30 Normalized Things In Movies And TV That Rarely Happen In Real Life, If At All

Ultra, ultra white teeth. I’m talking new toilet bowl porcelain white.

On Breaking Bad Jesse smoked meth and cigarettes regularly, but somehow miraculously was able to maintain a dazzling white smile.

Women waking up and the hair is perfect, the face looking perfect and glowing even if they’ve been up all night. Yeah, right. Even young women will look rough in the morning

Girl gets injured — maybe knocked unconscious. Guy picks her up and carries her, princess style, miles and miles to safety. Maybe up a mountain, maybe through the woods, maybe just a few blocks down the road.

Anyone who’s ever carried anyone knows it’s super hard. The strongest man I know can’t carry me more than, perhaps, a block. And that’s being generous. And I’m really good at being carried — I don’t lie there limply. I use my arms and core to take some weight off the guy’s biceps and put it onto his shoulders.

In real rescue situations, you’d typically have say, six people carrying one victim — with other rescuers to sub in when they got tired.

Empty coffee cups.

Seriously, whenever you see a character holding a disposable coffee cup like this one on TV, it’s always empty. Really, obviously empty. I find it very distracting.

I believe it’s because most actors can’t be trusted not to spill the contents of their cup all over the expensive filming equipment or the set or whatever. But is it really too difficult to make a prop cup the same weight as a full coffee cup? Or maybe have a lesson in pretending your cup is full at acting school?

Sorry to ruin every show ever for you…

One's outfit, makeup, and hair style always match.

Fat people are rare.

Houses are either big, beautiful, and perfectly decorated, or small, ugly, and messy.

Funerals seem like fancy occasions.

People go through glass - easily - suffering only minor scrapes.

Money is seldom a reason to worry.

People are in the mood for sex soon after being involved in traumatic situations.

All lawyers go to court.

All crimes are solvable.

People brush their teeth without slobbering.

My wife works in cardiac medicine and HATES how dead people are bought back to life with an electric shock on TV. If a heart stops beating, that person is dead and an electric shock does nothing. A defibrillator does just that, it defibrillates. A heart in fibrillation is beating erratically preventing blood flow. A shock kind of resets it. If someone's heart has stopped, applying CPR will help, zapping them will not.

Someone pointed this out to me once, and now I can’t not see it: people hang up on telephone calls without saying “Good bye” or otherwise conversationally signaling that the conversation is concluded. The phone call will come in, and then the moment that the plot-advancing information has been exchanged, the call is abruptly ended.

At least in the United States, if you had a phone call like that with someone in real life, you’d probably find it exceptionally rude.

Gun shot victims dying slow and peaceful deaths. On the screen the victims are usually saying their goodbyes, asking for forgiveness, or seeking revenge.

Reality is very different. As a trauma nurse, I have witnessed many gun shot wound deaths and none were peaceful. The scene is violent and horrific. The victim is generally pleading to be saved if they’re conscious.

It is nothing like most movies depict. There are some movies that depict accurate deaths by gunshot, but most do not because the violence would deter audiences from watching.

I won’t go so far as to say that this never happens, but…

In television and movie “passion” scenes, the guy always grabs his partner—clothes ripping, buttons popping and flying across the room, and shoes hanging from lamps.

The guy then proceeds to enter his partner with zero preparation—no tender touches, no foreplay, no condoms… no anything.

And despite all of these factors, both parties dissolve into screaming mutual satisfaction within two minutes.

This has never happened to me. Nor has it happened to anyone that I know.

No concern about contraception? Diseases? Caring about your partner’s needs?

I want to know where the notion came from that this is realistic for most people… but then again, we’re talking about entertainment—not real life.

I guess that’s the point.

In the movies and on TV, it’s precisely when everything is perfect and everybody is happy that you know something disastrous is about to happen.

Seeing everything go well is what makes you suspicious.

We are learning to be afraid of good fortune - as if joy was something to be wary of.

An assured, impending catastrophe is a sound reason to make sure we never get too happy.

And sure enough, that’s when the car skids. The child wanders off into the woods. Smoke billows.

Well, life is not like TV.

Wonderful things can keep happening to me, one after the other.

The other shoe is not going to drop.

There is no logical reason why there should be a limit to how happy I can be, and the same holds true for you.

People spending all of their time hanging out at the coffee shop (practically living there) ordering food and laughing day and night without having to worry about work or any other normal daily activities whatsoever.

Forensics. Attending a crime scene or post mortem while not wearing a hair net, safety goggles, face mask etc. Because if you're a hot young pathologist, you're more concerned with looking good than contaminating evidence or having corpse fluids on you

Coming out of a coma after many years. In TV, the patient looks quite well, like he is sleeping, wakes up, asks what the matter is. The family cries happy tears, the patient gets up to look at his own image in the mirror and and realizes he is ten years older. Then he returns home to deal with the psychological issues.

In real life, a comatose patient comes out of it usually very slowly, has lost all muscle tone, usually has a feeding tube or a tracheostomy tube in place and has very limited abilities. He can not walk, barely talk and most often comunicates by blinking or moving his eyes up and down. Progress is painstakinly slow. and very rarely does a person fully recover. Brain injury is unforgiving and I have never heard from a patient that has a full physical and intellectual recovery after more than a year in a coma or persistent vegetative state. Of course there can be a lot of love in the family and wonderful new memories in some cases, learning to live a new meaningful life with some mental or physical handicaps. But things will not be the same. It will be hard on everybody. There is always hope, just different expectations.

Ring doorbell and someone will open the door within 2 seconds. Do people always stand in front of their doors waiting for someone to ring the bell?

Call on someone's phone and they will pick up the call within a second. How come I have to wait so long for people to pick up their phone?

Background music/score. It would really help me figure out what’s happening in my life just by paying attention to background music.

Speed dating in almost every show. Guy meets girl, flirts a bit, sparks fly and the next thing you know that they are seeing each other. Doesn’t happen that often in real life.

How come they don't watch tv like we do? Only The Big Bang Theory used to discuss about tv shows and movies. But even that stopped after a few seasons.

Laugh tracks in comedy shows. It would really help me if laugh tracks actually worked in real life. Some people don't understand that I made a joke.

Why everybody looks so perfect in TV shows? Girls know how to apply perfect makeup. Guys have gelled hair and abs. Everyone has perfect skin.

Locker Conversations.

In between classes, in TV shows, characters stop by their lockers for a chat with their friends. This is seemingly where A LOT of drama happens. But in real life? No.

Most high school students rarely use their lockers; they just carry their things around in their backpacks. Lockers are often assigned to students in hopes that they will be used daily, but in reality they supply a storage unit for rarely used textbooks and school supplies. Also, students usually have around five minutes between their classes, so there isn’t enough time to casually chat with their friends outside of their lockers!

Another thing, ALL CHARACTERS HAVE TOP LOCKERS. Wow! By chance, all the main characters were all lucky enough to be assigned top row lockers? Never irl lol.

An Indian boy likes a girl, the girl doesn't know it. He wants to express his feelings.

What he will do?

He will stalk her in the college or school. He will stalk her in the mall while is shopping. He will stalk her while she is eating food. He will stalk her in the library. He will stalk her in the other country too. (Where the female lead is spending her honeymoon with her fiance, he still doesn't stop.) He will stalk her to the bathroom, yeah we are Indians we don't spare any space. And then what happens?

*Drum roll please.*

The girl falls in love.

This is the concept of 99% of Indian movies.

When a couple kisses for the first time, everybody around them applauds.

Women wear bras to bed, under their night gowns, and full make-up.

High schools are full of 25 year old students.

When people brush their teeth, they never rinse their mouths. They just spit and go.

Business people and professionals drink whisky, neat, constantly, regardless of sex, age or culture. Often they toss back 4 to 6 ounces without having any apparent effects.

People never say please or thank you - especially thank you.

Nobody ever finishes a meal - especially breakfast. They get loaded up with pancakes, bacon, eggs and toast, and then they leave it untouched. They also never take more than a sip of their giant glass of orange juice.

People are really nasty to each other - yell, say hurtful things - and yet there are seldom repercussions either personally or professionally.

Characters live in apartments or houses that would cost much more than they could afford.

Medical shows are meticulously researched (to the point that medical students study shows like House), but in crime shows, m*rder and s****de methods are frequently all wrong. Ditto bomb building. (I’m not complaining.)

Ok, this isn't a deep, philosophical answer, but whenever I see someone brushing their teeth on TV it always looks neat. No toothpaste dripping down the chin or getting flicked into the eyes. I know that for practical purposes the actors don't use toothpaste because it would ruin the shot, but I really wish just once it would look more realistic.

Let’s talk about movie gun fights.

Because they are ridiculous.

In a real gunfight a guy never walks down the middle of an open street. Standing up tall just shooting and not reloading.

Meanwhile, his enemies have him surrounded, are behind cover, shooting at him and missing over and over again.

Somehow Denzel just strolls down the street returning fire, landing head-shot after headshot with every round he fires.

It’s beyond science fiction. He would have been dead and the movie would have ended after 5 minutes.

Don’t believe me? Ask any military vet.

Waiting for a taxi isn’t a thing in movies. Just wave your hand and a taxi will appear out of nowhere.

Phones in movies are so advanced that you don’t even dial the whole number and you’re already talking with your correspondent.

Shooting 952 bullets towards somebody and not even one of them hits him.

Although the house is obviously haunted with evil souls and ghosts and death is the most probable thing to happen, staying for 9 more weeks is apparently a good idea.

I look through the window and see someone creeping in the back of the house with a machete in his hand and his face covered with blood. I go straight towards him in case he is lost or something.

Science says humans can’t survive without oxygen for more than 3 minutes. Movies say that humans can spend 10 minutes under the water while fighting a shark with their bare hands.

Every time you turn on the TV, “lucky you” finds the news just starting to talk about something that relates to you. Perfect timing as always.

Running from a killer who is slowly walking towards you without falling every single 10 seconds is impossible, even if you dodged 952 bullets at once.

And finally, you can predict the future by the weather. If you see lightning, you better run because s**t is about to get real.