35 Experiences That Mess Up People More Than They Notice

Losing a pet. People acknowledge it’s sad, but unless you’ve been through it, you don’t realize just how deeply it can break you. It’s losing a best friend, a daily companion, and a source of unconditional love all at once.

Working under a toxic manager. I have work related ptsd.

Being poor/debt/financial instability.

Functioning depression. People don’t realize how exhausting it is to put on a “happy” face every day when you’re out in the world when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry for a week straight.

Growing up non diagnosed nurodivergence and never really fitting in and not knowing why while also not getting any support from the adults who should have noticed something.

Being raised by parents with undiagnosed mental illness.

Job searching! The fatigue of getting multiple rejections, being ghosted, while trying to pay bills can be crushing.

Feeling like no one loves you or understands you.

Not all, but a good amount of childbirth experiences. I regularly tell people it was the worst day of my life and they're shocked. Of course I was happy to meet my baby but that doesn't mean it wasn't a massively traumatic day getting there.

Being bullied. On TV, people act like it's funny. But it can provide life long trauma.

Becoming disabled. Nobody treats it as the truly traumatic experience it really is. There is no psychological support for us, as it happens. We are left to figure it out on our own.

Growing up as the “gifted” child, only to wind up the Family Disappointment.

Being cheated on can ruin your life.

Someone you trusted taking your deepest traumas and insecurities to ‘win’ an argument.

Being raised in Evangelical Christianity or other high-control religious environments.

Growing up with parents who simply do not love each other, who scream at each other all the time, and never get divorced.

Growing up in a household where you learn to be responsible for your parents’ feelings from a very young age.

Edit to add: I didn’t think this would resonate with so many people. Thank you to everyone for sharing if this hit home for you. Just knowing that there are other hearts out there who know what it felt like, and feels like to carry into adulthood no matter how old you are, feels supportive. 🤎.

Being ghosted for no reason by friends.

Made me lose all respect I had for myself and made my anxiety 10× worse.

Feeling emotionally invisible. It’s a slow, quiet kind of trauma that builds over time. I think people often underestimate how much it affects your mental health when you constantly feel like no one truly sees or hears you.

Volunteering with animals. it’s not just playing with puppies and kitties. i work in animal welfare now and i have years of trauma and guilt from the terrible s**t people have done to these animals.

Growing up with a parent who goes silent when angry. I never knew if it was me she was mad at, and if so, what I did. I’m 70 years old, and while I consciously fight the feeling, if someone is quiet I assume they’re angry with me, even if there’s no reason they should be.