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“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma

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The traumatic experiences that you had when you were a child can massively affect your life as you grow up. If these deep-set issues are left unaddressed, whether by you or with the help of a mental health professional, they can drastically reduce the quality of your life.
The r/AskReddit online community discussed the things that adults do that they only recently realized were direct results of their traumatic childhoods. You’ll find their personal insights and experiences as you scroll down below.
Remember, asking for help is never a sign of weakness. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues or have unresolved traumas in your past, consider therapy or counseling.

#1

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
I realized I’m toxically independent. I have an extremely hard time asking for help because I never had it.
270points

#2

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
I do not prioritize myself. Be it health, time, or necessities. Everyone else in my life is ahead of me in the queue. This makes me seem incredibly helpful.
Being helpful allows me to be present without being a target. Being helpful allows me to avoid my own problems because I'm too busy helping everyone else with theirs. Being helpful allows me to feel valuable instead of expendable.
The only time I ever really take care of myself is if I know it will impact my ability to take care of someone else. It's the only way I've found to make healthier choices, and it's still barely enough.
190points

#3

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Overthinking. Predicting and preparing for worst case scenarios. Having a higher tolerance for situations while also falling apart over tiny things. Refusing to let people stand behind me. Lack of trust for others. Being very prepared for people to drop and leave me without reason or warning.
Oh I forgot to mention you develop a physical need to help others. You want nothing more than to make others happy to avoid or overcome ever feeling as you do. No matter what it costs you. And you hope that you can make up for whatever it is you did to deserve it all.
170points

As we’ve covered on Bored Panda recently, you may want to seek professional help if your mental health issues are causing anxiety, and panic attacks, and disrupting your daily life. It’s important to recognize that mental health experts are often very supportive and empathetic. 

Though therapy can help people deal with their past traumas, heal, and move past them, far from everyone sees counseling in a positive light. For example, some people are scared that their therapists are going to judge them for their experiences or decisions. According to ‘Thriveworks,’ people do not want to be perceived as weak. However, proactively taking care of your mental health isn’t a weakness. It’s quite the opposite.

#4

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Being hyperaware of anyone experiencing negative emotions in the room. Feeling someone else's anger or depression very severely and feeling as though I have to be the one to calm things down and keep the peace.
150points

#5

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
I keep saying sorry to every little inconveniences or anytime I feel like I’m bothering someone.
135points

#6

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Seriously doubt the motives of anyone who says anything nice.
133points

Meanwhile, other folks are a tad skeptical about therapy as a whole. They might feel that counseling won’t solve their issues. Or that it’s simply an expensive way of talking about your feelings, something that they could do with their friends. This, of course, couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Therapy provides new perspectives that aim to reframe your past experiences, in order to empower you. If venting to your friends from time to time is all that it takes to solve all of your issues, then more power to you! But you should never assume that it’s the same as working with a qualified, experienced professional.

#7

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Something I do that I recently learned other people don't do is constantly pay attention to my surroundings. I listen for footsteps, doors opening and closing, people's voices, water running in the pipes, cars pulling into the driveway, on and on. As a kid I needed to know who was in my house and what they were doing.
125points

#8

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Probably going to get burried, but because I was unwanted by my own mother, I now self sabotage almost all relationships in my life because "how long until I'm discarded".
114points

#9

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
I realised recently that a lot of the cruel things that were said to me have embedded themselves into my regular vocabulary under the guise of 'self-deprecating humor'.
111points

Other people might be too proud to go to counseling. They believe that they should be able to solve their problems on their own. Still, others are simply scared of opening up to a complete stranger. Or they’re afraid of how their lives might change in completely unknown ways after they solve their issues from the past. 

According to therapist Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., childhood trauma can stay in the body until it is processed. “The healthy flow and processing of distressing emotions, such as anger, sadness, shame, and fear, is essential to healing from childhood trauma as an adult,” she writes on ‘Psychology Today.’

#10

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Adrenaline dump at the slightest hint of conflict.
107points

#11

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Self doubt. Need for affirmation. Can't take criticism well. I spent most of my life being a good test taker. Now I find it difficult to have patience with myself while I struggle to learn/pick up new things.
103points

#12

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Not sure if this is just really weird, but at work whenever I ask for a day off, every job I've had, I had given a detailed description of why and the purpose of needing it off. Finally, at my current job l, my direct supervisor would keep telling me: "I don't need to know why."
I did some reflection and realized that, in my youth, if I didn't explain things as far as being absent, feeling sick, needing to go to the doctor; if I didn't have a good enough explanation, I was completely disregarded.
It got engrained in me to find the best possible reasoning behind nearly every choice I ever made.
96points

The therapist urges people to recall the situation, sense their emotional and physical response, and attach names to the emotions that bubble up. “As part of a mindful approach to healing from trauma, we need to fully accept everything that we feel. Whether it’s true to your conscious mind at this moment or not, say, ‘I love myself for feeling (angry, sad, anxious, etc.)’ Do this with every emotion you feel, especially the harder ones. Embrace your humanness, and love yourself for it.”

After experiencing and embracing these emotions, you can try to work on letting the trauma go and casting off the events that wounded you.

#13

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
I move very quietly. To the point that people joke that I can teleport because I'm next to them before they realize I'm there. I scare the people I live with just about every day because they don't hear me enter a room. I also used to be able to just walk up on so much s**t as a cop and prison guard because nobody ever heard me coming.
That's a skill you learn when you grow up not wanting to be seen or heard.
94points

#14

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Something minor goes wrong because I made a mistake, I think it is all over, ruined and everything is my fault, I feel I should just go crawl into a hole and die.
Just thought on this again and I guess that’s why I like animal rescue videos, mother cats raising an abandoned pup. The after part, the transformation that some love and care bring. No one did it for me, but it warms my heart to see it done for another, no matter that they’re not my species!
88points

#15

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
I strive towards solitude in all aspects of life, if there is no one else around there is no one to betray my trust & hurt me. The older I get the more I realize I'm still very much a human being with a need for connection & friendship, with a brain wired to be untrusting. I keep most people at distance & my relationships tend to feel shallow. It's a problem I'm not sure how to deal with.
82points

#16

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
I(m54) always have it in the back of my mind that anyone who says they love me has an ulterior motive. 
78points

#17

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Literally cannot take a compliment without immediately self-deprecating.
78points

#18

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Eating very fast... I'm in my late 30's and I still have this problem.
When we where given food, we usually had to fight siblings as there was never enough for us. At holidays, specific around Thanksgiving, I lost track of how many times my stepdad would get angry and throw the entire turkey dinner away. For good measure, he would spray the entire garbage can with bleach so we couldn't pick it out of the trash.
So when you got food in my house, you would eat it as fast as you could before it was stolen from you. Don't worry though, had mountains of Pepsi products though!....
77points

#19

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
I read people and situations. I can generally note someone's mood pretty quickly, not necessarily pin point what they are feeling of why but generally pretty close. People always tell me that I'm the first to notice when someone is feeling low or when something is wrong. I used to think I had some kind of gift for empathy until I realized that no, I have hypervigilance caused by years of feeling unsafe. I generally catch details that everyone else misses but can't remember 99% of the other stuff told to me or that I see unless I'm being self aware.
77points

#20

“Thanks, Dad. The Trauma Is Great:” 30 Things People Do Because Of Their Childhood Trauma
Getting overly attached to people way to quickly, which usually pushes them away and just destroys me over and over again.
75points
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