“We Have A Very Open And Honest Relationship With Our Kids”: Mom Reveals 24 Controversial Things She Allows Her Four Children To Do

After Casara, the mom of four, shared the things she allows her children to do, including swearing, a heated discussion started between parents online. So in order to find out an expert’s opinion about this controversial subject, Bored Panda spoke with Anisa Lewis, a positive parenting and life coach who shared some interesting insights about it.

“As parents, we are our child’s first role models and they take a lot of their cues about the world from us. Each family is different and what would work for one family is not going to be appropriate for another,” Lewis explained.

The parenting coach continued: “What I respected in the video of the mum is that she did allow her children to swear but there were boundaries and rules in place about when they could and they couldn’t, which is important.” Lewis added that “They had obviously taken the time to talk to their 4 children and were there to answer questions that they might have.”

Meanwhile, in Lewis’ family, she says, they ‘try’ not to swear in front of their teen but we are all human and it does happen. “If she doesn’t hear the language from us, she is certainly going to pick it up in school and when out in the community. We can’t shield her from this language but we can educate her on word meaning, when to use the language and the similarity with the family in the video is that we have discussed as a family what works for us and what we accept and don’t accept, we have boundaries that are right for our family,” Lewis explained.

As a parenting coach, Lewis argues, she respects where each of her clients is coming from and there is no judgement. “However, children need to understand the words they are using, what they mean and this comes through education, discussions and an open relationship with their parents and carers.”

When asked about drawbacks of parents allowing their kids to swear, Lewis said that “a drawback could be that depending on the age or the maturity of the child, they may not always respect the boundaries and rules put in place around swearing or perhaps there weren’t any and they are just repeating what they have heard.”

Moreover, swearing can become a default behavior, the parenting coach argues. “It’s something that we do without thinking about it, we use the words for effect, attention and often we use them as they are on the tip of our tongue and it is easier to say it than think of an alternative.”

“Another drawback is the judgement of others and their values around the use of such words, it can also cause offense to others without meaning to,” Lewis added.

But there may be some benefits to swearing as “children are encouraged to be themselves, to express themselves.” Lewis explained that “If the boundaries are respected around swearing, then this too is a benefit in that there is respect and acknowledgement of the rules and systems of the family.”