, so cut them some slack.
#1
Nigerian mothers had this thing they called 'Arodan' that was done back when children were raised by the community and things were safer. Mom sends her kid to another neighbour mom and tells her kid to ask for Arodan. Kid doesn't know what it means but said neighbour knows it means 'im tired and I need some time off' and neighbour knows to keep child waiting, like 'wait and I'll prepare it, or go to so and SO's mom, for it'. child is on a wild goose chase that doesn't end until he's tired
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55points
#2
We live in Japan and close to Ishikawa so we felt the Jan 1 2024 earthquake very strongly and the dozens of aftershocks after. To keep my son (and me) from being scared, I told him when the ground shakes, it’s Totoro jumping for joy.
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54points
#3
When my kids can’t sleep at night I tell them they can stay up as long as they help do chores. They’re usually willing to do something without fighting. They put clean laundry away, dust, clean grout (toothbrush, cup of water and baking soda), wipe cupboards, mop, tidy..they do a couple of things, then I put send them back to bed
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53points
#4
When they're having a toddler tantrum, I would howl, which makes the dog howl, and then the kids howl. By the time it quiets down, they forget why they were upset.
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52points
#5
I created a “family reset hour” every Saturday. I told everyone: no screens, no chores, no talking to mom unless it’s an emergency. It’s for everyone’s mental health.
Reality? The kids read or play, my 13-year-old chills, and I lock myself in the bedroom with headphones, a snack stash, and an audiobook. No guilt, no pretending just boundaries disguised as self care for them. But really? It’s for me.
Reality? The kids read or play, my 13-year-old chills, and I lock myself in the bedroom with headphones, a snack stash, and an audiobook. No guilt, no pretending just boundaries disguised as self care for them. But really? It’s for me.
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49points
#6
It's not that crazy, but taking pictures of stuff they want at the store "so that I can send them to santa" really works. They might pose with 20 different toys before we leave, but we get out without tantrums
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48points
#7
Just calling off work for the day and not telling anyone else in the household. Just letting them think I went to work and came back. When really I was eating breakfast at a diner alone, shopping, drinking tea at a tea house, taking nice long drives, listening to podcasts, etc.
48points
#8
This was 3 months postpartum but I straight up got a hotel room. I was cracking under the pressure and I told my hubs that I just need ONE night of full sleep, good sleep, and some room service. It did me a world of good.
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45points
#9
I made our GoogleHome (like Alexa) the bad guy on schedules & chores. We all agreed at family meeting that X things/chores needed to happen every week, & scheduled them out in the app. Google calls the kids out by name & what they need to be handling & I’m no longer the recipient of their whining or things just not getting done cause I don’t have the bandwidth for pushback.
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45points
#10
I told my adolescent daughter that everything will feel better if you sit on the couch and eat some cheesecake while wearing a tiara and a prom dress. We had very few meltdowns and we still do it.
44points
#11
Divorce their father who did nothing to help me.
44points
#12
When my daughter was 3 months old I formed a punk band. That way I had to leave the house at least twice a week for practice, and I sure as heck couldn’t take the baby with me. Hubs had to do his share, and I got to scream my guts out.
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43points
#13
When my kids aren’t listening and I feel like I’m going to start yelling, I sing instructions at them in an opera voice instead.
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41points
#14
When I’m by myself and trying to get out of the house and the baby is begging to be held I throw cheerios onto the floor and let her crawl around to get them like a chicken
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41points
#15
Order my groceries online for pick up but not tell hubby, then tell him I'm off to do the groceries, so that buys me 2 hours to do whatever I want and just pick up the already done groceries on the way home.
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40points
#16
When I can tell my kids aren't listening, I shift the conversation to alien abduction until they notice. Sometimes I talk about alien abduction to myself for a solid 5 minutes, but the creativity of trying to keep the same cadence of giving them directions while talking about something completely ridiculous has given my own brain moments of levity and fun when I'm otherwise exasperated.
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39points
#17
Joined a gym that had a daycare with a cheap hourly rate. The nicest staff of young girls who loved kids. Just to sit and drink coffee and read. Never worked out.
39points
#18
One time I was in a museum with my daughter when she was maybe 4. I was super into it but she wasn't. So to keep her occupied I told her to count all the naked butts she could see in each room. This game ended up keeping her entertained through the great museums of the world and taught her math
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39points
#19
I don’t want gifts for holidays focused on me. I want a hotel night alone in a room. That’s it. Been going strong 4 years now. Eff them flowers and chocolates. Keep your hallmark. King size me and send me room service.
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39points
#20
When the floor is covered in toys I tell my toddler I’m thinking of one toy in my head and she has to pick up all her toys and put them away and when she picks up the one I’m thinking of she wins a prize. It’s always the last toy
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39points