You and your partner are a team, so your leisure shouldn't come at their expense and vice versa. However, a woman who goes by Foreverexhausted1 on Mumsnet told the platform's members that she's at a loss. On the one hand, she wants her husband to have fun with friends at the bachelor party they've been planning, but on the other, she isn't a fan of the idea that she'll be alone with the kids for three days. So, she asked others for help with her dilemma.
Raising children demands sacrifice, and this mom doesn't like the fact that her husband wants to go away for three days
Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato (not the actual photo)
However, he believes she's being unreasonable
Image credits: Foreverexhausted1
Image credits: nd3000/Envato (not the actual photo)
As her story went viral, the woman clarified a few things
Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum says parents need to look out for each other so that they don't burn out
Image credits: Dreamy Fox Photography
"Three preschoolers are like 33 preschoolers, in all honesty, and I say that as a former teacher!" Vicki Broadbent told Bored Panda. The multi-award-winning TV broadcaster and woman behind the family blog Honest Mum is also raising a teen, a tween, and a toddler, and said, "Even with two parents, you're outnumbered, let alone one!"
"My advice is not to abstain from weekends away solo but to arrange for additional childcare where possible," said Broadbent, author of The Working Mom: Your Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and Home.
"That might be friends with similarly aged children or family members [willing] to help. I find having friends with their own kids over to our house is helpful as the children play with one another, relieving the pressure."
"Failing that, arranging activities in advance can be helpful, as well as cooking ahead of time and freezing meals you can reheat."
Image credits: George Dagerotip/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
To make sure that their needs are met and there's no resentment accumulating in the background, couples can create a list of childcare and household tasks and come back to it whenever they need assurance that they're comfortable with the responsibilities they each have so that both can avoid feeling weary and isolated.
"For partners who are leaving the other, try and help with as much as possible, cooking food in advance, cleaning the house before you leave, relieving as much stress as possible," Broadbent said. "Then, clean and cook again, pulling your weight on your return."
Some surveys suggest that parents have just 32 minutes to themselves every day, and with free time hard to come by, they take to hiding from their children four times a week to carve out space.
It's not unreasonable to assume that the author of the post is already spreading herself thin. While the extra few days don't sound like much in a vacuum, factor in the backlog she might be having, and they can become the difference between functioning and breaking down. The good thing is that she and her husband are still talking. Hopefully, they will find a solution that suits both of them.
But the majority of those who read the woman's story believe she should let her husband go on the trip
Some, however, think the man is being selfish
