People often say they prefer to know the truth. Honesty is one of the top-rated characteristics in a successful relationship, for example. At work, too, people want to know if they're doing a good job. One survey found that 88% of employees would want to know if their performance is poor.
But do we actually want to know the truth, even if it's a hard truth? Henry David Thoreau summarized his two years of simple living in the conclusion of Walden: "Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." So, some prefer honesty above all else.
On the other hand, as Lizzo poignantly truth hurts. These people certainly know, as they shared some wild stories of finding out something they later wished they hadn't. The stories came pouring out after one netizen asked, "What did you regret finding out?"
Bored Panda reached out to the person who asked this question, u/Jimbobsausage, and they kindly agreed to have a chat with us. Read our short conversation below!
#1
At the funeral my aunt told me that my brother was really not my brother. My parents took in the son of a family friend when I was 2 and raised him as their own. When I was 12 and he was 23, he was hit and killed by a drunk driver. I was crying and my aunt told me to stop being a whiny baby and that I have nothing to cry about because he isn't even your brother. I looked up to him and I loved him so much. I miss you Russell. No matter what, you are my brother.
Edited to let everyone know this happened 40 years ago and I am okay. The b***h is dead. She got cancer and she did suffer and I did not go to her funeral.
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218points
The inspiration for this thread came from u/Jimbobsausage's own experiences. "I started to pan over life and started to realize all the drama I've been through and what I regretted finding out that added more drama." The Redditor says that's what prompted them to ask other Redditors about the things they wished they could unlearn.
"I found out that the skin disorder I have could be caused by cancer," u/Jimbobsausage shares with us. "But I'm checking to see if that's the case." For now, the netizen hopes for the best and awaits further testing. We here at Bored Panda all wish u/Jimbobsausage gets only the best news!
#2
Triple whammy. My step mom was a raging alchoholic. My dad worked on the north slope (alaska). He was gone for 2-6weeks at a time.
She would spend the whole time he was gone absolutely plastered, and she was not fond of me living there. When I was 14 and she was p**s drunk and mad at life, she told me that my dad wasn't my real dad. That my mom was a cheating s**t and he took care of me out of pity. I called my dad after I got her to go lay down and he admitted it was true.
2 years later she killed herself by taking a ton of morphine and chugging a few fifths of vodka. I didn't think it was intentional but her sister came and handed me the suicide note where she said she was killing herself because she hated having me in her life and couldn't be with my dad without having me around. My dad didn't talk to me for 8 years after that.
I tried to go live with my mom afterward, and she said I couldn't live with her. She admitted that she was addicted to meth and couldn't support me and her habit. She died 6 years later.
Edit* for people's peace of mind, I'm in a much better place in life currently. I. I'm doing much better, and I've built myself a nice little life. While not flawless or without my own share of mistakes, I'm proud of what I've accomplished and how far I've come. Me and my dad have a much better relationship. Before my mom died, she got sober for nearly a full year. She was well enough in her recovery to meet my children before she passed and spent that year being the world's best grandma. Thank you all for the care, concern, and well wishes.
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187points
#3
That if I don’t initiate contact with my friends they would never reach out or message me ever.
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147points
The answers in the thread ranged from serious confessions about family members and dark secrets to more whimsical ones like 'Santa is not real.' u/Jimbobsausage tells us they were expecting more serious answers when they posted the thread, but they were fine with people being funny as well. "The funny ones were funny, and the serious ones were serious," they simply say.
The netizen says the most relatable answers to them were the ones about finding out something shocking about a family member when they pass away or learning that the people closest to you don't actually have your best interests at heart.
#4
My best friend growing up got cancer and died at age 27. My husband was deployed to Iraq when she died, so I basically had to deal with it all on my own.
I had taken all my vacation time from work to travel back home and lay with her in bed during her final days. She didn't leave me anything in her will, but left everything to our other best friend - which is fine by me, but weird under the circumstances. I went through YEARS of struggling with intense grief.
About 3 years after her death, my husband broke down and told me they had slept together the year prior to her death, which was 4 years after our wedding - where she was the maid of honor.
I called a couple friends to confirm, and it turns out she had nonchalantly told EVERYONE.
I don't know which I regret more - finding out that my husband slept with my dying best friend OR finding out that our "best friendship" was a complete sham.
I got over my grief real quick after that, but I feel absolutely robbed of years of what I held close as good memories.
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147points
#5
That the law protects the wrong people in the worst situations.
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128points
#6
That there are people who genuinely had a happy family. My family always fought growing up so I just assumed that everyone else's did too and then they played nice in public.
I visited my college girlfriend's family and they were genuinely happy to be around each other and were interested in how each of them were doing. I thought they were putting on a show for me since I was there... but when I asked her later about it - she seemed shocked and informed me that it was normal behavior and sure enough... each additional time i was around them it was the same.
I remember being so jealous at the time and it took me a while to reconcile that my own family was toxic.
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125points
Interestingly, this is the second thread of u/Jimbobsausage's we're featuring on Bored Panda. Previously, they asked other Redditors about the pettiest revenge that they're proud of. This time, their thread did even better, as it currently has almost 2.5k comments and over 6k upvotes.
But it doesn't look like u/Jimbobsausage is chasing any Internet clout. "It's whatever, honestly," they tell us. All in all, the Redditor is just happy that people are engaging and talking with each other in a civil way.
#7
I regret finding out that 'ADULTING' isn’t a temporary phase but a lifelong sentence with no chance of parole.
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119points
#8
My mother moved back to her home country when I was 9. I was always told she could never come back to my country due to visa/immigration issues. She confirmed last year that this was not the case and she could come back any time. I realised she chose not to. Ouch.
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114points
#9
Finding out the one i loved had someone else in his bed almost every week.
Just end things and leave, don’t cheat for months and months..
Just end things and leave, don’t cheat for months and months..
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111points
u/Jimbobsausage believes Internet spaces such as r/AskReddit can be a great outlet for people to vent their woes and frustrations. "It's better to tell your personal stories to an un-opinionated stranger, who you won't see or hear from again, than it is to those closest to you. That extends [to] family members as well," the netizen adds.
#10
At 35 I finally realized I never had parents, and to this day don’t have a support system. It’s just me out here on a big rock floating through space. I have people in my life, even a girlfriend , but nobody ever feels close to me.
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107points
#11
People will treat you better when you have money.
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105points
#12
No matter how good or kind or decent you are, people will make snap judgements about and condemn you and assume the worst of you.
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105points
#13
When my grandmother died my mom had me send her ( my grandmother's) engagement ring back to her second husband's family. She had it for 25 years, so it was a bit of a project but I did it.
When my mom passed away 2 years ago I found my grandmother's will. That ring was the only thing my grandmother had left for me. I always wondered why she left me out of her will because we were so close.
101points
#14
That the stench we’ve been smelling on my block in the middle of 100-degree weather was not in fact a possum, but rather, my neighbor- dead in his backyard for over a week.
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99points
#15
That some parents do not love their children. That hurt me.
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97points
#16
Over heard my best friend being asked why they let me hang around them. Their answer was it was out of pity.
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96points
#17
That Jehovah Witness are a cult, was a hard pill to swallow, but no regrets leaving that life behind.
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95points
#18
The day I remembered I was a boys guinea pig..
My mother ran away from my father with a truck driver, and for the sake of anonimity, I will be calling him John.
John lived in Illinois, with his son. I was 6 years old. We stayed there for a year until I was 7, and in that timeframe my mother was the breadwinner. She worked, and he did not. This worked out because someone was always home with me.
What my mother didn’t know until she came home early one day is that I was thrown in mud. The dog she got me was tied to a telephone pole by his son to antagonize me, blame me, and I’d get beat. His son fed me cat food when I asked for cereal. John would send me to neighbors houses to steal things from them, or their lawn. I got caught stealing a turtle someone had in a box outside. When I came home, he told me to “go get it back right f*****g now.”
Point here is, for that year of my life there, I suffered abuse, neglect, and many other things. My mother came home early one day, and caught him throwing glass at me.
Fast forward to being 21, last year, I was in the car with my mother, and he became a topic. I had been in psychotherapy by now for multiple reasons, developed schizophrenia, clinical psychosis, anxiety, you name it, my father, r*pe, sexual assault, my d**g addiction, and alcoholism, (I am both sober from both currently.) Along in this conversation my mom mentioned his son but she said son(s).
For the next part it’s important I mention that in psychotherapy, I unveiled that I was sexually abused as a child, but I never remembered, or knew who, or why.
For the next part it’s important I mention that in psychotherapy, I unveiled that I was sexually abused as a child, but I never remembered, or knew who, or why.
I was confused, and she went on to remind me, and it was then that everything flooded back in a rapid unstable wave. John did have two sons. The other son SA’d me, and my brain had completely blocked him out for 15 years. I started incoherently screaming feeling this, remembering this, I almost crashed the car.
I wish she never spoke of it. I could have gone my entire life never remembering it. It now sticks with me.
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95points
#19
The secret life of rock stars. Growing up, it was nice just to see them as rock stars. Social media ruined everything.
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82points
#20
Santa is not real and my parents have real names. Been a s**t show of reveals ever since.
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81points