User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 33 Best Answers

I used to go to the bar after work with coworkers. One of the managers didn't go, but a coworker kept encouraging him to come out and party. He relented and said he'd come out for one drink. At the bar, he took a sip and said "ah, I haven't had a beer in 5 months". No one else took notice of that, but it struck me. He was gone a week later after coming into work drunk and doing something inappropriate.

To anyone reading this: If someone doesn't want to drink, accept no for an answer. They might have a very good reason to say no, and pressing them on it, especially when well intentioned, might make it much harder for them to say no.

Don't be so sensitive (or something to that effect). Big warning sign that they A- don't care about your feelings, and B- can't take responsibility for their behaviour

It was just a joke. Where's your sense of humor?

“Ok fine I’m sorry happy?” That’s not an apology.

Anything that exposes poor morals. For example, "I'll just say I never got it so they send me another one."

When people show you who they really are, believe them. Love this quote.

I'm not racist but

“I’m brutally honest” or some other excuse to be an unbearable person.

Treating service staff poorly, then turning around and being disingenuous.

If they wronged you and say something like, "I'm such a terrible person, you should leave me." It's them trying to force sympathy on them instead of genuinely apologizing to you. They're not going to change if you stay.

I personally move away from people who constantly one up someone's story or experience

Positive vibes only!

“I try to be more like my kids’ friend than their mom.”

Making rude comments about homeless ppl and being rude to waitstaff

Non-apologies.

“I’m sorry you got offended by what I said.”

If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best.

When they disagree with someone, they default to attacking the person's character instead of their actions. We all do this from time to time, but with some people it's every time. The guy who messed up their order is "an idiot". Their boss is "an evil sociopath". The person on Facebook who expressed a political view that opposes theirs is "a degenerate". That new intern at work is "hopeless". In the end, the final result is that anyone they disagree with for any reason is either an inherently bad person who doesn't really merit listening to.

“I’m a nice guy” …. Sure you are. Why you gotta justify to me just show it.

When they are the victim in all of their stories.

I had a colleague who didn't really have any friends outside of work. All of her stories were about how each of her friends had stabbed her in the back at one time or another. She went travelling to Australia with 6 girls and left early because they didn't want to do the things she wanted. It was glaringly obvious that she was the issue but still tried to play the sweet victim.

There is another girl from my high school who has gained quite a few followers on social media through sharing her stories of being bullied in school for being bald. No one can remember that ever happening, she was quite popular but had lost touch with her group as you do when you move away for college. Also, she was never bald.

Red flags when people enjoy pity.

Maybe this is nitpicky but people who give nicknames or use a shortened version of your name without asking if you mind it. It's annoyed me my whole life and always seems to correlate with them not respecting more serious boundaries later on.

But you're so good at it. Aka I'll compliment you in the hope that you'll take this task off my hands.