Everyone parents a bit differently. Some are incredibly gentle, while others use tough love as their go-to tactic. We navigate raising our kids based on how our parents treated us, the society that we live in, and all of our life experiences, combined with our partner’s experiences. And because we're all just doing our best and figuring it out as we go along, we should stay open-minded to learning how to become an even better parent.
Licensed therapist Jess Stacy has recently been sharing videos on TikTok explaining things she teaches her children, along with things she chooses not to do to or with them, and some of her tips are blowing other parents' minds. Many of us cannot afford to go to therapy ourselves, so it’s wonderful when a mental health professional goes out of their way to share knowledge or insight for free.
Below, you will find some of Jess' TikToks explaining how she likes to parent, as well as an interview between her and Bored Panda and some of the replies viewers have left on her videos, so you can decide for yourself if these habits would work well for your family. Then let us know in the comments section if you plan to adopt any of these rules yourself, and if you have any parenting tips of your own to share, feel free to leave them for your fellow pandas down below as well. Then if you’re interested in checking out another piece featuring knowledge people have gained from attending therapy, we’ve got the perfect article for you to read next right here.
This therapist has recently sparked a discussion on TikTok by sharing some of her personal rules for what she won't do with her kids
Image credits: strongtherapy_js
Image credits: strongtherapy
You can hear Jess share some of her personal parenting rules right here
Because these parenting videos gained so much traction, Jess has continued sharing even more
We reached out to Jess via email to gain some more insight into these videos. First, we asked her what inspired her to start posting these TikToks in the first place. "I wanted to share my experience as a long time practicing licensed therapist who has worked with kids and adolescents," she told Bored Panda. "I also have 2 kids of my own."
We also asked her what the reactions have been like to the videos. "The reactions to this particular set of TikToks is mixed. Some parents have expressed relief in that they are already implementing these practices. Some have discovered that there are a few adjustments that they'd like to make," Jess explained. "Others have flat out rejected my concepts, perhaps because they don't wish to make any adjustments to what they're doing, or it is too confronting to look inside themselves and make these types of changes."
We also asked Jess if she thinks therapy would be beneficial for everyone to experience at some point in their life. "I think it would be amazing if everyone had the opportunity to go to therapy before becoming a parent," she told us. "We all have many things to unpack, and could all benefit from a safe person to help us work through those things, before becoming a parent."
"Many times, we carry things from our childhood, which can inform how we parent our children, for better or for worse," Jess explained. "In order to give us the healthiest framework from which to parent, it would be ideal to work through our past with a therapist in order to give our children the opportunity to develop healthy, secure attachments with us as their parents. A healthy secure attachment during childhood gives kids the best leg up on their life in the future."
As Jess notes, before starting a family might be the perfect time to begin seeing a therapist. Having kids is an extreme life change, and it can be difficult to know exactly how having kids will affect you. If you have lingering trauma or unaddressed issues from childhood, I’m sure you don’t want to pass those along to your little ones. Going to therapy can be a great way to open up and clear any skeletons out of your emotional closet to ensure that you can give your kids the best version of you.
Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling echoes Jess' sentiments on their site, saying that it’s great to seek therapy before starting a family to break the cycle of any trauma that was passed to you from your parents. And you might be surprised how beneficial speaking to a professional can be for you.
“Children take a lot out of us emotionally which is why dealing with any pending mental health stuff prior to having them is recommended. Further, it is known for mental health problems to pass from one generation to the next because of conditioning and the way we may end up nurturing our young ones,” Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling explains on their site. “Seeking therapy prior to having a baby might alert you of anything that needs to be addressed and gives you the time and space to work on it. That way, you can be a healthier and safer parent.”
Whether or not you agree with Jessica’s personal parenting philosophy, it’s never bad to get an outside perspective on parenting. After all, we should always be making informed decisions in our lives, so the way that we choose to raise our children should be no different. Let us know down below if you agree with her tips and if any in particular made you stop and think about changing your own ways. And if you’d like to check out even more of Jessica’s videos featuring insight from a licensed therapist, you can find her TikTok account right here.
Jess' videos have impacted many viewers, with some wholeheartedly agreeing and others becoming curious about the best parenting methods
And then there were some parents who became very vocal about how strongly they disagreed with Jess' ideas
