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30 Houses In Melbourne That Appeared On This Architecture-Shaming Instagram Account
FunnyOCT 13, 2021

30 Houses In Melbourne That Appeared On This Architecture-Shaming Instagram Account

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Not everything in Australia is "upside down". Sure, their Christmas is in the summer and they might have a BBQ to celebrate it, but in some ways, they're just like us Northern Hemisphere folks. Our fascination with bad architecture, for example, is equally obsessive.
Turns out, the Irish, Belgians, and Dutch aren't the only ones shaming their native buildings on Instagram. There's an account called Ugly Melbourne Houses doing precisely the same on the other end of the world.
Taste is universal. I know. But ironically, it's what allows this online project to make fun of the houses it wants to. Here are some of them!
More info: Instagram

#1 Every Time I Try To Build A Custom Sims House

Every Time I Try To Build A Custom Sims House
223points

#2 Amy's Winehouse

Amy's Winehouse
213points

Nicholas Reece, deputy lord mayor of Melbourne, thinks the city is actually Australia's most interesting settlement for architecture and design.

"Beginning with the good bones provided by the Hoddle Grid, Melbourne has added some amazing buildings over the decades," Reece wrote. "The city has also produced some brilliant home-grown local architects and has a distinctive design culture, without the overreliance on international 'starchitects' like Sydney."

#3 Perfectly Pitched For A Neighbourhood Near You

Perfectly Pitched For A Neighbourhood Near You
197points

#4 They Forgot The Plaster Lions

They Forgot The Plaster Lions
173points

#5 When A Friend Doesn't Invite You To Their House And You're Really Quite Relieved About It Actually

When A Friend Doesn't Invite You To Their House And You're Really Quite Relieved About It Actually
171points

However, the deputy lord mayor thinks that Melbourne may have lost its touch in recent years. "[We have] too many towers that are nothing more than spreadsheets in the sky, delivering a profit for developers but leaving the city poorer because of bad design and low-quality materials."

"Too many buildings that are low-grade and bland when newly complete and destined to deteriorate into eyesores over time," Reece continued. "Tall towers that set out to be seen from afar but offer nothing to the pedestrians walking the streets of the city. Featureless glass boxes that could be in any city in the world, rather than a city with the character, style, and sophistication of Melbourne."

#6 How's Everyone's Week Been? Chaotic? Jumbled? Overly Complicated? Yep. Me Too

How's Everyone's Week Been? Chaotic? Jumbled? Overly Complicated? Yep. Me Too
159points

#7 Proudness Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I'm Feeling After Receiving This Piece Of Moderne Arte Collage In My Inbox

Proudness Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I'm Feeling After Receiving This Piece Of Moderne Arte Collage In My Inbox
158points

#8 Hang On. Wait... What?! Your Therapist And Your Massive Inflatable Santa Supplier Are The Same Person?!

Hang On. Wait... What?! Your Therapist And Your Massive Inflatable Santa Supplier Are The Same Person?!
154points

He said the city started noticing its flaws and began drawing a line, saying it must do better. "BHP House on William Street and ICI House in East Melbourne are both over 50 years old. Yet they both still look elegant and modern. They are great examples of how good design holds up and continues to shine over time."

"Melbourne has long been famous for its beautiful shop fronts, especially along Collins and Bourke streets. We need to extend that experience to other quarters of the city," Reece explained.

#9 If Large Cars = Small-Membered Owners, What On Earth Does This Symbolise?

If Large Cars = Small-Membered Owners, What On Earth Does This Symbolise?
149points

#10 Picasso's Lovechild

Picasso's Lovechild
148points

#11 Barbie's Dream House

Barbie's Dream House
135points

#12 Those Aren't Balconies, They’re Actually Hay Feeders For Giraffes

Those Aren't Balconies, They’re Actually Hay Feeders For Giraffes
133points

He believes that good design is even more critical now if Melbourne is to retain its reputation as a highly attractive and liveable city as it emerges from the COVID-19 pandemic. Reece is also happy that the challenges the city faces aren't too big to solve. At least not yet.

"Melbourne's planning processes are quicker and involve far less red tape compared to other big cities. This is an advantage we need to preserve. But we also need to acknowledge that we need to lift the general standard," he said. I wonder if he follows Ugly Melbourne Houses. Or the person running it...

#13 Colonel Pistachio’s Tudor Turrets Raise Up My Peppermint Helicopter Roller Disco Roundabout

Colonel Pistachio’s Tudor Turrets Raise Up My Peppermint Helicopter Roller Disco Roundabout
130points

#14 Caravan Of Courage

Caravan Of Courage
127points

#15 Animal Print Is A Neutral

Animal Print Is A Neutral
120points

#16 Life Is Just About Trying To Do The Very Best You Can Do With The Size Of Window That You Have

Life Is Just About Trying To Do The Very Best You Can Do With The Size Of Window That You Have
120points

#17 It Looks Like A Shower

It Looks Like A Shower
113points

#18 Cheeky Brick Butt Cheeks Wrapped In An Oh-So-Saucy Garter Belt Portico

Cheeky Brick Butt Cheeks Wrapped In An Oh-So-Saucy Garter Belt Portico
109points

#19 Mary Poppins’ Lsd Dreamland Winky Wonky Summertime Lovin’ Peculiar Palazzo-A-Palooza

Mary Poppins’ Lsd Dreamland Winky Wonky Summertime Lovin’ Peculiar Palazzo-A-Palooza
105points

#20 That’s A Serious Sixpack

That’s A Serious Sixpack
104points
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