30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why

Ok. I read through the other answers and am going to give this my two cents, even tough I am the child and not the parent.

This has come up after many years in therapy, mostly classical psychoanalysis.

My mother does not like me because she never got attached to me at birth. A year before my twin sister and I were born, our parents had triplets who all died after a few days. Untreated trauma followed. I was born nearly suffocated and poorly, so my mother, wanting to protect herself from more trauma, never attached to me. She did however to my twin sister who was born healthy and thrived.

Years went by and this initial lack of attached turned into resentment or dislike during my childhood because by the time we were eight years old, our parents were divorced, and I physically resembled my dead-beat father. This only worsened during my teenage years as I was beginning to act up years of neglect and became depressed. She disliked the signs of her own doing neglectful parenting and lack of love in me. I remind her of that.

Ever since we have pretended to get along, but the relationship is never really there. I am a mother of two myself now and have taken all of this on board trying to do better. I am also trying to understand her. That ultimately this was not her fault.

Dear God, where do I start?

Mine is a lying, manipulative user who sucks up every amount of goodwill and charity from people before she turns on them. She is either unwilling or incapable of doing ANYTHING for herself, yet she treats every functioning adult as if they're stupid and have no idea what they're talking about. She lives for instant gratification and is unable to see more than about ten seconds in the future. When that complete lack of motivation and foresight ends up with entirely predictable consequences, she blames everyone around her for conspiring against her.

She got pregnant right after graduating high school and moving out. Upon delivery, she wanted nothing to do with the baby. My wife and I were the ones who took it home from the hospital and have been raising it. Our daughter treats her own child like a plaything and only sees it rarely to show off for people. Otherwise, she's not around.

She recently started a fairly long stint in jail. My wife has been sending her about $50 a week for phone calls and commissary. We found out she's been collecting similar amounts from lots of other people, claiming nobody has been helping her.

I dont dislike my kids, but I really do hate the life i have. People say the kids don’t need to change your way of living. But they do. They really do. Everything gets more expensive, you can’t be spontaneous in the same way as before kids etc. There are so much things that are so much harder to do now and I feel so trapped and lonely.

While my problems aren't as serious as some of yours, I do resent my son. I fell pregnant when I while taking birth control. My husband and I had sworn that we wouldn't have kids, but kept this baby. He fell ill when he was a baby, and it ended costing thousands in bills and caused a lifetime of developmental problems. We treat him as if he is normal, don't tell him why he goes to his therapies, and to anyone who meets him they have no idea that there is anything wrong.

He has put a great strain on what was once a very good relationship. My husband and I were together for 4 years before having him. We rarely fought. After having him, we fight all the time. My husband works long hours to try and pay off all of the medical bills, which leaves me to basically be a single parent. We don't speak to my in laws because they tried to use my son as a pawn to make my husband hate me.

I love my son. I bust my a*s trying to give him a normal life. But I hate what he has done to the relationship I had with my husband. I hate the stress that his illnesses have put on my life.

My ex had a severely autistic brother. Non verbal except for humming which he would do 24/7. My ex liked to pretend her parents loved her brother but it was super obvious they divorced because of him. They fought tooth and nail on who would keep their normal daughter and who would keep their autistic son. They both wanted her.

I realized it recently, in therapy.

It's not really them, per se. I realized about myself that I dislike children, period. That said, the presence of my kids in my life 24/7 has led to a great deal of resentment under the surface that I am now finally in touch with, which means now I'm also trying to deal with the guilt of feeling this way about the people I brought into this world.

I want - desperately - to be able to get in my car and drive to Alaska back just because I can. But I can't. I want to be able to have something called a "quiet weekend", assuming there is such a thing. I want to have money in the bank, better prospects for career advancement, the ability to take a risk like starting my own business. But I can't. I need the stable paycheck so that I can keep food on the table for the people in my house who took my wife away from me.

Meanwhile, my oldest is consistently lying to my face, my oldest two are constantly at war with each other over stupid shit, my third is special needs, I've got two in diapers, and this was all stuff that my wife and I walked into thinking it would be wonderful.

Worst of all: for her, it is wonderful, and that makes me the bad guy for having these feelings, since I'm obviously just being incredibly selfish.

You know what? She's right. I do feel like the bad guy for having these feelings, and I do feel like I'm being selfish, but I can't just snap my fingers and make these feelings go away.

I'm just hoping that one day, these children will grow up and get out of my house so I can have my wife back, assuming they don't take her out first.

I love my oldest son, but I don't like him. He's a compulsive liar and a self centered narcissist.

I have two children, my eldest son was diagnosed with autism on the day my second son was born. My second son was then diagnosed with CP at nine months so it was overall a pretty sh**ty time for us. We resented our youngest for a while because we felt that if he wasn't born, then we would have been able to focus more on the eldest and his autism would have probably not as severe as it is now. But we let those feelings go some time ago. He is a wonderful younger brother and is doing very well. Our eldest son is also doing well and we can see that he has potential and it is up to us to unlock it. For us the mistake was never that we had children but rather that we were not educated/informed enough to make the right choices which could have prevented a lot of the issues we had during after pregnancy.

I love my kids dearly, but there are definitely times I don't like them in the moment. My son has ADHD and maybe a bit on the aspie spectrum (never been evaluated for it but there's things that make me suspicious) and there are some times when he is ridiculously loud, invasive, obnoxious, disrespectful, etc. and seems literally incapable of stopping himself from doing it, or noticing that he's been asked to knock it off, or applying anything he's been told to the next time a similar situation comes up to not get in trouble again for the exact same thing. Then he acts like we're being unreasonable if we get upset or impose consequences for things like continuing to repeat the same loud, inappropriate statement after being clearly told to stop multiple times.

I know he wants to be a good person and cares about others for the most part, but when it comes to actually implementing these things, sometimes he just can't, and between just being annoyed and frustrated with him and feeling at fault for whatever imaginary failing must have existed in my parenting (or more likely his bio dad's genetics) to make him like this, there are times I can hardly stand him.

Still, I'm his mom and I love him and I'm never going to give up on him unless absolutely necessary to prevent harm to myself or my other kids, if he ever gets as bad as his father was about certain things. As more people get vaccinated and we are closer to the "end" of the pandemic, I'm going to start looking for a therapist with some experience with these things.

I live and breathe sports and activity. His mother was a personal trainer and I was a gym rat, our first date was on a climbing wall. We got married in a canoe. We took trips all around the world. We lived life like a travel brochure.

Our son was born with cerebral palsy and AMC, which basically means the joints in his arms and legs are locked up and will never move or develop. He will never walk or stand, he has limited use of his arms. We will never go fishing, canoeing or hike together. Everything that was so important to his mother and I's lives before him will never mean anything to him. In every way he is so unlike me that I struggle to relate to him at all. When he was born we both were in shock. He got rsv at 4 months and ended up in the picu. He wasn't expected to survive. Honestly? His mother and I discussed it and quietly agreed that it would be best that way. We stopped visiting. He's 11 now.

Mentally, he's above average. He gets As in a competitive private school. He competes in math and spelling bees. I hated school. He is cheerful, kind to animals and unfailingly polite. I was a sarcastic, rude little s**t who butted heads with everyone. For some reason he's still intent on impressing his parents, though I've rarely encouraged him. Despite all his wonderful traits I still try to avoid seeing him because it makes me feel guilty, depressed and disappointed, and I feel like s**t about that because all his accomplishments tell me is how much I should love him. Anyone else would be thrilled, right? If not thrilled about the medical care, at least impressed with his achievements.

I work long hours so that I can provide the best medical care he needs, the best education, anything material he could ever want. And so that I can stay away from him. Because I know he knows. He tries so hard that sometimes I'm afraid it's all a front to make it easier for us to like him.