Few things test your patience like working with people. We found a few Reddit threads where tourist guides share the funniest, strangest, and most infuriating things their groups have said and done. From ignorant questions to outright reckless behavior, these stories show that leading others through new places isn't just about showing the sights, it's also about managing chaos, keeping them safe, and holding it together when you have every reason to lose your marbles.
#1
I worked at a living history farm museum. I had a kid that was climbing on stuff the whole tour in the farm house and trying to get behind the Smith in the blacksmith shop during a demo.
After the tour when people are allowed to roam the grounds, I hear his mom screaming and look over to the barn and this kid has climbed the fence into the field with our long horn oxen and is trying to poke them with a stick. I walk over and calmly told him to get out of the field before our lazy oxen decide they've had enough, but this jack off decides to look me in the eye and smack Ted on the a*s with the stick like it's a riding crop. Ted, bless him, just kinda jumps a little and whips his head around with a WTF dude look on his face. But seeing as he's a long horn, he just wipes this kid out with one of his horns when he turned his head. Kid goes flying into the dirt and is having a melt down. Mom is freaking out. I'm like dude, get the hell out of the pen before Ted actually gets mad.
So this kid is crying and trying to climb the fence out of the field and Bill, who has been watching this whole thing waits until the kid is almost over the fence and walks up to him and nudges him in the a*s with his nose and pushes him off the top of the fence. It was everything I could do to keep from laughing.
Kid was fine, Ted was fine, but the kid and his mom were promptly kicked out of the museum. Their dad and little sister were allowed to stay because she was well behaved and was just enjoying petting the goats at the petting zoo. So since the kid had to leave but his sister didn't there was a temper tantrum in the parking lot that could be heard all the way to the other side of the farm. But the oxen got some extra grain that night, so I guess they won in the end.
After the tour when people are allowed to roam the grounds, I hear his mom screaming and look over to the barn and this kid has climbed the fence into the field with our long horn oxen and is trying to poke them with a stick. I walk over and calmly told him to get out of the field before our lazy oxen decide they've had enough, but this jack off decides to look me in the eye and smack Ted on the a*s with the stick like it's a riding crop. Ted, bless him, just kinda jumps a little and whips his head around with a WTF dude look on his face. But seeing as he's a long horn, he just wipes this kid out with one of his horns when he turned his head. Kid goes flying into the dirt and is having a melt down. Mom is freaking out. I'm like dude, get the hell out of the pen before Ted actually gets mad.
So this kid is crying and trying to climb the fence out of the field and Bill, who has been watching this whole thing waits until the kid is almost over the fence and walks up to him and nudges him in the a*s with his nose and pushes him off the top of the fence. It was everything I could do to keep from laughing.
Kid was fine, Ted was fine, but the kid and his mom were promptly kicked out of the museum. Their dad and little sister were allowed to stay because she was well behaved and was just enjoying petting the goats at the petting zoo. So since the kid had to leave but his sister didn't there was a temper tantrum in the parking lot that could be heard all the way to the other side of the farm. But the oxen got some extra grain that night, so I guess they won in the end.
77points
Despite all of their challenges, tourist guides are doing an excellent job. Their services are making a major comeback.
According to data from booking platform GetYourGuide, nearly all (94%) leisure travelers who booked a guided tour in 2023 plan to do it again.
The demand for local expertise is also clear, with 89% of travelers believing that a local guide is the best way to explore a new destination.
#2
My uncle was a tour guide in Iceland, some time ago. He once guided a group of Americans around the country and stopped at a glacier in the middle of nowhere. He explained to the group that this glacier had been here for thousands of years and that it doesn't melt. The group then went back to the bus to carry on, but my uncle notices that a woman was carrying a big piece of the glacier towards the bus, so he stops her and says:
"I'm sorry, you can't bring that onto the bus, it will melt." The woman quickly responded:
"But you said it doesn't melt." My uncle stood there for a while, dumbfounded by the amount of stupidity that was in that answer, before finally saying:
"Okay, but you'll have to put it in your backpack and keep it in there for the whole journey." The woman readily agreed and started to empty her backpack to make space for the big block of ice.
Needless to say this didn't end well for the woman, as the ice obviously melted in her bag.
"I'm sorry, you can't bring that onto the bus, it will melt." The woman quickly responded:
"But you said it doesn't melt." My uncle stood there for a while, dumbfounded by the amount of stupidity that was in that answer, before finally saying:
"Okay, but you'll have to put it in your backpack and keep it in there for the whole journey." The woman readily agreed and started to empty her backpack to make space for the big block of ice.
Needless to say this didn't end well for the woman, as the ice obviously melted in her bag.
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65points
#3
I was a whitewater rafting guide and we had a trip of about 5 boats. One of the clients only brought nice high heel type shoes (not very high but those type of lady nice shoes, not sure what to call them). We require shoes on the trip so thats what she wore. About an hour into the trip it was like 100 degrees so the guests start a water fight with their paddles and all of a sudden I hear this lady screaming "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I didn't come here to get wet!!". On a whitewater rafting trip....
Another guide later told me a little girl in his boat said, "that's my mom, she is always like this".
Another guide later told me a little girl in his boat said, "that's my mom, she is always like this".
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61points
#4
My cousin is a tourist guide and biologist, most of his tours are in Africa. He instructed his group of 20-25 people including kids not to wear any type of earrings or collars especially shiny stuff since they were about to go into a thick forest to try to see a bunch of animals. This is very important because 20-25 make a lot of noise which makes wild animals run away or hide, it's even worse if they're wearing shiny stuff they can spot from far away. Ok so this woman complains, decides to wear shiny earrings anyway, cousin tells her to get rid of them or she ain't coming with the group so she obeys but puts them on a bit later.
Some species of monkeys in that area LOVE shiny stuff. They ripped the earrings from her ears.
Some species of monkeys in that area LOVE shiny stuff. They ripped the earrings from her ears.
60points
Younger generations are at the forefront of this revival. Two in five of Millennial (42%) and Gen Z (40%) leisure travelers booked a guided tour during that year, far outpacing Gen X and Boomers.
Overall, more than two-thirds (69%) of leisure travelers are looking at guided tours for a deep dive into the history of a city or landmark, which makes it the biggest reason for choosing this service.
Other big factors that make people book guides include the chance to explore local cuisine (40%) and the opportunity to meet locals (28%). When it comes to visiting a new city, a third of travelers are into walking (34%) or bus or boat (27%) tours, and guided tours of a famous landmark (31%) or a museum (22%) are also on their must-do list.
So there's a good chance we'll be seeing more of these stories in the near future as well.
#5
Couple of guys I used to play cricket with went on a school trip to Auschwitz and decided to steal a small pair of glasses and some buttons they found half buried in the ground.
They were detained by Polish police while they were leaving the site.
Hard to know what goes through people’s heads sometimes.
They were detained by Polish police while they were leaving the site.
Hard to know what goes through people’s heads sometimes.
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52points
#6
I wasn't the tour guide but I was on a tour of Namibia and had a Zimbabwean guide who was telling us his craziest stories. He had a couple that was married who were on their honeymoon who were on one of his trips. One night, everyone is sitting around the fire and chatting (just as we were) and this couple gets up to go to the bathroom. This is a campsite so they walk off into the darkness towards the toilets. A few minutes later the guy runs back alone, crying and panicking. Everyone asks him what happened. "I think my wife was k**led by a lion."
Gasp, shock. Everyone is freaked out, asking him what happened, and as he's trying to explain, the now-irate wife walks up to the campsite and starts yelling. So what had happened? Well, they'd walked off, and at some point near the toilets, they both heard a kind of snuffling noise in the underbrush, clearly an animal rooting around. The husband completely freaks out, pushes his wife towards the noise and *down to the ground*, screams, and runs away. Spoiler alert, it was not a lion and the wife was not pleased at the attempts at being sacrificed. The guide told us that they didn't speak the entire rest of the trip and they he believes they got divorced. Hilarious.
TL;DR; don't shove your wife into the ground if you think there is a hungry lion in the underbrush just to save yourself.
Gasp, shock. Everyone is freaked out, asking him what happened, and as he's trying to explain, the now-irate wife walks up to the campsite and starts yelling. So what had happened? Well, they'd walked off, and at some point near the toilets, they both heard a kind of snuffling noise in the underbrush, clearly an animal rooting around. The husband completely freaks out, pushes his wife towards the noise and *down to the ground*, screams, and runs away. Spoiler alert, it was not a lion and the wife was not pleased at the attempts at being sacrificed. The guide told us that they didn't speak the entire rest of the trip and they he believes they got divorced. Hilarious.
TL;DR; don't shove your wife into the ground if you think there is a hungry lion in the underbrush just to save yourself.
52points
Other big factors that make people book guides include the chance to explore local cuisine (40%) and the opportunity to meet locals (28%). When it comes to visiting a new city, a third of travelers are into walking (34%) or bus or boat (27%) tours, and guided tours of a famous landmark (31%) or a museum (22%) are also on their must-do list.
So there's a good chance we'll be seeing more of these stories in the near future as well.
#7
Saw a kid knock over a set of replica civil war rifles that were on display, and then his mom got mad at the tour guide for yelling at him. The kid and his mom were kicked off the civil war tour.
47points
#8
On an open topped tour bus in London - woman tries to dangle her toddler over the railing, then starts saying she's going to complain to my manager when I told her to stop. Caught her doing it again and company policy said that anyone endangering their kids like that was to be removed from the tour, so the driver had to come up and march her off. She still insisted she did nothing wrong. Like, she literally had the kid's feet on the side rail of the (moving) bus and was just holding him loosely round the waist. One low hanging tree branch, of which there were many on the route, and that kid was gone.
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47points
#9
Not a tour guide, but a park ranger in Banff told me a story about a couple of European tourists who asked him where they could see some bears. The ranger mentions a few spots where bears are known to be and cautions them to be careful. The next year he saw the same couple and they thanked him and showed him some pictures they had taken. In one of them there was a picture of the wife holding a black bear cub and smiling. The ranger kinda lost it on them.
47points
#10
Former whitewater rafting guide. There's a calmer section of the river people can, if they choose to, hop out and swim through. They are wearing life jackets so you can just float through it.
This woman decides she wants to try it and hops out. After she pops up she slowly tilts forward until just the back of her jacket is out of the water and she's completely still. After 5 or so seconds of this I start to realize this might not be intentional and paddle over and physically pick her head up above the water followed by her gasping for air. I haul her in the boat and ask what happened.
She said she didn't know what to do as she'd "never been submerged in water before". 1) why are you on a whitewater rafting trip? 2) why didn't your strategy involve moving your body?
This woman decides she wants to try it and hops out. After she pops up she slowly tilts forward until just the back of her jacket is out of the water and she's completely still. After 5 or so seconds of this I start to realize this might not be intentional and paddle over and physically pick her head up above the water followed by her gasping for air. I haul her in the boat and ask what happened.
She said she didn't know what to do as she'd "never been submerged in water before". 1) why are you on a whitewater rafting trip? 2) why didn't your strategy involve moving your body?
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43points
#11
We're pretty good at stopping tourist from doing too much damage. After being in the industry for a while you get a spidey sense for when people are going to do dumb things and can often steer them away from doing anything too bad. That being said, here's one of my favourite stories to tell.
I was 7 months pregnant and it was the week before I went on maternity leave. I was driving out to one of our sites and to get there I had to drive (on the road of course) through our penguin colony. This particular species of penguin burrows underground and stays hidden in their burrow during the day, and comes out at night when birds of prey and other potential predators have gone to sleep. As I'm driving out to the site I realise the parking lot up ahead is full and people have started parking up and down the road. And that's when I see a giant SUV pull off the road, drive between the bollards and into the penguin colony. I pull over as what seems like 20 non-English speaking tourists start to pile out of the vehicle and take selfies with the ocean backdrop. Staying as calm as possible and using sign language I point out the no entry signs of the bollards they drove past, the burrows they have just collapsed, inform them they may have killed penguins, and to get their f*****g vehicle out of the f*****g colony.
Once I got them out of there I started digging out the collapsed burrows to check for penguins. The first four were luckily empty but the last one had a breeding pair. I get the girl out, check her over for injuries, and having no where else to put her I follow protocol and tuck her under my left arm against my side. I get the boy out and put him in the same position on the right side and start to check him over. Remember how I said I was pregnant? Well normally, you hold a penguin down low almost on your hip, but because of my round tummy I was holding him more at the bottom of my ribcage. So when I turned my head to start my health check, the b*****d reached up and grabbed my top lip with his beak and ripped straight through the middle.
It was about this time that the tourists walking along the road realised this ranger was holding onto two penguins. I had five or six tourists sprint through the colony towards me and start snapping pictures. While at the same time potentially collapsing more burrows. If any internet sleuths stumble across a picture of a heavily pregnant, pissed off looking ranger, holding two penguins with blood pouring down her face let me know. I've been waiting for that picture to show up for 3 years and haven't found it yet.
Happy ending, I chased away the photographers, popped the two uninjured penguins in a nearby unoccupied burrow, and radioed for back up to help with the parking situation. My lip healed without a scar, and both penguins left the following morning for a well deserved day in the ocean.
TL;DR Signage is there for a reason. Rules are there for a reason. If you don't know what the reason is, doesn't mean you should break the rules.
EDITS:
Real TL;DR Tourists drove over penguin burrows. No penguins were harmed in the making of this story. Just.
Glad people seem to appreciate the work we do with these super cute (vicious, and smelly) animals. They're worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears!
I was 7 months pregnant and it was the week before I went on maternity leave. I was driving out to one of our sites and to get there I had to drive (on the road of course) through our penguin colony. This particular species of penguin burrows underground and stays hidden in their burrow during the day, and comes out at night when birds of prey and other potential predators have gone to sleep. As I'm driving out to the site I realise the parking lot up ahead is full and people have started parking up and down the road. And that's when I see a giant SUV pull off the road, drive between the bollards and into the penguin colony. I pull over as what seems like 20 non-English speaking tourists start to pile out of the vehicle and take selfies with the ocean backdrop. Staying as calm as possible and using sign language I point out the no entry signs of the bollards they drove past, the burrows they have just collapsed, inform them they may have killed penguins, and to get their f*****g vehicle out of the f*****g colony.
Once I got them out of there I started digging out the collapsed burrows to check for penguins. The first four were luckily empty but the last one had a breeding pair. I get the girl out, check her over for injuries, and having no where else to put her I follow protocol and tuck her under my left arm against my side. I get the boy out and put him in the same position on the right side and start to check him over. Remember how I said I was pregnant? Well normally, you hold a penguin down low almost on your hip, but because of my round tummy I was holding him more at the bottom of my ribcage. So when I turned my head to start my health check, the b*****d reached up and grabbed my top lip with his beak and ripped straight through the middle.
It was about this time that the tourists walking along the road realised this ranger was holding onto two penguins. I had five or six tourists sprint through the colony towards me and start snapping pictures. While at the same time potentially collapsing more burrows. If any internet sleuths stumble across a picture of a heavily pregnant, pissed off looking ranger, holding two penguins with blood pouring down her face let me know. I've been waiting for that picture to show up for 3 years and haven't found it yet.
Happy ending, I chased away the photographers, popped the two uninjured penguins in a nearby unoccupied burrow, and radioed for back up to help with the parking situation. My lip healed without a scar, and both penguins left the following morning for a well deserved day in the ocean.
TL;DR Signage is there for a reason. Rules are there for a reason. If you don't know what the reason is, doesn't mean you should break the rules.
EDITS:
Real TL;DR Tourists drove over penguin burrows. No penguins were harmed in the making of this story. Just.
Glad people seem to appreciate the work we do with these super cute (vicious, and smelly) animals. They're worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears!
43points
#12
I was working on a tourist island in Australia when this man pulled out almost all the back feathers of a peacock because he wanted to keep one. He sneaked up behind it, and grabbed a huge handful and yanked them all out. He was immediately escorted off the island. The peacock had a huge bare patch and most of its beautiful feathers were gone :(.
38points
#13
When I was in Paris I witnessed two older American women aggressively trying to force a store clerk to accept US dollar bills. She was like, "Just go to the kiosk down the street, they will change these bills for you and I'll be happy to sell you what you want." They were like, "This is GOOD AMERICAN MONEY."
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37points
#14
I did tours in the Canadian north as a pilot. Usually it's a C206-C207 but if you only have 2 customers I'd take the C172 (Cessna)
I took a couple on a 45min sight seeing aerial tour to end up at the next reservation to go on a 3hour walking tour
Something about them seemed a little off but I just chalked it up to nervous flyers
We landed in rather gusty conditions that kept trying to push us off the runway so I'm already annoyed
I let them exit out the passenger door and then go to retrieve their bags
I open the small cubby door at the rear to retrieve their backpacks. As I lift the first backpack the tail of the aircraft slams violently into the dirt. Not knowing what the hell happened I look up over the tail to see the woman I just flew here sitting on the tail of my air craft
Apparently she thought she could get a nice selfie sitting on the tail of my airplane
I proceeded to call her every name in the book and threw their stuff off to the side
Thankfully the tail wasn't visibly damaged but I had to fly it back wondering if I was correct
It held
F*****g tourists.
I took a couple on a 45min sight seeing aerial tour to end up at the next reservation to go on a 3hour walking tour
Something about them seemed a little off but I just chalked it up to nervous flyers
We landed in rather gusty conditions that kept trying to push us off the runway so I'm already annoyed
I let them exit out the passenger door and then go to retrieve their bags
I open the small cubby door at the rear to retrieve their backpacks. As I lift the first backpack the tail of the aircraft slams violently into the dirt. Not knowing what the hell happened I look up over the tail to see the woman I just flew here sitting on the tail of my air craft
Apparently she thought she could get a nice selfie sitting on the tail of my airplane
I proceeded to call her every name in the book and threw their stuff off to the side
Thankfully the tail wasn't visibly damaged but I had to fly it back wondering if I was correct
It held
F*****g tourists.
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36points
#15
Not a tour guide per se (Park Interpreter), but once had a lady with a thick New York accent try and pet a black bear.
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35points
#16
I’m a bush pilot in Alaska and occasionally do glacier air tours of my boss asks (I’m not a fan of doing tours)
One day I’m doing a glacier tour and had probably 7 people onboard and the dude sitting next to just looks at me and says “I’m de captain now” and yanks the plane 30 degrees to the right and then lets go and laughs saying he was just kidding.
There was yelling to follow via my mouth.
One day I’m doing a glacier tour and had probably 7 people onboard and the dude sitting next to just looks at me and says “I’m de captain now” and yanks the plane 30 degrees to the right and then lets go and laughs saying he was just kidding.
There was yelling to follow via my mouth.
35points
#17
Not me, my best friend's tour guide on an island off the Australian coast- he saw one of the tour ignore the huge signs warning people not to go to the edge of the water.
Predictably the tourist gets hit by a huge wave, swept out to sea.
I know it was the worst thing the tour guide ever saw because he and my best friend both went into the sea to rescue the tourist.
And they both died.
Funniest guy I ever met. Miss him most days.
The tourist who caused it all? Predictably he survived. Pretty sure he doesn't feel too good about the whole thing.
Predictably the tourist gets hit by a huge wave, swept out to sea.
I know it was the worst thing the tour guide ever saw because he and my best friend both went into the sea to rescue the tourist.
And they both died.
Funniest guy I ever met. Miss him most days.
The tourist who caused it all? Predictably he survived. Pretty sure he doesn't feel too good about the whole thing.
34points
#18
I used to do vineyard and garden tours for a pretty well known winery. I had a lady ask to see any merlot vines we had so I walked her over and she proceeded to dump ash all over them and yell "We love you Nana! Rest in peace!" Needless to say you are not allowed to dump human remains on food goods.
34points
#19
Was on a tour at Dachau Concentration Camp and I needed a moment to myself so I took a quiet walk through the unmarked graves (they’ve made a walking path with trees and flowers). As I’m starting to get myself under control I turn a corner on the path and stumble across two a**hats taking a piss - apparently they thought it was a great place instead of waiting until we got back to the main building.
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34points
#20
I had a guest, snorkeling try and grab the tail of a barracuda as he swam up behind it. Luckily I was able to hit the guest with a dive fin from the boat to stop him before he got ahold. If he had grabbed on, I’m sure he would have been ripped to pieces by that fish.
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33points