How we perceive the world can be quite subjective. A lot depends on our childhood environments, as well as the people we spend the most time around. They shape our assumptions and values. It’s when we change our environments and enter new social circles that we realize we may have gotten some ideas about the world very wrong.
Redditor u/Piguthew sparked a fascinating discussion on r/AskReddit after they asked everyone to share the traits they were raised to think were very common that reality proved otherwise. Read on to take a look at how these internet users saw the world growing up.
#1
Honestly, being polite. I was raised to be exceedingly polite and I feel really bad if I don't do things like let people pass in traffic or hold doors open or say my 'pleases and thanks yous'. And I like the idea of kindness being its own reward. Makes plus sum happiness in the world.
It really wasn't until I entered adulthood that I really saw how dismissive people were of those concepts. So much 'I got mine' and 'I insist on beating you to that light by 1.5 seconds' in the world. Just common courtesy stuff is a rare sight and that makes me sad.
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274points
#2
I didn't realize that most people just aren't that bright.
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249points
#3
The need to be on time / respecting start times. I knew my mom and dad were always late, but everyone else was always on time. We were very punctual and my hobbies involved things that required me to be early often. Then I became a young adult out of college, trying to schedule things with friends. OMG. The fact that it's 'okay' to show up to planned things an hour late is just... no. Absolutely not. Showing up to a party late is fine and expected. Do not show up late to things where people are out money if you aren't there on time. Absolutely unacceptable.
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189points
It can be quite shocking to realize that you were wrong about a lot of stuff. It’s jarring when you become aware of your own knowledge gaps. The things you thought were certainties about how the world turned out to be localized exceptions, not the rule. But, on the positive side, it’s an opportunity for growth.
It’s only when we recognize we don’t know something that we thought we did that we become open to learning new information and getting to grips with nuances. A true scientist embraces new information instead of denying its existence. However, it doesn’t lessen the emotional impact that we’ve been living a partial lie for years or possibly decades.
#4
Selflessness. I’m not a stingy person. I give close friends & family my time, money, food whatever they need when they need it. Always a phone call away but whenever I needed help, at the lowest point of my life. I was devastated to find out they rarely reciprocated.
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186points
#5
That people can just do things without thinking about it. For example, showering. Most people are just like, “I need to take a shower”, and then do it. Whereas I think about every little step: finding clothes, getting a towel, turning the water on, being cold when I take off my clothes, getting in, putting on the shampoo, washing my face, washing everything else, grooming, being cold when I get out, drying off, putting on deodorant, my hair being wet, which I hate, for hours or having to blow dry it, and getting dressed. Not to mention just peeling my a*s out of bed or off the couch to go do it even though I don’t want to.
But yeah, showering’s just one thing. It’s like that with *everything*. Don’t even get me started on cleaning. It’s all just so overwhelming, I just end up not doing it, which makes me feel disgusting and lazy. I hate ADHD so f*****g much, and mine’s extremely treatment resistant.
Also, most people seem to make eye contact naturally without having to force themselves to do it.
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152points
#6
Getting excited when I don't know something or find out I'm wrong because it means I get to learn something new.
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142points
Perfect objectivity is probably impossible. We don’t have the mental capacity to understand incredibly complex phenomena with all their nuances, scope, and potential consequences. However, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t strive to have a more objective understanding of how the world works. Moving away from subjective illusions that are grounded in emotions and closer to the objective truth—even if it’s step by tiny step—is admirable.
Being open-minded and curious about the world helps a lot with this. If we’re hungry for knowledge and humble enough to admit when we’re wrong, we can speed up our learning process. But this takes a lot of maturity.
#7
Gossiping . I grew up with a mom that gossiped a lot and viciously too . I quickly learned around other women that it’s unacceptable and attracts the wrong people.
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115points
#8
Basic problem solving apparently. Way too many people I see basically just shut down when presented with something they don't understand or don't really know how to do. Like they don't ask for help they don't Google around or look up tutorials They just shut down and are like well I don't know how to do that so I guess it's a lost cause.
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111points
It’s hard to admit that we may have been wrong about certain facts. Nobody wants to be made a fool of in their social circles. However, if we admit to our mistakes without making a big deal out of them and show some mild embarrassment, people tend to like us more. We show that we’re grounded, human, and self-aware.
On the flip side, if we’re stubborn and refuse to even fathom the possibility that we might have been wrong about something, we only push other people away. Nobody’s a fan of blind arrogance.
#10
Unfettered access to books and a large vocabulary. Both my brother and I had access to any book we wanted within reason. I wasn’t allowed p*rn at ten obviously. But if I wanted to research the Holocaust, I was given my library card and sent off. Ancient Rome? Here’s a bag make sure you can carry it out. Nothing was off limits and my mother always helped us with words we didn’t know. By sixth grade, my brother and I had easily read 1000s of books from various sources and had great vocabulary. Most of my middle school teachers were shocked to find that I didn’t need speaking skills. I already had them at a high school level. I was mostly confused as to why nobody understood the common words spoken in my home.
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94points
#11
I have an over active imagination to the point of being a problem throughout most of my life. It blows my mind when I meet someone who seems to have no imagination at all.
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93points
#12
That people were generally grown up and ready to face the world when they were 18-20. There might be rough edges or blind spots, but that'll get ironed out with a little bit of experience.
My first week at college quickly disabused me of that notion.
People didn't know leaving food out would cause it to spoil, that pizza boxes rot and attract vermin, didn't know how to do laundry, clean up after themselves, that getting enough sleep was necessary to function properly and letting other people sleep was the courteous and polite thing to do... Basic life skill stuff. The minute mom and dad weren't around to do everything, they had no idea how to do anything. And this is before we even get into emotional intelligence...
And these were people who were admitted to one of the best universities in the country, if not the world.
92points
What assumptions did you grow up with, dear Pandas? Did any of those assumptions get challenged when you finally became an adult and moved out? What do you think can help folks get over the shock that they’ve been blatantly wrong about something their entire lives? Tell us what you think in the comments. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
#13
I thought everyone associated every word, letter, and number with a color. Turns out not everyone does that and I have synesthesia.
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86points
#14
Not to steal someone else’s stuff. I grew in NM so I knew about robberies n s**t (stealing car radios, robbing homes) but I mean more like stuff at the office, at school, at work, etc. I got my erasers stolen at school once and was couldn’t wrap my head around why someone would do that. I still can’t wrap my head around why people steal others food at work.
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86points
#15
That most people don’t worry about everything and anything. It absolutely blew my mind when i realised other people didn’t constant feel fear and worry. i’d lived my entire life, right from childhood, with anxiety without knowing it wasn’t normal. Also that some people don’t think deeply. they can just see the surface and move on. for example watching sports bloopers my friend showed me a video people caning them selves on their bikes and skateboards and i was horrified that she was laughing because some of them would clearly have suffered traumatic brain injuries if not died, ended up in wheelchairs or had some lasting injury that meant they wouldn’t be able to do their sport anymore. i asked her about it and she said “i never actually thought about that, good point” also telling jokes they heard without realising how incredibly racist or sexist they were.
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83points
#16
Playfully talk s**t to my parents just like I would with my friends.
ITworksGuys:
My friend thought it was cool that my mom didn't care if we used cuss words.
Her only instruction was "don't talk like that in public and make me look like a f**king a**hole".
So funny looking back on that.
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82points
#17
Not me but my older sister apparently came back from her first day at kindergarten incredibly ticked off because “those kids were pretending they didn’t know how to read”.
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82points
#18
Knowing (what I assumed were) incredibly basic safety-related knowledge. Like. Really basic. Like "touch something really hot and you will burn yourself" basic.
My first job I worked at McDonald's, I was 18. I wasn't much older or younger than a lot of the people there (high turnover rate). I very quickly felt like a goddamn parent for a bunch of my PEERS. I ended up as a crew-trainer quite early on so I had to teach new employees how to do things.
I realized I needed to tell people, MY OWN AGE that:
1. The grill is hot. Don't touch with your bare hands.
2. The fryer is hot. Don't touch with your bare hands.
3. Boiling oil is hot. Don't touch the fryer baskets after they leave the oil with your bare hands. Or the oil. Because it is hot.
4. Fresh coffee is hot. Don't touch the kettle with your bare hands. Only the handle.
The boiling oil thing made me so nervous as well. One time I had a guy (my own damn age) after I told him how to take the fries basket out of oil (not very high, like barely out), and carefully demonstrated how to shake it so that the french fries didn't stick to each other; I caught him not five minutes later HURLING THAT S**T SO FAR INTO THE AIR AND SHAKING VIOLENTLY. I COULD SEE HUGE DROPLETS OF OIL SPRAYING INTO THE AIR. The fryer is in an area that people walk back and forth frequently. I yelped and told him "HEY. DON'T DO THAT. THAT'S DANGEROUS." He acted like I had 6 heads. I also caught him really flinging those baskets around after he dumped the fries out into the salting area, again, in the high-trafficked hallway. Like there are people assembling orders directly behind him.
Tldr; I don't care if you burn yourself because you didn't listen to me and don't realize the dangers of boiling oil and how hot those metal baskets get, but endanger other people and we have a huge f*****g problem.
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78points
#20
Anytime I started feeling weak, shaky and nauseous after not eating anything for 3-4 hours I was told it was normal and happened to everyone.
Wasn’t until I was 21 and living with my bf that I discovered no, that’s not normal, I’m actually hypoglycaemic.
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67points