"What Immediately Tells You Someone Is A Trashy Parent?" (27 Responses)

The original thread appeared two months ago in the AskReddit community with the question: "What instantly tells you someone is a trashy parent?" As of today, it has 3.3K upvotes and over 4K different views and thoughts from commenters. Some people simply state their point of view, some share a story from their childhood or parenting, and some just recall an incident they saw once.

While each of us has our own criteria for determining what we consider "bad parenting," experts invariably point out some obvious "red flags." For example, according to this dedicated article on the Parenting Styles web portal, there are 5 main signs to detect a bad mom, dad or both:

1. They demand blind obedience from children.

2. They use intimidation to discipline.

3. They don’t monitor or control a child’s deviant behavior.

4. They deny responsibilities.

5. They refuse to adapt.

In any case, if we don't take into account the most extreme situations that Child Protective Services are called upon to deal with, trashy parenting often manifests itself in two cases: if parents blatantly neglect their duties and responsibilities, or, conversely, are overly controlling. Or simply try to control.

"Children look to parents to define what boundaries are and the consequences that can occur if the child crosses the boundaries," Health Line quotes Sharron Frederick, LCSW, a psychotherapist at Clarity Health Solutions. As a result, kids then either grow up knowing no boundaries at all, or are overly limited in all their deeds and actions. Neither is very good, you must agree.

"The saddest thing about this is not only that parents break the child's psyche with their actions, but also that such patterns tend to reproduce themselves in the future," says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment. "The fact is that many children involuntarily perceive such parenting techniques as something self-evident for their own families."

"As a result, when these children grow up, they sometimes can't cope with the attitudes from their childhood 'in their heads' and automatically harm their own family life. Or they simply spend long hours and days in therapy, trying to neutralize all the possible consequences of being raised by toxic parents," Maria sums up.

In any case, even if you were lucky enough and your childhood was absolutely cloudless, we think that it will still be useful for you to read this collection of stories. At least to know that there are completely different cases in life, infinitely far from perfect. And, if you see something similar in others, to know how to react in such a case. So please feel free to read and always remember: "Forewarned is forearmed!"