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We had a builder who did a lot of work on our house. He worked like a machine, barely stopping and was quite brusque. Polite enough but very straight to the point. One day I was looking out of the window and he was carrying materials down the driveway when one of our neighbours cats marched down the drive and rolled over in front of him. He put all the stuff down and bent down and stroked and fussed the cat for as long as she wanted. It didn't make me fancy him but I immediately adjusted my perception of him from competent builder to competent builder + nice human being!
#3
Social psychologist, dating expert, founder, and director of The Match Lab, Daniel Rosenfeld, tells Bored Panda that attraction can be both unpredictable and predictable.
“Many things about attraction are highly predictable, like the fact that people find confidence, a sense of humor, and certain physical features appealing,” he says. “But attraction also has a wild side. People like all kinds of different things. Plus, people can’t fully control who or what they're drawn to, so moments of chemistry or allure often strike without warning.”
Even though we might consciously look for particular qualities in a partner, our feelings towards them are still highly influenced by random and subconscious factors, Rosenfeld says. “So attraction often emerges from a combination of subtle cues, hard-to-explain chemistry, and just the right timing that defies complete control or rational explanation.”
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We were curious to know why seemingly simple or strangely specific actions like cleaning or perfectly reversing into a parking spot can spark sudden attraction. “These moments catch people off guard by making them aware of qualities they didn’t realize were attractive,” he explains.
“It's that subconscious part of attraction and the role of random timing. These actions are also a glimpse of someone's everyday real life, so they're very authentic, and authenticity is attractive.
Also, watching someone do simple basic actions can make them come across as competent, conscientious, focused, or confident, all of which are traits that are appealing. Weird actions can show that someone is a little quirky, which can make them stand out in a way that’s intriguing and memorable. People like authenticity with a splash of individuality.”
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When attraction is sudden, Rosenfeld says that it can go either way—it can be fleeting or the first push toward deeper and longer-lasting connection.
“Often, these initial “sparks” provide the entry point that leads people to discover more about each other, which can grow into a more meaningful attraction over time. While some triggers may be just momentary, those that signal more enduring real qualities about a person—like their sense of humor, compassion, or unique charm—tend to stick around and deepen as two people get to know each other better.”
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I’ve never forgotten the feeling of safety
#12
P.S. I'm a lesbian!!
“Usually the unusual behaviors that trigger attraction are endearingly quirky,” concludes Rosenfeld.
“They show playfulness, individuality, and self-acceptance. For instance, someone might be overly enthusiastic about their niche hobby, like collecting rare plants or mastering Yo-Yo tricks. That can be surprisingly charming. If a quirk makes someone stand out, revealing authenticity, passion, and depth, that'll likely be attractive.”
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I can appear to be a quite stand-offish person and it can be difficult to get to know me. I'm not very good at accepting help or being the social butterfly, my humour can be a bit "off" sometimes, so I tend to get overlooked a lot or assumed to be odd or difficult. It's very attractive to me if I get "seen" and someone actually gets me, but it happens very rarely - which is good because I don't tend to have much energy for being social, but I do love to flirt and I'm surprisingly good at it, so when it does happen it's dynamite! It really doesn't matter to me what someone looks like or their social standing, either, I can recognise good looks but it's utterly meaningless to me if there's no connection.
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Years and years ago a guy I knew helped me collect furniture and take it to my new house.
He drove the van, he manhandled all the heavy stuff ON HIS OWN. I'm talking heavy brown furniture - wardrobe, chest of drawers, my SOFA! He hoiked the whole lot single handed, then drove back. It was a lot. He was also only about 5'7" or so. The wardrobe was about 7' tall! But he packed quite a punch.
I developed a raging crush on him after that, my friends all thought I'd had a blow to the head and seriously questioned my choice but that contained power was irresistible. After some relentless pursuit by me he did give in to my charms!
It fizzled out pretty quick but I was like a thing possessed at its height!
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I don't know what it's called but it always makes me feel a bit odd