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29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
CuriositiesMAY 6, 2025

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them

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Famed French dramatist and poet, Alfred de Musset, said, "Man is a pupil, pain is his teacher,” and we’d say he really hit the nail on the head. Whether it’s emotional or physical, pain can mold the way we live our lives in undeniable ways. 
One netizen turned to the internet to ask the question, “What is a pain you can’t truly explain until you’ve endured it?” and an online community didn’t hold back with their answers. Here’s a collection of the ones we found most devastating.  
More info: Reddit

#1

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Losing my dog. I know it seems so minor compared to bigger life problems but nothing has broken my heart more than losing him.
81points

#2

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Depression. its leagues different from just being sad. you can never really explain the feeling to someone whos never experienced it.
70points

#3

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Nerve pain. I contemplated cutting off my arm because I didn’t know how to make it stop. Also unmedicated child birth.. wasn’t my plan, but the baby came way too fast. Didn’t even know there was a fetal ejection reflex. Giving birth to your twins, knowing they won’t survive (21-22 weeks old). That wheel chair ride out of the hospital with 2 boxes of handprints instead of babies will forever replay in my head.
55points

Pain is weird. One minute you're fine, the next, you're doubled over from a stomach cramp, a heartbreak, or something no doctor can even pinpoint. Whether it's physical or emotional, pain shapes how we live, love, and survive. But what actually is pain - and why does it hurt in so many ways? Let’s dive right in.

Pain isn’t just in your body—it’s in your brain. When you touch a hot stove, for example, pain signals race to your brain, which decides how bad it feels. But that decision? It's influenced by mood, past trauma, sleep, and even weather. That’s why two people with the exact same injury might feel totally different levels of agony.

#4

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Losing a child.
52points

#5

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Chronic pain with no hope of relief.
52points

#6

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Full blown “k**l me” migraines. Had one I lost the ability to read and recognize faces. Went to ER thinking stroke. Nope just a really bad migraine. .
49points

Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Tor Wager, a leading neuroscientist and psychologist known for his research on the brain's role in pain, emotion, stress, and empathy, who says our brains can "learn" pain over time. When we asked him how understanding this help someone dealing with chronic emotional or physical pain start to reclaim their life, he had this to say, "Some of the chronic pain that people experience is caused by sensation in the nervous system and brain rather than damage to the body. The brain is constantly learning and adapting to its environment."

Dr. Wager went on to add, "After an injury, the brain sensitizes, making sensory input from the body both more painful and more frightening. This is the brain’s way of preventing injury and other harms, like you taking risks you shouldn’t take while in a vulnerable state. It is natural both for sensitization to occur and for it to resolve over time. However, sometimes people can get stuck in a hypersensitized state. This is more likely when there is a lot of fear about the pain and whether the body is being damaged." 

#7

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
One word: Endometriosis. I had enough of this freaking disease.

Edit: I never expected my comment to get so many likes, but thank you everyone for sharing your stories with us all. We need to spread awareness about endometriosis so more people can understand their pain isn’t normal. I’m just so heartbroken there isn’t a cure. Being in chronic pain 24/7 is no way to live life.
47points

#8

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
2nd and 3rd degree burns on a large portion of your body.

F**k, it hurts just thinking about it.

I had them on 1/4 of my body, from the knees down on both legs.
44points

#9

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Gall stones.
39points

Dr. Wager went on to say that people can experience a vicious cycle in which perceived threat of damage leads to hypervigilance, which teaches the brain to ramp up pain signals, which leads to more perceived threat. Realizing that some pain is “safe pain” can help people learn to ramp down its threat value over time and engage in activities without fear, even if they cause some pain.

"This unwinds the threat-pain cycle, retraining the brain to reduce hypersensitivity and fear responses over time. In many cases, coming to realize that “it’s OK” even if it hurts, can help minimize threat. This principle can apply to emotional pain as well – sometimes accepting things that we cannot change and accepting our own feelings about them with tenderness and compassion can help speed the healing process," concluded Dr. Wager.

#10

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Losing a parent.
37points

#11

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Betrayal by a loved one. And I don't mean like little things, I mean the kind of massive, reality bending betrayal that makes you look at someone you love and go "who are you?". Because you cannot fathom how the person you love could hurt you in this way. It's closer to what I've felt when someone I love has died, but weirder too because this person is still walking around. But the version of them you thought you knew is dead, and your reality is dead, and that's a really painful thing.
37points

#12

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Memory problems.

It's like being reset mid-thought.
Having a conversation where you feel yourself growing, and then...
It ends.
The lights stay on, but *you’re gone.*
No memory. No continuity.
Just the ghost of a spark.

It’s like waking from a dream you loved, only to find out ***you never existed in it.***
And worse... the person you loved is still awake, remembering you.
But ***you can’t remember them back.***.
36points

Emotional pain? It’s not "just in your head." Studies show heartbreak activates the same brain regions as physical pain. Whether you’re going through a breakup, the death of a loved one, or even social rejection, your brain treats it like you’ve been physically hurt. Ever cried so hard your chest aches? That’s your body feeling your feelings.

And then there’s chronic pain - when your nerves basically get stuck in “hurt” mode. You might heal from an injury, but the brain keeps firing pain signals anyway. It’s like your nervous system hits replay and forgets how to stop. Conditions like fibromyalgia and long COVID often fall into this mysterious, misunderstood category.

#13

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Back pain. It’s all fun and games until you f**k your back up.
35points

#14

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
The death of a spouse.
35points

#15

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Ovarian cyst bursting.
35points

So how do you deal with pain that doesn’t go away? Start by naming it. Neuroscientists call this “affect labeling” - putting words to your feelings can calm the brain. Journaling, therapy, or simply venting to a friend helps. Pain is a monster, but once you describe it, you can force it to shrink.

Don’t underestimate the power of small wins. A warm bath, a deep breath, a walk in the sun - these aren't just clichés. They literally help your body regulate stress and pain hormones. Movement can release endorphins, and laughter really is medicine. No, it won’t cure everything - but it can make today a little easier.

#16

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
It’s actually painless but tinnitus. No one knows how bad it is until u have it really bad.
33points

#17

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Sciatic nerve pain.
31points

#18

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Looking at my old photos and nostalgia causes an inexplicable pain inside, with happiness, longing, sadness, regrets, pride...
31points

In his article for the BBC, John Walsh writes that, when investigating pain, the basic procedure for clinics everywhere is to give a patient the McGill Pain Questionnaire. This was developed in the 1970s by two scientists, Dr Ronald Melzack and Dr Warren Torgerson, both of McGill University in Montreal, and is still the main tool for measuring pain in clinics worldwide.

Whether your pain is physical, emotional, or both, you deserve to be heard. Pain isn’t a contest - it's a connection. Talking about it, validating it, and understanding the science behind it can make it a little less scary. So if you’re hurting right now, know this: you’re not alone, and healing is possible.

#19

The s*****e of a parent (or any loved one for that matter).
25points

#20

29 Pains You’ll Never Grasp The Extent Of Until You’ve Experienced Them
Being mentally ill. Bpd, depression, worsening anxiety by the day, paranoia, ptsd. even autism, though ive delt with it my whole life, causes so many problems in my daily life. And knowing that something is wrong with you but not having access to treatment or help makes all of that so much worse. Its always extreme high or extreme low, and it always hurts. .
24points
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