Gratitude is a wonderful feeling that means so much in our lives. We thank our parents for raising us, our friends for all the good things they do for us; we thank random people around us - for big and small pleasant things. We thank our relatives... but here actually lies the stumbling block!
In fact, it's quite difficult to determine at what point someone close to us really expects words of gratitude from us and at what point it's all taken for granted. For example, in the case of the user u/Relevant_Artichoke24, the author of today's story, it was a joint trip with her bro to Scotland. However, let's take everything in order.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has an elder brother who is married and has 2 kids under 6YO
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The siblings have always been very close to each other, and recently, the brother gifted the sis a trip to Scotland
Image credits: Relevant_Artichoke24
Image credits: wirestock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The siblings went on the trip together - and the sister-in-law stayed at home babysitting the kids
Image credits: Relevant_Artichoke24
Image credits: peoplecreations / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The trip was wonderful, and the author was incredibly thankful to her brother - but didn't say any word of gratitude to his spouse
Image credits: Relevant_Artichoke24
The SIL was livid over this and dubbed our heroine 'disrespectful,' and their relationships with their brother had been strained since then
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 22 years old. She has a 35YO older brother and other siblings, and all of them, as our heroine notes, have always been very close to each other. Which, by the way, the author's SIL could never understand. However, different families always have different traditions and customs - after all, we are all different.
And so, quite recently, the elder brother gave our heroine a trip to Scotland for her birthday - something she had long dreamed of but could never afford due to tight finances. The brother and sister were supposed to go together, and his wife, staying with their two kids under 6 at home, wished her husband and SIL to have a great time.
And so it was - the trip was simply wonderful, and our heroine was incredibly grateful to her bro for such an incredible birthday gift. But, as it turned out, after returning home, her sister-in-law also expected some words of gratitude from her for the fact that she approved her husband of going, staying to babysit their kids. The author didn't think about this at all and refused to agree that SIL actually did her any favor.
The result was a real fight, during which the sister-in-law called the OP 'disrespectful' - like she sat at home with the children, while she 'had fun with her husband' in Scotland! Yes, that's exactly what she said. And, what's most offensive for the author is that since then, she and her brother have gone low contact - apparently at the request of his wife. And this, it must be said, really upsets our heroine.
Image credits: benzoix / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"The situation is not very pleasant and seems quite ambivalent, to be honest," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, who Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "On the one hand, we are talking exclusively about the relationship between spouses, in which this woman, in fact, does not interfere in any way."
"On the other hand, simply saying "Thank you!" would have been fine. However, if she doesn't have her own children, she won't be able to go into all the intricacies of parenting and babysitting either. Therefore, expecting her to say some special and heartfelt words of gratitude for the wife letting her brother go on a trip is not quite right."
"If I were this woman, since she is so upset about the deterioration of her relationship with the brother, I would once again sincerely talk to his wife, explain the situation, and try to mend fences with her. And yes, it would be worth thanking her - since it's so important to her. After all, in a relationship with any married person, you always need to take into account the factor of their spouse," Irina sums up.
People in the comments also sincerely noted that the story described looks rather strange; however, in the end, babysitting 2 kids alone is really not this easy, so most likely, the SIL gave our heroine a true gift. "Being home alone with the kids when your spouse is gone is kind of a blow," one of the responders reasonably wrote. And what do you, our dear readers, also think about this situation?
People in the comments were very divided, but most of them simply urged the author to just thank her SIL and that's all
