Whether you only want to have some fun or are holding out for a serious commitment, today's love scene comes with a whole lot of weird baggage that we, for some reason, decided is no big deal. So, Reddit user JustLittleGirl_ thought it was time for a reality check, and kicked off a conversation on the platform, asking, "What’s something people pretend is normal in modern dating, but is actually insanely toxic when you think about it?" The answers poured in, and they're as honest, frustrating, and painfully relatable as they can get.
#21
Not going to bed angry - majority of problems within a healthy relationship stems from overstimulation from stress. So staying up trying to figure it out may cause more mental torment versus sleeping (while still holding each other and saying I love you) and waking up feeling refreshed enough to speak .
23points
#22
Expecting s*x on the first date and swiping left on anyone who's not willing to put out immediately. Pressures people into feeling like they have to do it even if they don't want to.
23points
#23
“The chase”
If you’re having to chase someone, you’re not mutually attracted to each other, you’re being predatory .
If you’re having to chase someone, you’re not mutually attracted to each other, you’re being predatory .
20points
#24
Posting everything about your relationship online.
20points
#25
Treating dating as if everybody is auditioning for you instead of considering the fact that dates are equals who are also taking time out of their busy lives to get to know you.
20points
#26
Looking through each others phones.
20points
#27
Having no tolerance for imperfection.
19points
#28
Comparisons.
Stop comparing your couple, your actions, and your involvement to what you see others doing on the Internet.
Stop comparing your couple, your actions, and your involvement to what you see others doing on the Internet.
18points
#29
Making hypocritical demands.
17points
#30
Talking about exes excessively, being hung up on exes, and jumping from person to person instead of committing.
17points
#31
Putting up with your partner calling you insults during disagreements or arguments (stupid, idiot, b***h, etc), or calling your partner hyper casual and dismissive names during fights (i.e. bro).
17points
#32
Love bombing, future faking, and, push and pull behaviors.
16points
#33
Well it's seen as a red flag if you don't live on social media. I have reddit but apps like instagram and snapchat felt pointless.
Takes me out of the running for a fair amount of people.
Takes me out of the running for a fair amount of people.
16points
#34
Sending nudes or risque’ pictures to strangers. Would you walk up to a stranger on the street and strip down? No? Then why do it to a total stranger online?
16points
#35
Not being “allowed” to have opposite s*x friends. In a healthy, normal adult life, you can have friends of all identities and it shouldn’t be a problem. Getting mad at your partner for having friends is just weird.
Report
15points
#36
Maybe not “normal” but bringing or suggesting to bring another person into the relationship.
Even worse if you have kids. I’ve known 2 couples who have done this. Both couples are divorced now.
Even worse if you have kids. I’ve known 2 couples who have done this. Both couples are divorced now.
14points
#37
Sharing social media passwords. Ew no. Your account is *YOURS* for a reason.
Report
13points
#38
Following the toxic advice of 'in order to get over someone you need to get under someone else'.
Report
12points
#39
Being completely disingenuous from the get go.
11points
#40
The pressure to get married. I can think of many great reasons a couple may wait 10 years to get married, but very few good reasons to have a 2 year dating to married turnaround. .
11points
