“Going Down On A Woman”: 50 Straight Guys Share The Wildest Things Labeled “Gay”

As a straight woman, I think the gayest thing straight men do IS THINK everything is gay. Like…why are you always thinking about being gay? Gay men? Gay things? Colors that are gay, seasons are gay, drinks are gay, clothes are gay? Like…….maybe YOURE GAY dude .

Eating soup. For some reason a friend of mine thinks soup is gay and I love soup.

Of course my highest rated comment is about gay soup.

I travel to work every day by public transport, including the train. One day a man of Ottoman descent spoke to me. He asked me not to show off my gayness so publicly, as it was disgusting.

I wear a brown leather bracelet on my left wrist with the name of my son (who was 2 years old at the time) engraved on it.

When I confronted him and told him he could keep his homophobic views to himself and that this was my son's name, he accused me of being xenophobic and Islamophobic.

Have a cat. My little buddy is so damn cool. Everyone loves Cosmo.

I can sew, knit and crochet. My aunt watched me as a kid and was a seamstress so I picked it up from her. I got a lot of s**t for being able to do this but whateves. Very useful skills.

When I was a kid I did ballet and I was the only boy in the class. Apparently, dancing with twenty girls and being the fastest runner in the school because of my larger-than-average leg muscles is "gaaaaayyyyyy!".

Going down on a woman. Seriously. "That's where the d**k goes!"

Fellas, is it gay to have sex with women?

I'm literally tattooing on the guy and say "ok just have Magenta and Gold then we're done" and he I s**t you not says "Magenta?! What are you, queer? Just call it pink. Dont need to have fancy names for s**t"

Like dude, I have 10 different shades of Pink in this drawer, it's kind of my whole f*****g job to know the difference lol

Also, youre the one getting permanently colored pink in this spot, and you wanna call me gay for knowing the name?!

S**t cracked me up.

My dad called me gay for eating a salad at lunch one time. I was in the first grade.

Show physical affection to a male animal. Specifically, I kissed my male cat on the top of his head.

When I was in a running club the trainer told me to close my hands to a fist while running, because else it looked gay. I still don't understand his point. Are fists heterosexual and open hands gay? And also how does that have ANYTHING to do with running?

Me and my friends were deciding which movie we wanted to check out in the theater and decided on Brokeback Mountain because the alternative looked “kinda gay”.

Mind that we knew what both movies were about and none of us at that time (or since, I hasten to add) were homophobic or intolerant, that was just the vernacular of the time. Soon as my friend said it though we just kinda looked at each other and burst out laughing, and I think that was the last time I remember any of us using the word as an insult.

Get a vasectomy. I’ve seen it making the rounds of fundamentalist influencers as well. 

Apparently having tons of unprotected worry free sex with my wife is gay. .

I used to have a job that required me to wear a suit and tie. A woman I was seeing said that it was gay that I laid them out the night before. The reason I do that is because me and mornings don’t like each other very much.


I was called gay for not grabbing and kissing a female friend of mine when she wanted me to. For the record, this was several weeks after the “I only see you as a friend and I don’t want to date you” speech. She had not updated her feelings for me to me. Apparently respecting women’s stated boundaries is gay.


Hanging out with my best friend? Two men alone together must be doing the gay to each other.


Honestly, it is exhausting sometimes.

Blasting Pink Pony Club next to some construction workers. 1 started dancing. His buddy called him a flag. He gave him the finger and kept dancing.

Was out getting drinks with a friend towards the end of pride month, the bar we went to had a special drink for pride called a "Pride-acolada" it had all kinds of fruit in it and sounded delicious so I ordered one. My friend looked at me with terror in his eyes and said "arnt you worried that people will think you are gay if you order that." I just laughed at him, told him I didn't care and no one else does either, lost a bit of respect for him in that moment.

Wiping your own a*s. "Why clean the house unless you're expecting vistors?" -_-

Some of y'all are nasty. How about i just like living in a clean house?

I'm a girl dad, so I keep a hair tie looped around my wallet. We kept getting to events (dance, soccer, gymnastics) without one, so I just keep it on me. 


I got called a f****t for doing this.

Any type of PPE on a blue collar job site.

People think getting intense sunburn and skin cancer or having their toes crushed is peak masculinity.

These are the guys in their early 30/40's that have f****d up their bodies and still try to encourage newbies to do the wrong thing.

Pee sitting down.

I was taking care of my Parkinson's addled father. Walking and falling down were a big issue. I was basically living at his house towards the end, holding his elbow everywhere he went, including many a midnight bathroom trip, standing there holding him up and holding his d**k so he could pee. I kept trying to get him to just sit down to pee so I didn't have to touch his d**k.

"NO! I'm not sitting down to take a p**s!"

"Why not?"

"That's too Fagou!".