Breakups tend to be complicated. However, continuing to live with someone you have already broken up with cranks up that difficulty to 11.
As this Redditor who’s been in this exact situation shares, it was hard. Even though he was the one wronged, he didn’t want any kind of revenge. But when an opportunity for malicious compliance presented itself, he didn’t hesitate. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Breakups are difficult as they are, and having to deal with your ex after them is very rarely a pleasant experience for either person
Image credits: Sander Sammy (not the actual photo)
This guy, whose girlfriend cheated on him, had to remain living with her for a whole month until the 1-month notice of them leaving the apartment was up
Image credits: Christian Erfurt (not the actual photo)
After moving out, he had to return to help clean up and fix some stuff in the apartment, but his ex threatened to keep the deposit if he didn't do well enough
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Crafty_Math_6293
Money was no issue to the guy, so he never showed up and told her she could keep the deposit and do it all herself
The story takes place over 5 years ago. The OP broke up with his girlfriend of 7 years, who cheated on him. To not have to pay two rents, the author had to wait until the end of their 1-month notice before moving out, meaning that they had to live together for a whole month after things had already gone sour.
A little while after finally moving out, the guy found out that he would have to return to help his ex do some repairs and cleaning on the apartment to pass the landlord’s inspection. The idea was the opposite of thrilling, but the OP decided it wouldn’t be too big and he'd help out anyway.
Just as he was about to leave to go to his old apartment, he was surprised by a text message from his ex, threatening that he'd better do an impeccable job cleaning the apartment or she would be keeping the deposit.
Since the man was earning good money working in IT, and the woman was a student, the deposit money meant much more for her than for him. She was also really not keen on cleaning, especially regarding toilets and the bathtub drain.
According to the poster, it was apparent this wasn’t a choice. So he complied. Maliciously. He simply told her she could keep the deposit and do it herself, also telling the landlord that the money should be transferred only to her.
Seeing her threat taken in a way she didn’t expect caught the woman off guard. In the comment replies, the OP said she kept messaging him, trying to change his mind. But to no avail, as his mind was already set.
The commenters agreed that this was probably the best outcome the OP could’ve chosen, as it was a small price to pay for not having to work all the while dealing with his ex. The author answered that landlords usually find a way to keep the deposit to themselves in their country. Getting that money back is more like a bonus and not really something that’s expected, so it wasn’t a big loss for him.
Image credits: Brett Jordan (not the actual photo)
To get an additional update on the story, we also reached out to u/Crafty_Math_6293 and asked him a few questions.
The OP told us he was really surprised to see so many people react to the post or that it attracted Bored Panda’s attention. “I wasn’t even sure it qualified for ‘malicious compliance’ and was thinking it’d either be downvoted to oblivion or not make much noise,” the author shares, adding that he only discovered the subreddit in question on the day of the post and didn’t consider his story to be anything more than simply funny.
When asked whether he considered doing anything else at the moment when his ex sent him that threatening message, u/Crafty_Math_6293 replied that his reaction was pretty impulsive, and he didn’t bother to overthink it. “It was the only idea I had, kind of a ‘spur of the moment thing.’”
The author also revealed that this wasn’t the last time he saw his ex, as they had to meet for paperwork and other administrative obligations left over from their life together. However, the conversation about this exact story never came up between them as the following months involved a lot more drama that was more important and not very related to what we learned in this post.
The OP decided to keep this other story for himself, but he didn’t close the door on the possibility of sharing it with the world eventually. “Maybe someday I’ll post the whole story because I find it mind-blowing, but no subreddit seems to fit,” he said, finishing his thought.
Image credits: Alicia Christin Gerald (not the actual photo)
We can only wonder what part of the story he hasn't told yet is like. However, before that time comes, there are some more topics involved in this story that are worth looking into. That’s why we decided to read more about other tales of exes cohabiting together to learn how and why that usually happens, as well as how to better deal with that.
According to Shondaland, with the rising cost of living that shows no signs of stopping, this occurrence happens more often than some might think. A survey showed that 38% of renters who broke up continued living with each other, with 61% staying for a month and 13% for up to a year. And that doesn’t even include ex-couples who actually bought their residence.
The most significant factor in this tends to be financial problems. Many people simply cannot find an affordable alternative to live in. Then there are also things like co-signed leases and something as seemingly simple as not agreeing on who should stay.
According to the article, living in such conditions usually leaves people with ambiguous loss. In other words, the people involved end up in a weird stage of limbo with their feelings pushed down instead of being let out, all because they can’t get complete closure.
But fortunately, even if you can’t move out, moving on is not impossible. It all starts with mutual respect and defining boundaries to determine how exactly this will work for you.
Then, it’s crucial to divide the home to agree on mutual and personal areas. In addition, to keep a healthy balance, it’s good to make guidelines on who should care for what in your joint home.
When the initial steps are taken, rebuilding your identity is next up. Try to separate financially and mentally, don’t be afraid to lean on your family and friends for support, freshen up your part of the home, and create a new understanding between each other of what your friendship should be like.
However, the most important part of this healing process is keeping yourself from falling back into that very same puddle. It’s worth remembering that it’s essential to avoid romantic and sexual relationship activities with each other because, while it seems obvious at first, we all have those moments of weakness.
In conclusion, this kind of situation is far from ideal, and it’s highly doubtful that anyone would ever really prefer it, but there’s not always a better option. Unfortunately, just like in OP’s story, not all people in situations like this are up for playing it nice. But if there’s enough communication, effort, and mutual understanding, it’s not impossible to heal and make even these conditions work until there is a possibility to separate completely.
How do you feel about this story? Have you ever had any similar situations? Why don’t you drop down below and share your thoughts with us?!
The commenters agreed that the author handled the situation perfectly, as his time and mental health were a lot more important than money
