"No One Wants To Admit It": 50 Things Basically Everyone Does But Pretend Not To

Look up words that people use because we don't know the meaning even though we pretend to when they are talking.

Have anxiety after social events.

"Was I weird?"

"Did they like me?"

"Did I look well enough?"

We all do this. Your friends don't hate you. They are just as worried about you hating them as you are of them. A healthy person doesn't sit and think about how much they hate a person they either just saw or met. Your real friends won't care about the things you think they hate you for (acting weird, saying something awkwardly, second hand embarassment). Just breathe. You are loved, even if it's just by yourself. You are loved.

Kids hide their profanity from Adults, and Adults hide their profanity from Kids. Because both sides must maintain the illusion that the other side doesn't know that they know profanity.

Trying to fart carefully so that it doesn't make too loud of a sound.

Apologize to inanimate objects

Fart in public.

I was at Home Depot a few months back and I was walking down an aisle and another dude was walking down that same aisle towards me. When he realized I would be walking where he just was his exact words were, “I bout just s**t my pants right over there, maybe give it a minute before you head that way”…

I’ve never been so appreciative towards a complete stranger. That’s real looking out for your fellow man right there! We’ve all been out and unknowingly walked through someone else’s fart… or had someone else walk through ours…

Edit: Wow! After reading y’all’s comments- everything from husbands/wives busting a*s in a grocery store line and one leaving the innocent spouse to take the heat, to teachers purposely crop dusting students who are acting a fool, I’ve realized y’all are some sick and twisted individuals…and I love it and I’m pretty sure some of you are evil geniuses.

To those of you who have commented how gross we are and that you have never popped one off in public- let me apologize one behalf of all of us filthy mcnasty’s.

And lastly, to all of you who have fallen victim to the errant air biscuit and have suffered trauma because of it- I’m pretty sure this is where some of y’all’s origin stories begin… Please remember that there are good people like my Home Depot homie who are doing gods work trying to prevent people from the awful experience of unknowingly walking through and tasting someone else’s brand…

Simply put- y’all are awesome!

Look at the bowl after we poop.

Imagining how you would kill someone but you realise it's far too much effort

Tell small lies. Particularly to make us and others feel better.

day dreaming about kissing/cuddling with someone. No one admits to it cause it sounds weird as hell, but we've all done it and likely most of us still do it.

Thinking about embarrassing moments

Convincing yourself in your head that everyone around you is doing things perfectly and at full efficiency and expect the same of the people around them.

No? Just me?

Leave clean towels/clothes in the laundry basket for days and putting off folding them.

Incoming call. First thought: *oh why in the heck is this person calling me..*

Answer: "Hey George! So glad you called..."

Judge other people.

Talk to our pets and imagine their responses.

My papaw always said there's two people in this world. People who pee in the shower, and liars.

I don't know if we all do it, but open a card and pretend not to see cash fall out while reading the card. Haha

Smell our own body odor

Deliberately delay responses to text messages and e-mails, even though it would be convenient to reply.