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40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Social IssuesNOV 25, 2023

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”

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The idea of expectations seems very tame at first. It is a standard the collective hivemind adheres to and expects that nobody strays away from this norm because collective stability. That’s how societies work, right?
Well, the concept has a lot of nuance to it—nuance that isn’t all that positive as it can cause unforeseen damage to relationships, cause harm to oneself, or is just flat out toxic all around. All because someone is comfortable with pushing the boundaries for the sake of stability.
And when someone snaps and breaks, folks wonder why it happened. Because not everyone is cut out for this. And that’s fine. But some don’t see it that way.
Folks online recently tackled this issue with an AskReddit thread listing what things are not for everyone, but society acts like it is?

#1

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Social Media. Imagine being a 6th grader and having people think you’re weird if you don’t have an Instagram.
That s**t is poison. Wrecked our interpersonal skills. Ruined relationships. Perpetuated bullying into cyberspace when it used to end at the school day. Cemented embarrassment if you get recorded. The list goes on.
463points

#2

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Religion. That’s fine if you’re a believer and it brings you peace or purpose or whatever, but it’s really not for everyone.
317points

#3

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
The whole “early bird gets the worm” mentality. Society tends to glorify being a morning person and waking up at the crack of dawn, but not everyone’s wired that way. Some of us are night owls who do our best work after midnight. So, let’s remember that not everyone thrives on the same schedule, and it’s okay to be a night-loving creature in a world that often praises the early risers. After all, owls are pretty cool too!
315points

So, in the grand scheme of things, the thread did not receive a lot of upvotes, clocking in at just 3,300. What it did, however, do is generate quite a discussion. 4,900 comments later, we have loads of spot-on answers as well as talks about their respective themes and topics, giving context as to why it’s bad and why we would be better off without it.

#4

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Having children.
Connect_Office8072:
I worked for the State’s attorney in the Neglect and Abuse Division and I swear, you should need a test before you can become a parent.
ServiceCall1986:
I’m a woman who has never had that “motherly urge” and I never plan on having kids. People don’t seem to understand that can happen. It’s always “you’ll change your mind once you find the right person”.
No, my right person will feel the same as me. People want to change me, but I’ve always felt this way.
289points

#5

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Crop tops. Some of us still want the whole entire shirt damnit!
278points

#6

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Romantic relationships. So many people can't fathom the fact that I'm perfectly happy being single. I have a solid support network from my friends and family and feel perfectly content without a romantic relationship. I'm always happy for my friends who end up in good, loving relationships, but it's not something I am interested in.
223points

Answers revolved around social norms and expectations that everyone should be doing this or that. You know, things like hustle culture, social media, getting married and having kids, faith, and doing what is considered “normal” by the majority. But, at the end of the day, those are just norms and expectations. They shouldn’t be deciding factors just because... but peer pressure is a thing and it does some toxic things.

#7

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Having the most expensive extravagant wedding.
223points

#8

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Alcohol - some people can't fathom that others can't be arsed to drink it, or choose a sober lifestyle after a bad experience.
214points

#9

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Team sports. There are other ways to learn teamwork and be part of a group, such as orchestra, marching band, scouting and a lot more.
197points

You can kinda blame evolution for making social and societal pressure a thing. It’s natural for folks to strive for companionship that’s best suited for life in a given community. Societies are what has given humans an edge in survival on this planet for as long as they have. And so the very fabric of our existence depends on us sticking together in that sense. It is also that same fabric that causes pressure into staying within its norms. Sometimes, very aggressively.

#10

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Hustle/grind/climb the corporate ladder culture. I just want to do what I'm good at and enjoy my life, not kill myself getting to the top.
pumpkinpretzel:
And also, (kinda on the flip side) the idea that everyone should start their own business and be their own boss.
Not everyone can/should/wants to…
196points

#11

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Talking to toxic family members.
170points

#12

Christmas. I really don’t like Christmas, but people look at me like I have two heads if I say that out loud, like I’m not allowed to not like Christmas. Not a religious reason, I just find the holiday to be too intrusive. It insists upon itself, and everywhere you turn, Christmas gets jammed in your face, down your throat, up your a*s. It’s October 29 and my neighbor just put his Christmas lights up. They won’t come down until the end of June. Is eight months of Christmas really necessary?
151points

And just like anything that’s taken to an extreme, society too can take expectations and norms to a degree where it starts marginalizing people. And those who find themselves stuck between their own ideas and desires, and the opinion of society can end up in a spiral of stress and inadequacy. And all of this is very ironic because communities form to ensure stability and we now have folks who are destabilizing it.

#13

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Driving. Maneuvering thousands of pounds of metal at speeds that can easily kill you and other people, yet we encourage people to do it before they can vote or drink or live alone, and at least in North America you’re seen as some sort of immature freak if you can’t or don’t want to.
144points

#14

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
A 9-5 job. I'm a bartender/server and a natural night owl. I honestly think that's why I even prefer the service industry because I just feel more normal at night lol. I have my degree and did the 9-5 for about 2 years but everyone's energy all day kinda makes me nauseous 🥲 But the relentless judgment for being on a different schedule than the rest of society is constant.
141points

#15

Guns, well at least in US society.
141points

In turn, social pressures often encourage people to fit in with those around them. Again, this circles back to safety and security within a given community, the desire to change ourselves in order to stay connected with people for the greater good, i.e. survival. And while it can be a positive change, it can also turn out to be toxic as well.

#16

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Sex. Nobody should be shamed for having sex or not having sex.
onemanmelee:
Similarly, hookup culture. Not everyone glorifies the idea of "anytime with anyone, anywhere."
139points

#17

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Being extroverted and constantly craving social interactions.
Cute-Landscape7610:
this. i love being at HOME. i love my small circle of close relationships - those are the people that can be recharging for me.
i do not crave being in loud, overpopulated environments or making small talk with a bunch of strangers or distant acquaintances that i have no bond with. even being around extremely social, extroverted people that i do love dearly (my almost in laws) gets exhausting, because they nearly always have their family friends over. i just could never.
129points

#18

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Marriage.
Im_100percent_human:
I used to believe that Marriage was a societal invention that really did not serve an important purpose. I decided at one point that I never wanted to get married. My views have evolved on this as I have aged. While I still believe that marriage, as an institution, is a societal invention, but it does serve an important purpose. It provides a default legal contract that defines the sharing of property and responsibilities. While this may sound trivial, it is not. This is particularly important for couples as they age, become sick, and die. It really defines how another person can make decisions on your behalf and benefit from a shared life. If you are to couple with another person, you should marry at some point.... You really don't need to have a wedding or even tell anyone. Just do it for the sake of your partner.
125points

And, as it so happens, these evolutionary processes also lead to the fact that we’re hard-wired to respond to social pressures—to a degree where changes can quite literally be detected in the brain.

Many look at others for guidance. It’s a thing called social proof whereby a community essentially determines what’s good and what’s not based on how much they approve of it or partake in it. A certain kind of popularity.

#19

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
Interest in sports.
112points

#20

40 People Get Blatantly Honest About “What Is Not For Everyone, But Society Acts Like It Is?”
"Sucess" in our modern way of thing about it. Not everyone wants or can handle being extremely wealthy, famous, or powerful. Some of us just want our slice of a good life and live it.
105points
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