There are things that you simply can’t avoid in life. It’s purely unavoidable, and only a matter of time until it hits you in the face like a stray fish bolting through the air after making a very miscalculated maneuver combined with an unexpected current or wave.
One of these things is embarrassing yourself. What makes it even more of a problem is the myriad of ways that you can make a fool of yourself. And each varies in the degree of embarrassment. But, of course, Murphy’s Law will kick in and it’s definitely gonna be the rough end of the extreme. Because screw you, that’s why.
But there is also a dedicated place for laughing at your own epic mistakes along with the rest of the internet, and that is the r/TIFU, or Today I F’d Up subreddit, where one woman recently shared how she done goofed by accusing her boyfriend of cheating after finding a chat with a deleted user, but not realizing that chat was with her old account that is no more.
More Info: Reddit
Gaining access to somebody's phone can lead to a "what do I do with all this power?" situation, as they have become a key point of privacy over the years
Image credits: Ben Sutherland (not the actual image)
Meet Reddit user u/liquid-lover, who recently went to the r/TIFU community to share an embarrassing story that happened seemingly quite recently.
After a rough day at work, OP decided to do some phone scrolling as a pick-me-up. Since she did not have many of her own social media to do the scrolling, and because her fiance was blessed by the algorithmic gods, she took his phone for that. She opened up Instagram and noticed several unread messages—no surprise there, fiance doesn’t use Instagram much.
OP claimed that the two don’t snoop through each other’s phones, and neither hide anything from the other, so she clicked to see if there was perhaps something important that got left unread. And then her interest was piqued—she saw a direct message (DM) from a deleted account. And she clicked on it. And so it began.
She found a bunch of messages from some years ago that could have come off as flirty in nature. There were some pictures and memes as well. While OP thought it not incriminating, she couldn’t but ask herself who this other woman was as her heart sank. As of this moment, the two were supposed to get married in a few months, so this was definitely something they’d need to talk about beforehand.
But sometimes that power can make you do regretful things, like make a fool of yourself by not recognizing your own writing in a chat
Image credits: u/liquid-lover
Bored Panda got in touch with u/liquid-lover for an interview about the whole embarrassing misunderstanding. She explained that some hours after all of this happened, OP felt that it would have been a crime not to share the story, and TIFU felt like the right place for it. What she did not expect, though, was the amount of attention the post would get.
"The thread was about 25 messages over the course of almost 3 years. The messages weren’t of any substance—it was all memes or shared photos from random accounts, then a few reactions of either emojis or one or two words," elaborated Liquid, speculating why she didn't register that it was her in that chat.
"The majority of the messages I still don’t remember sending or receiving because doing so was just random and not at all a big deal. We don’t use social media as our main form of communication, obviously, so our messages weren’t of anything important. There would be one photo shared and maybe one response, then like six months later another interaction. So I think that’s why I didn’t remember them. We never had a conversation, just all random posts shared."
This one Redditor recently shared how she was tempted to check her fiance's chats on Instagram and found "incriminating evidence" that kinda-sorta hinted at cheating
Image credits: u/liquid-lover
Image credits: Craig Dietrich (not the actual image)
So, as her fiance was showering, she barged into the bathroom, angrily ripped open the shower curtain, and confronted him about it. And he was as surprised as she was. Neither of them understood whose messages those were. So much that there was a serious back-and-forth that didn’t really help OP not see him as a potential cheater because of course anyone would deny this, right?
The confrontation culminated in OP having another go at scrolling through the chat history, slowly but surely realizing who this other woman really was. As she scrolled over a picture of a Guinea pig, she suddenly remembered where she saw it. She realized this entire chat was between her fiance… and her.
She deleted her social media something like a year ago, and neither of them really remembered any of this. Needless to say, that was a pretty intense confrontation for the both of them that all ended in laughter and a debate as to whether the two should adopt some Guinea pigs into their home. Also, needless to say, OP was embarrassed to no end for this.
And the story got mixed feelings on Reddit. If it wasn’t an accusation that the story is an example of expository writing, then it was an accusation that OP overreacted and is a walking red flag. After some backlash from commenters, OP came out with some edits to the post clarifying certain aspects of her relationship with her fiance and the specific things that happened throughout this entire encounter.
Except, he wasn't really cheating as the deleted account he was chatting with was actually OP, but she failed to recognize herself
Image credits: u/liquid-lover
Image credits: Andy Miccone (not the actual image)
In her edits, she explained that she did apologize to the fiance for her actions and highlighted that she did not assault him. Since this was the first time she has ever faced such a situation, it took her by surprise and so the reaction was more chaotic. She also addressed their home clothing culture and how confronting him in the shower was not a breach of privacy. She assured readers that the two do have boundaries, and respect them to the fullest. But the one above was not an issue, like some commenters suggested.
OP also provided some edits to the story after a barrage of questions demanding clarifications
Image credits: u/liquid-lover
"It’s impossible to really talk to strangers on the internet. I got downvoted for virtually every comment that I left, no matter what I said. And I still don’t quite understand why? I suppose if most people literally thought I was crazy and abusive, then, yeah, they’d downvote me. But I don’t understand how anyone could come to conclusion by reading one post?," commented OP.
She continued: "In real life, it’s often hard to identify abuse of any sort in relationships. Seeing the full picture is difficult, and navigating relationships in hopes to protect yourself is challenging. It’s so complicated in reality, but Reddit likes to make it look easy. Like 'she’s abusive, he should leave her, case closed.' But that is not how life works. Deciding people are insane or their relationships are toxic creates a narrative that these things are simple, which they aren’t. I’m the only one who actually knows the full extent of my relationship (along with my fiancé obviously). So it’s not really about me."
"But seeing that thousands of people think complex situations are super simple is sort of scary to me, and it’s concerning to think about how this might impact other people on the internet. I wonder how many salvageable relationships are lost because some stranger declared it toxic, or how many people might stay with an abuser because some stranger only heard one piece of the puzzle and declared it okay based on that?!"
Despite the story leading to mixed feelings, it managed to gain over 25,000 upvotes and 50 Reddit awards, so folks definitely got the message
But there were those who understood the spirit of the story and left over 25,000 upvotes with 50+ Reddit awards on the post. Many have also come out to give advice that if they are planning on getting a Guinea pig, better get two as they are very social beings and it would help them a lot.
"My biggest takeaway is that words matter. I posted a true story in a writing form that I thought would obviously be received as satire or dramatization. I didn’t think much at all when I posted it. I also tried to make myself look as stupid and in the wrong as possible, because I didn’t think there’d be any harm in doing as since it was in TIFU. Well, I didn’t [originally] include my sincere apology, nor the fact that my 'blow up', while admittedly f@#$%d up, wasn’t actually that bad."
"I didn’t realize strangers would have no comparison. I wasn’t abusive and I didn’t assault him. But objectively, I understand I wrote my post in a way that could validate those claims. People would have no way of knowing my usual demeanor and how I treat my fiancé. But I didn’t think it through, and after it was posted I realized through commenting and editing there was no way I would be able to convince these strangers of the truth; it’d just look like I was trying to defend myself or excuse my actions."
"So I learned people on the internet don’t know me, AND I shouldn’t expect them to. I also received dozens of messages that were supportive, and equally dozens of threats. I had no way of foreseeing the outcome but wish I had thought it through. If I would’ve, I would’ve wrote my post way less dramatically and just stated the facts of what happened and been sure to clarify how I apologized and the details (like the lingerie not being me, but a model, that my fiancé sent)."
Image credits: u/liquid-lover
You can read the whole thing in context here, but before you scurry off to another one of our articles—perhaps even this other TIFU story—why not voice your thoughts and opinions about it all in the comment section below. And while you’re at it, tell us how you would have probably reacted if it caught you off guard after a hard day? Or share some Guinea pig facts!
Oh, and speaking of which, the couple decided to get two Guinea pigs in the end. OP told Bored Panda that they're in the process of researching their needs and care, and the two are excited about it. The plan for now is to wait until they move to a new home where they'll have more space to give the little critters the perfect life.