Very often, when people open up about their problems or negative thoughts they have, the first instinct of the other person is to cheer them up, try to reassure them that everything will work out and that there are worse things that could happen. People who try to make the troubled person feel better don’t usually mean any harm, but they actually are forcing positivity on a person that can’t see the lighter side of the situation at that moment.
Dismissing negative emotions, trying to forcefully see something good in a terrible situation and trying to find false reassurances is called toxic positivity. It often becomes a way to respond to a distressful situation when you don’t know what else to say. But feeling the emotions that you’re having is important, regardless of whether they are positive or negative.
People in the subreddit AskWomen understand that and share some phrases they would consider to fall under the toxic positivity category and would like to stop hearing. What they would like to hear instead is compassion and well wishes.
More info: Reddit
#24
“Life will be easier if you just accept that you’ll be doing most of the house work”…. Ex-boyfriends mom in response to a conversation about how ex-boyfriend did not help with chores.
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113points
#25
Something along the lines of “you have as many hours in the day as Beyoncé.” I just can’t even begin with how much I hate everything about that.
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108points
#26
"Having expectations on relationships only lead to disappoiment" So am I supposed to put up with whatever the f**k they want to treat me? Wtf.
98points
#29
"You either trust me or you don't. Trust doesn't get built" - said my disgusting ex earlier in our relationship
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90points
#30
A YouTube video opened my eyes on how body positivity can be toxic. I've realized I'm just body-neutral. I don't think my body is beautiful and I don't have to! I'm more than my body and I'm at peace with it even if I wish some things were different. They don't affect my self-esteem.
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88points
#31
"well, everyone has a little bit of depression here and there." ok and that's supposed to make me feel better or something?
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84points
#32
"You are only hurting yourself when you are crying look I'm unaffected."
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73points
#35
"Its not your situation. Its about how you react to it." - my bff
And how am I suppose to react to office sexual harassment of a senior management without the risk of losing my job and not be able to pay my rent, dare I may say???? There's also the risk of ruining connections and forever barring me from the industry completely.
I was venting to my friend. All I needed was to vent and cry. I know the consequences involved with even a tiny move against this person who has such great influence my chosen feild. No, I cant just "react" my heart out, dear.
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70points
#36
The HR person at my old job told me to "lean in more" when I requested a meeting about sexism in the office.
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58points
#37
Not sure if this fits, but "Just keep eating. Don't worry about how much. Eat until you're happy" Eat until I'm happy? I prefer to separate food from emotion, thank you. I've seen people approach the brink of passing aaway by tying food and emotion. No thank you. Not for me.
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57points
#38
"the act of smiling makes you feel better, so even if you're feeling really bad you can start smiling and eventually your feelings will catch up" No thank you
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52points
#39
When I vent I don't enjoy a certain aspect of my jobs to a friend/colleague: "but it won't be any different in a different field"
Well thank you that is very relevant
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52points
