“It Is Nasty, Stop”: Women Share 50 Things Men Do That Are Total Turn-Offs

If you pull your smoothest move, thinking it’s going to help you score. But all you get is a sigh of disgust. The problem might lie with you, my friend. Blaine Anderson is a dating coach and founder of "Dating By Blaine". Anderson recently did a survey of more than 2,000 American women to find out what they considered "creepy." Here’s what she discovered...

The number one creepiest thing you can do to a woman is stare at them. More than half of the respondents told Anderson they’d experienced intense, creepy staring in the past 12 months. To be fair, some men might not even realize they’re doing something wrong. For them, Anderson has this advice: commit to what she calls the ‘two look max’ rule. Basically, it’s normal to look at someone that crosses your path. And it’s normal to sometimes give them a second glance. But that’s exactly it. A glance. Which means a look that lasts less than five seconds. And don’t do it more than twice.

Anderson agreed to speak to Bored Panda and give some advice to the men who think they're cool when they are in fact, ice cold. We began by asking her what things men do that they might think are attractive but really aren't.

“Many guys incorrectly assume that talking about money — particularly boasting about how much money they make — attracts women, when it's actually a huge turn-off to anyone but extreme gold diggers,” Anderson told Bored Panda. “Talking about money is a turn-off because the underlying psychology is approval-seeking. If a woman senses you're trying to wow her with your finances, all it actually tells her is that you're not on her level.”

Anderson is now happily married. But admits she had her fair share of “braggy” men during her dating days. “I've had multiple guys try to tell me how much they make on first dates. Super cringe. A guy once invited me on an expensive Europe trip on a first date,” she said.

The dating coach added that men should pay close attention to the cues they get from women. “If you're meeting a woman for the first time, the key signs she's not attracted to you all have to do with how much attention she pays you. If she's not making an effort to engage with you in conversation, and especially if she's turning away from you or physically moving away from you, it's a sign she's not attracted to you.”

"The way you turn the situation around is by moving on. You probably can't change a woman's mind about you — at least in the short term — but you can always find someone else you're attracted to who will give you a shot!"

“The key mistake I see men make in dating is wishful thinking. Many guys, especially less experienced guys, will misinterpret friendliness for romantic interest,” she revealed. “So, the key red flag men need to look out for is unavailability. It doesn't matter how much a woman texts you, or how flirty she is when she texts. If she won't meet up with you in-person for dates, you're wasting your time.”

“Focus less on dating, and focus more on upleveling yourself. Once you get your life into a place where you're proud of yourself — because you're proud of your career, and you have real friends, and you're taking care of your health and fitness — dating tends to take care of itself,” advised Anderson. "Carve out a couple hours a week to spend time in places where women you like spend time, and start conversations! You don't have to ask anyone out, just be friendly, and you'll be surprised at how much you'll learn, and how much progress you'll make."

Anderson also suggests turning eye contact into conversation. If can’t you can’t stop staring, start speaking. Go over and introduce yourself. She says staring can be creepy because the starer's intentions are unknown. And adds that by introducing yourself in a friendly way, you can avoid problems, and make new connections. Here are some pick-up lines for when you need inspiration. And here are some some savage comebacks you might encounter if your flirting falls flat.

She had the following advice for women, "If a man is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, I'd recommend calling it out (assuming it's safe!) then moving on. So, for example, if a guy is sending you messages that feel creepy, it's OK to say something like, 'Hey, I'm sure you don't mean to make me feel this way, but I feel uncomfortable with this conversation. Please don't contact me again,' and then hit the block button."

On the subject of messages... You think you’re being sexy sliding into someone’s DMs? There’s a good chance you aren’t. The second creepiest thing women reported in Anderson's survey was unwanted messaging from strangers on social media. 43% of all women and 48% of single women said they’d experienced creepy, unsolicited contact. Anderson says men should avoid doing this unless the woman has given them permission.

But, as you might have read, some love stories have actually begun in the DMs. Anderson says if you’re going to try it, make sure you have mutual friends, that her profile is easily discoverable and she’s using her real name (don’t be a stalker), and that you’ve met her in person and have a valid reason to follow up. No random small talk.

Steer clear of commenting on a woman’s body or her outfit, advises Anderson. The third most disturbing thing women reported was receiving a creepy comment disguised as a “compliment”. As Modusoperandi40 noted in the Reddit thread: “Giving sexual compliments or compliments about certain body parts when they first meet you. Thanks, but sir…you are still a stranger, that’s just making me uncomfortable. Can we get to know each other first?”

Mistyam got over 5,000 upvotes for their reply: “Send unsolicited d*ck pics.” And redditors jumped in with what their perfect response to receiving one of “those”. “Just reply with ‘Aw, he is so small and cute!’ wrote SoThrowawayy0. While werewere-kokako quipped, “What are we supposed to say? ‘You have the conversational skills of a brick but, wow, your unwashed, slightly crooked penis has won me over. The banana for scale is an inspired touch. Take me; I’m yours.’" Bored Panda has this advice: Just don’t do it. If you do, you might just end up having this happen to you. You have been warned.

Researchers surveyed 7,000 people between the ages of 18 and 65, to find out what men and women find attractive. They found that on a scale of 0-100, “On average, females rate age, education, intelligence, income, trust, and emotional connection around 9 to 14 points higher than males.” Most guys prioritized attractiveness and physical build when seeking out a mate.

"The key challenge most single women face dating is differentiating between guys who just want to hook up, versus guys who are serious partners," said Anderson. "Assuming you're looking for a long-term partner, then, the red flags you want to look for as a woman have to do with lack of effort and commitment. For example, if a guy only texts you after 9pm to 'hang out', that's an obvious and major red flag. Another red flag is if he's too pushy for physicality on your first or second date — it sends the message that's all he's interested in, and doesn't expect to be around for it later."