36 People Share What Their Therapists Said That Opened Their Eyes

"maybe the reason it's so hard to believe your significant other loves you is because it's the first time in your life you've ever experienced unconditional love"

That child that was never loved or acknowledged is still waiting, not on your parents but on you. You are her parent now. Will you ignore her, not love her, not value her, and not find her worthy as well? You decide if she thrives or survives. Your parents let her down. Will you do the same?

“When you stop making yourself small, some people will no longer fit in your life.”

When you get married, realize that you’re marrying multiple people. Who you are and who your spouse is today isn’t going to be who they are 10-15 years from now.

Changed the way I view a lot of discussions with my partner ever since.

I was telling my psychiatrist about my worries and fears that kept me up at night for the past several years.

Psych :
When did these thoughts begin?

Me:
“Probably for the past 15 years”

Psych:
“And in 15 years of sleepless nights, how many of these things have actually occurred and you had to take care of them?”

Me: “Not a single one”

Psych: “Then why not wait to deal with it when it actually happens?”

The simplicity of that statement was almost childish, but it really made me realize that I was worrying for no reason and I was able to stop that behavior.

For me, it was a time I was talking about how self-conscious I was when dating and what that other person thought of me. She told me "You're so focused on whether that person would like you, that you don't even realize if you even like them back".

"Of course you're anxious. You're an introvert, and a natural leader. They're not mutually exclusive."

Effing nailed the root of my problem. I'd worked so long in sales learning to be chatty I forgot how much I like being alone.

“Your self confidence will fluctuate day to day, maybe even minute to minute. That’s transient. But what doesn’t fluctuate is your knowledge, your training, your intelligence and intellect. Those things stay consistent and improve with time. Don’t put too much stock in your self confidence being a measure of how competent you are. Trust in the other things that are consistent and concrete.”

I recently turned 37. About 2 years ago, I started therapy for one reason, but we migrated to my anxiety and depression.

One day, my therapist told me about breathing techniques... which I knew about. But she had a child patient who would say, "smell the flowers... blow out the candles..." as in, breathe in through your nose and out of your mouth. It was the sweetest thing... it also makes me wonder where this little girl is now since she was in therapy at such a young age. I hope she's doing better. I never met her, just heard this one story... but I think of her often and want all the good things for her. 💜

“You’re whole life you had to fight to prove yourself to the people around you and now you’re just tired”

"unspoken expectations of others are just future resentments"

Edit: This quote suggesting that you stop expecting things from others. It just means that if you do have expectations of others it's your responsibility to make the other person aware of them.

For example. If you expect your husband to clean the dishes after you've cooked dinner but you never voice those expectations to him then eventually you will resent him for not doing it. People need to be taught how we would like them to be our friends. Then it's up to them if they want to do those things are not.

Your over functioning is allowing their under functioning. In relation to my kids and what I was asking them to do around the house. She asked me if I wanted to release adults into the world who were under functioning humans. Nope! Next day started with chores and responsibilities and everyone is happier

“They’ll get over it.” We were discussing setting boundaries, and how hard it was for me to say no. People would be mad if I said no, I told her. “So?” she said. “They’ll be mad.” When I just stared at her, not comprehending, she went on with that pearl of wisdom: they’ll get over it. I thought of all the times I’d been upset with people and had had to get over it, and realized she was right. Even the person whose anger I feared the most would get over it, in time. The first time I said no was hard. I fretted about it and the other person’s reaction for a while. It got easier, though, and now I have no trouble at all.

Let’s pretend that everyone says exactly what they mean. Don’t try to figure out the subtext. Take it at face value. Believe them.

Today my therapist spoke out loud to the “part” of me that is depression, thanked it for doing its best to keep me safe, but that it’s time for a new job now because we’re healing now. We’re working on what that job could be. Maybe reminding me to rest.

Think of past me and future me as completely different people. My decisions today don’t affect me. Because the me that makes those decisions will be gone - past me. Future me, a different person, has to live with the consequences. So treat that person with love and respect and don’t put him in bad or awkward situations.