35 Obese People Share The Things A Non-Obese Person Would Never Understand

Having to face the dilemma of choosing the perfect outfit every time you leave the house.

A lot of obese people are incredibly self-conscious about their bodies, and will wear more/bigger clothes to feel more comfortable.

This makes you overanalyse the weather and stuff. Layering wrong is gonna make you too hot or too cold later on.

Just because we are obese doesn’t mean we can’t do physical activity. People don’t have to act surprised that we can indeed participate. I’ve heard this from people when I’ve gone to play soccer or any other sport. I am not the fittest guy playing, but it doesn’t mean that I’m going to die if I run around for a bit.

I have been heavy and light and back again several times (which takes a massive toll on the body on its own, but there you go). I have always mentally been obese, in terms of the space I think I take up in the world. Even at my lightest, which was about ten pounds north of my "ideal weight", I would still check every chair to make sure it's not rickety, still turn sideways to get between things when I didn't need to, still eyeball things like amusement park rides and theater seats because I thought I wouldn't fit comfortably. Obesity has a huge impact on the body, but also on the mind. It's why they say things to men like, "Find a fat girl to have sex with, she'll be grateful."

It's also a little bit of armor though. If anyone is going to make fun of me, it's going to be for one thing. Being fat. No other insecurities ever get picked on. I'm seen as only being one thing, so I've gotten pretty okay with people pointing it out.

How inhuman you feel being obese and how painfully aware of that you are when out in public by the up and down glances from people. The coldness, shortness, and avoidance. Also, unsolicited dieting advice/assumptions after mentioning that you're making lifestyle changes. I've researched fitness/health and read tons on obesity/metabolic dysfunction. Watched all the TEDTalks and youtube gurus. Went vegan, keto, did juicing, and fasting. Got blood tests and seen doctors/specialists/dieticians. I know a lot, I'm always learning. I've lost over a hundred pounds since December. Yet people will chime in. Just cut out soda! Just eat less and move more (duh). Try keto, try bariatric procedures, etc. I never drank soda, always been a hydrohomie, also seltzer and herbal tea lover. So I really hate when people assume I slurp down a pallet of 2L sodas daily. I always preferred to eat my calories, not drink them. I do eat less now and move more; my sedentary obesity stemmed from unhealed trauma throughout childhood. Bad coping habit of binge eating. Severe agoraphobia, have spent years being housebound. Former suicide attempts and a toxic relationship. I'm well aware of what my mentality was to be so unhealthy by being so fat. I needed to face that first, and I finally have. I don't expect people to know or care to know any of that. I hated myself far more than anyone ever could anyway.

I ask thin people if they eat until they are satisfied. Most answer honestly "yes". I then ask if they have eaten but don't feel satisfied yet, do they eat more. Most answer "yes". Fat people do the same, but the amounts are different. "Just eat less" is easy to say when eating less satisfies you.

How you become expected to be the garbage disposal. "Oh, hey, there's leftover cake from (coworker's) birthday thing. We'll take it to (fat coworker), they'll eat it."

Or the last donut or whatever. And then they get all upset when we say no and are like "it'll go to waste!" because I'm already fat so what does it matter, right?

I dropped a lot of weight before and family or friend reunions go one of three ways: 1) the person tells you look great and they ask what you did, 2) they’ll tell you look so much better and healthier because they were concerned about you. However, the surprising one is 3) they’ll insult or complain about the heavier you like it was a completely different person.

And #3 isn’t coming from people you normally have contentious relationships with or people you have tough love/hard joking relationships with. You expect jokes from those people. It’s surprisingly comes from the people you were very close to, sometimes ones you never hear speak badly of anyone. The hardest I’ve heard was, “I’m surprised we were even friends.” On a similar note, a friend found out I was much heavier before I met her and she said, “We wouldn’t have even been friends!”

It’s those comments that stick with you. Even more than the insults from when you were heavier. It’s harder because it validates the insecurities you had about your weight, how people perceive you, and how conditional some of your seemingly closest relationships actually are. Thanks to depression and quarantine, I’ve put some of that weight back on and those remarks still come to mind when I’m feeling insecure.

How much advice people try to give you. Why eating an apple is so much healthier than eating a cookie. Or why it's so dangerous to be overweight. I know you are worried and I appreciate it, and I really do know these things. I'm really trying to keep up with you, but I can't run a mile every day. I can walk at my own pace and cut out the things that I can, but it's not working for me the way that it used to. 

When you’re fat but people like you, they will divorce your fatness from your character, but they’ll still talk negatively about fat people in front of you (simply because of their fatness) and you just sort of sit there like 😀.

As a former obese person, having to pull down your tshirt/shirt to prevent it from lifting up. My non-obese self has well fitting clothes and I still subconsciously pull my tshirt down.

That and the glaring looks that you get when you stand in food lines at buffets or at airports. .

Being invisible.

Also, that you are assumed guilty for anything (not just related to food) just cuz you're overweight. Fat people, especially women, have a far higher guilty verdict in all US courts.

Yes, I get that it's ironic that one can be invisible until someone needs to attribute blame.

The fact that sometimes we like to treat ourselves when eating out, the amount of times I've gotten looks and comments when getting some nice food. Or the issues that can happen with the body after losing significant weight, for example loose skin. Love having to deal with using strong antimicrobial cleaners every day or risk skin infections.

I used to be obese. The worst thing for me was how people looked at me. I’d try to make friends and the first thing they would do is look at me in disgust.

I am in pretty good shape but i used to be obese. I was almost 300 pounds at one point. 

One can't expect others to embrace obese persons with the same level of attraction or positive affect as typical persons. However, one thing that everyone should understand is that people usually become overweight because they have an emotional relationship to food.

Their dietary habits consist of irregular eating and eating as a form of meditation. It feels incredibly calming and enthralling at times to gorge yourself on food. Every thrust of your tongue and crunch of your teeth becomes enjoyable and almost addictive. Think of a bodybuilder honing and focusing on the pump their biceps get or the moment when they're in the middle of contracting a huge weight and feeling the stretch and bodily stress of that contraction. Every part of that lifestyle deeply enmeshed within your psyche and the best part of it is that it's a lot easier than everything else that life throws at you. .

How it feels when the wii fit lady says, "That's obese" in her cheery a*s voice.