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35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask

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We’re only human. You can’t expect to be perfect all the time—no matter how much you strive for that, there will always be some glaring flaws and gaps in your knowledge that you might find embarrassing. It’s best to fix what you can and embrace all the rest. Though, to be fair, that’s much easier said than done. And that’s exactly what internet users have been discussing over on the r/AskReddit subreddit.
Redditor Wijting asked people to share the things that they believe they’re doing wrong, but are too scared to ask somebody about. In a very honest thread, people opened up about all the things, big and small, that they’re either too embarrassed to ask about in real life or are simply too afraid to draw attention to because they think others would make fun of them for this. Fortunately, the friendly folks of Reddit were more than happy to offer their own advice to people.
Have a read through some of these honest posts, upvote the ones that you can personally relate to, and if you’re feeling brave enough, share what you personally think you’re doing wrong in the comment section. Maybe some Pandas will come along with some helpful advice.
One of the biggest marvels in life, at least for me, is that it's never too late to start learning something new. No matter how embarrassed we might be, no matter our age, we can accomplish great things if we put in the effort. I had a chat about what we should do to put ourselves in the best possible position to learn new things as we grow older with Age UK, a charity that helps everyone make the most of later life. Scroll down for Bored Panda’s interview with them below. I also reached out to the author of the viral thread, redditor Wijting. You can read what they had to say below as well.

#1

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
I have no idea if my lunch break is an hour or 30 minutes.
Where my office is located in my building, my boss and co-workers can’t see me leave for lunch. When I started, I just began taking hour lunches like I did at my last job. Recently, I heard a co-worker mention taking her 30 minute lunch.
I’ve been taking hour long lunches for 6 years and it’s way past the point of asking…
333points

#2

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
I feel like I’m really articulate when I’m going about my day especially over text, but as soon as I get into a verbal disagreement, it’s like my brain shuts off and I forget how to think. Like a deer in the headlights. I don’t remember it always being this way, but it’s like I struggle to accurately express myself.
284points

#3

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
I have no idea how often I should text, call or hang out with a friend to maintain a friendship. Especially long distance. I’ve lost friends over the years because I hate texting and don’t understand how often I need to keep in touch with someone. The only friends I’ve kept are the ones I can meet in person.
266points

Redditor Wijting told Bored Panda that they were inspired to create the thread because they hope that it would help them work some stuff out. "The reason why I made the thread was because I had something on my mind. I think I've been doing something wrong for a while. I was hoping the thread would give me the courage to ask the question myself. To be honest, my particular problem compared to some answers on the thread was rather small," they opened up.

I was also interested to find out whether the redditor thinks that being candid in embarrassing and awkward situations actually helps bring people closer together. "People like honesty and honesty within any type of relationship will make the bond stronger. This is a personal view though," they told Bored Panda.

#4

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
I really wish someone could supervise me during social interactions and give me real honest feedback about what I am doing wrong.
236points

#5

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Parenting. For the last 20 years.
They all appear to be functioning human beings, so we can't be too far off the mark, but I do worry we've screwed up somewhere along the line and they'll pay the price for our mistakes in the future.
186points

#6

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Flirting. Let's face it. I don't even know what the heck that is, how it works and what the difference between talking and flirting is. Funny enough, apparently that leads to me constantly flirty without wanting to be. At least, I often get told that I flirt with almost every single person I meet.
178points

According to redditor Wijting, taking small steps "to build up courage" can be a good way to admit our flaws and ask someone for some helpful advice. "Try to hint at, or try to lead with smaller questions."

Wijting shared with me that they were "taken aback" by the response their thread got. "A lot of people think they are doing things wrong that I have always taken for granted. Not knowing how to shave, for instance. These questions have made me think if I'm actually doing these things wrong myself... Some questions were rather deep, and I do hope the people that have asked them got some satisfying answers."

Meanwhile, Age UK had this to say. "We know that our thinking skills change very gradually throughout our lives, but there are things we can do to help us to stay sharp," Age UK told Bored Panda. "Evidence from the Global Council of Brain Health suggests that having a positive mental attitude, a healthy diet, taking exercise, socializing, and engaging in new activities are all linked to better thinking skills later in life."

#7

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Treating my depression.
I've been in therapy for years now, have tried various anti-depressants, made huge life changes including abstaining from alcohol, removed toxic relationships, even changing my diet. I've tried everything I can find, and, if anything, things are getting worse. It's getting to the point where tomorrow I have an appointment to find out if I have cancer, and can't decide if I will bother with treatment in the case that I do.
149points

#8

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
My finances - no idea how to properly manage my money.
146points

#9

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Life.
Like what I supposed to be doing? I have about 80 years total. So far, I’ve learned stuff, got married, and got a good job. Am I just grinding out the rest of my years?
139points

According to a representative of Age UK, it's vital that we keep our bodies and our minds in tip-top shape. The relationship between the two is well-established, so taking care of your body is bound to have a positive effect on your mind, too.

"It is clear to scientists and doctors that keeping the blood vessels and blood flow healthy is also key to maintaining your brain function as you age so what is good for the heart is good for the brain too," Age UK points out.

However, some other things that help us stay curious and willing to learn and explore new things include having a strong sense of purpose and having an active social life as well. What's more, we ought to be as realistic as possible about our own limits and plan accordingly.

#10

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
My job.
Everyone says I'm doing great and praises me for being so efficient or being ahead on my training but I feel like I'm constantly having to ask questions and do extensive research on what the f**k I'm supposed to do in specific situations.
127points

#11

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Literally just standing still. I have terrible posture.
126points

#12

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Relationships. Throughout my life I've never gotten much romantic attention, and when I do receive it, I tend to be obnoxiously clingy, which leads to being left alone again. I don't know how to break this habit, because my emotions are just strong.
110points

"Keeping active and busy and discovering new things and even making sure we stay socially active all help to keep us brighter as we get older. Setting goals and making plans gives our lives meaning and purpose, but make sure they’re realistic plans. For example, rather than saying ‘I plan to exercise for one hour every day,’ plan instead to go for a 20-minute walk, three times a week."

Finding the courage to admit that you’re doing something wrong is commendable. Being brave enough to set your ego aside and actually reach out for help is worth applauding, in my personal opinion.

Earlier, I had a chat about healthy and unhealthy ways of showing embarrassment with regards to our knowledge blindspots with Vanessa Bohns from Cornell University.

#13

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Anything related to being an adult, straight up no F**king idea what I’m doing…
108points

#14

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Standing up for myself and maintaining boundaries. I'm working on it but it's hard because I am just figuring it out (kind of) and people keep trying to push me back to being the doormat I used to be. It's so tempting to be that person again because I hate disrupting the calm, but I was just so tired.
105points

#15

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Supervising. I am put in the position, but just rely on the efficiency of my subordinates. As soon as there's someone who's lazy or a troublemaker, I've got to figure out how to approach it.
95points

"We spend a lot of time and effort presenting an ideal version of ourselves to other people. When something happens that contrasts with the image we’ve been projecting—when we say or do something that shows we actually aren’t as graceful or as smart as we’d like people to believe—we feel embarrassed," Vanessa told Bored Panda in a previous interview.

"Discovering you were wrong about something most everyone else around you has long known to be true is one of those moments. In that moment we learn, 'Wait a minute, maybe I haven’t been presenting the image of being smart or worldly that I thought I was presenting all this time,' which is embarrassing,” she noted that embarrassment comes from the contrast from what we thought was true and what reality is actually like.

#16

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Showering. I have very very long thick hair and I just kind of blast shampoo and conditioner at it. People ask me what I do to keep my hair so nice and I have no idea what to say. People seem to have such complex hair rituals and I’m here just apeing it up.
94points

#17

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
General conversation I just suck at talking to people I don't really know or don't know at all. Sometimes when I get tips for stuff I respond "yes" or "ok" or "thank you" and even that feels weird or wrong, even the action of saying "hello" feels off... It even happens with firends sometimes...
93points

#18

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Dating. Like how the f**k do you find people, that are equally interested in going out with you as you are with them. And then you somehow have to notice that they'd be interested in going out. I just don't understand it, and it sometimes makes me feel like I'll never go on one because of it
85points

However, embarrassment isn’t all that bad. In fact, it has some upsides that should have you rushing to embarrass yourself as often as you can. “One thing that’s interesting about embarrassment is that, for as much as we might experience it as painful in the moment, it’s actually very socially adaptive.”

Vanessa continued: “Being embarrassed signals to other people that you care about what they think. And that actually draws people in to you.” In short, embarrassment has painful short-term effects but very positive long-term effects. If we learn to deal with the former well, then we’ll be able to reap the latter.

#19

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
Studying. I have no idea how other people do it. When I read something I retain very little of it, so I resort to writing down what I think are important details, which is most things for me, but it takes so long and I still have to rely on my brain to remember thing by simple repetition.
81points

#20

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask
How to handle anger? I'm too embarrassed to ask
80points
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