Occasions,WeddingJUN 21, 2022

"Am I The [Jerk] For Wearing A White Dress To My Friend's Wedding?"

Pre-wedding jitters are a perfectly normal part of the process; it's completely natural for us to feel anxious as we approach such a big life milestone. However, as Reddit user RunawayMaidOfHonor found out, not everyone can handle the excitement.

Recently, a friend invited the woman to her wedding. Knowing just how important the ceremony was to her and the amount of preparation that went into planning it, RunawayMaidOfHonor even suggested the friend pick her dress together.

To her confusion, the friend chose a white gown for her. The woman repeatedly asked if she was sure, but the bride reassured her that it was what she thought was best. However, at the ceremony, RunawayMaidOfHonor found out that it was actually a test.

Unsure about the way she reacted to the whole situation, the Redditor explained exactly what happened to the platform's 'Am I the [Jerk?]' community, asking them to evaluate her actions and tell her if she actually messed up or it was just her friend acting out.

This woman thought she was going to her friend's wedding, but the ceremony turned out to be a "friendship test"

Image credits: Marius Muresan (not the actual photo)

And she failed even before attending

Image credits: Vadym Pastukh (not the actual photo)

Later, RunawayMaidOfHonor clarified in a comment that initially, Charlotte asked her to show all of her dresses.

"I asked her if she meant 'all' and she said yes. I brought out everything I hadn't said no to and she said 'is that really all of your dresses?' (It was relatively slim pickings once I had ruled out anything inappropriate by my own standards)."

"I told her I had several in a no pile, and she insisted on seeing them too. She did in fact follow me into my closet because I guess she thought I'd need help retrieving them. She grabbed the white one amongst the ones she helped me retrieve," the Redditor recalled.

RunawayMaidOfHonor said she asked if it was wrong, inappropriate, or if it would draw attention away from Charlotte.

"I even tried to argue with her at one point why I shouldn't wear the dress and she told me it fit her 'vision.' I've been to weddings where the guests wear white, [and] I've been to other non-traditional ceremonies ... I would not have done this if she hadn't reassured me it was what she wanted."

After the story went viral, the woman released an update on the whole ordeal

Trust is essential to the development of healthy, secure, and satisfying relationships, and it seems that Charlotte might have some issues with it.

According to experts, individuals with lower levels of trust tend to monitor and occasionally test another person's degree of support and responsiveness in their relationship.

However, when a relationship lacks trust, it allows for the potential development of harmful thoughts, actions, or emotions, such as negative attributions, suspicion, and jealousy. Over time, these things can lead to even bigger problems, including emotional or physical abuse.

Trust issues are often linked with:

Depression;
Adjustment disorders (difficulty dealing with certain stresses);
Anxiety;
Fear of abandonment;
Attachment issues;
Post-traumatic stress;
Schizophrenia.

Trust is important in relationships because it allows us the opportunity to relax, be ourselves, and depend on another person. It provides us with the safety and security we need to turn to someone for comfort, reassurance, assistance, and affection.

Although there has been significant research on the subject, relatively little is known about how and why interpersonal trust develops and is maintained.

With that being said, one study discovered that a tendency to be trusting is influenced by genetic factors, while distrust, on the other hand, is not, and is primarily associated with socialization, including family dynamics and other influences.

Psychologist Erik Erikson put forth a theory of development that suggests the earliest years of life are all about learning whether the people around us can be trusted with our care and safety, and, Erikson said, whatever we learn from that plays a foundational role in our future personal growth.

So who knows, maybe Charlotte has some demons from the past she needs to attend to.