In general, people just looooove giving advice. Including me, I’m not ashamed to admit it. However, with times changing, some of the popular advice ceases to comply with a modern outlook, goes sour, and finally turns into pieces of really toxic self-care advice. Now, we cannot promise to shield you from the toxic advice that’s floating out there in the wilderness of the internet, but here’s what we can do - gather the bad advice that people have caught around, put as much of it as we can in one place (e.g., this article), and then present it as a cautionary tale. Most of this self-care advice gone sour comes from an excellent Reddit thread, so you can be quite sure that their being here is collective thinking.
Now, you might’ve never thought of it, but even such simple advice on self-care as the legendary ‘just be yourself’ is not really good advice. And here’s why - it works only if you’re a decent person, but it doesn’t do you any good if you need to do some personal growth. See? It’s so easy to get lost in the world of bad advice shared on the internet! Thankfully, the Reddit people caught these useless pieces and shared them with the rest of us so we could take a look at them from a fresh perspective (and, in some cases, stop giving them to other people!).
Now, this might not be a really pleasant list - after all, it’s all about toxic self-care advice - but it’s an educational one nonetheless. So, scroll down below whenever you’re ready to delve deep into the world of bad advice and check out the submissions. Rank the notions if you feel like it, and show this insightful list to your friends, too.
#1
"If you can't love yourself, how are you going to love anybody else?"
"I love my girlfriend, I love my friends, I love my family, I love my cat. Still don't love myself! But that doesn't make my love for others any less meaningful!"
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54points
#2
"This is a cure, (shows a picture of the woods), this is poison, (shows some antidepressants). Shut the f*ck up, some people need antidepressants to function. Going for a walk in the woods will not just magically cure your depression."
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53points
#4
"People have it worse than you."
"That may be true but that doesn't invalidate your emotions."
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46points
#5
"If people don’t like you for who are, that’s their problem."
"No, sometimes you’re a jerk. 9/10 the common denominator rule stands."
GozerDGozerian replied: "My dads version of this was, 'If everywhere you go smells like dog sh*t, it’s probably on your shoe.'
42points
#6
"If they can't handle my worst, they don't deserve my best."
"Funny how those people are always at their 'worst.'"
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37points
#7
"Find a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."
"First of all, even a job you love is going to suck... often. That's why they pay you to do it. This advice leaves you feeling like a failure whenever you have a bad day at work. Plus, there's a lot of value in working for a living and finding your satisfaction at a more personal level."
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35points
#8
"The whole 'blood is thicker than water' advice where you should feel obligated to be loyal to your family no matter what. If they are toxic or abusive then there is no reason for you to keep that around in your life, especially if it is detrimental to your own well-being/mental health."
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33points
#9
"Anything is possible if you work hard enough."
"No! Not everything is possible. You’re not going to be the new Nelson Mandela, the president of the USA, or the new pop artist. I’m sorry to tell you but it’s true."
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32points
#10
"You should forgive/love all people."
"Nope. There are people who have committed irrevocably awful things, and I choose not to forgive them, ever."
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29points
#11
"Guilt is a wasted emotion."
"Pretty sure it was Wayne Dyer who published this nonsense in the 80s. Having at least some guilt is a good sign that you're not a psychopath."
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28points
#12
"There's no wrong way to parent."
"As a child of abuse, there are absolutely wrong ways to parent. Frankly, I'm of the opinion that the majority of chronic mental illnesses are the result of bad parenting practices because wrong parenting can f*ck up every body system.
Every parent should consult a child psych professional just like they consult a pediatrician about their child's wellbeing. They're professionals who have the education to read research studies regarding child development and can direct a parent on how to raise a healthy child."
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28points
#13
"Any kind of advice that tells you to test friendships by withholding contact to see if they'll notice or straight up tells you to drop friends that don't reach out to you regularly. This is a very selfish and passive-aggressive thing to do. If you miss your friend then call them up, don't play cat and mouse games. Maybe they have s*it going on in their lives, the world does not revolve around you."
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27points
#14
"Why are you sad? You have everything to be happy."
"Even if there are few happy things in your life you don’t need to be ashamed to feel sad or depressed."
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27points
#15
"Show them what they’re missing."
"No. Just do better for yourself."
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26points
#16
"You have to love yourself before someone else will love you."
"I can say from experience that sometimes you need someone else to love you first. There was a time when my girlfriend saw value in me before I saw it in myself."
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24points
#17
"Don’t go to sleep while angry at your partner."
"Such stupid advice. The longer you stay awake the more tired and irritable you get, and the fight will get worse. It’s like trying to dig yourself out of a hole.
Many times my wife and I have been in bad arguments late at night, and then we just go to sleep and after a good night's rest we talk it out and realize that we were just both in bad moods because we were tired."
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24points
#18
"Follow your heart."
"Honestly, this statement almost never works. Sometimes love can be toxic, and maybe the correct decision is painful. Maybe it pains you to leave someone. Your heart shouldn’t rule you."
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23points
#19
"Stop looking for love and it will come to you."
Maybe that works if you're naturally attractive and naturally interested in things that enhance your attractiveness (working out, makeup, fashion, whatever). But if you're a shy, introverted person of average-to-below attractiveness... this is good advice to stay sad and alone forever."
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23points
#20
"Money can’t buy happiness."
"Maybe not but it really helps with the will to live. Without the means to live, there’s no real will to live. Baseline, everyone should have the means to live."
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22points