50 Things Men Do That Women Say Decide If They Can Trust Them Or Not

I used to live in a city where a good chunk of people, myself included, got around via walking and public transit. I went on a lunch date and the guy kept insisting on walking me home. I get that maybe he thought that was the chivalrous thing to do, but that would mean this dude I had only met once, who was insisting on overriding my "no thank you", would know where I lived. I tried to say no thank you and leave and he just... followed me, repeatedly asking me where I lived. Even if you think what you're doing is romantic or chivalrous or for her safety, if you ignore her expressed no, that's going to feel unsafe.

My solution was to pretend I was taking the subway home and have him walk me to the subway station. Then I went down to the platform, waited a bit, and carefully popped my head back above ground once I thought the coast would be clear.

Bus driver who was eating his lunch by the station when I went down saw me come back up, did a double take, then looked all around before yelling "You're good girl, he's gone." THAT guy made me feel safe.

Car left the road ended up in a ditch 20 feet down, tires sitting on either side of a very large root coming out from a tree that was an inch outside the passenger door. The tree was huge.

Two truckers saw the flying car path and pulled over. They were there to help if needed.

I was extremely lucky (long drive had dozed off) and assured them I was alright but definitely unable to move the car. I would wait for morning (was 3 or 4 am) and walk to get help. Me a 20 year old 100 pound girl.

Neither driver would leave, they stayed until morning and called a wrecker to come get me. They stayed until me and the car were on the road.

Neither driver trusted the other to leave me alone.

I was too naive to understand the sacrifice or even the safety that they provided.

I had a fantastic interaction with a Domino's delivery driver recently. I usually step out on my porch when I know something's about to be delivered so my dogs don't lose their minds. When the driver saw me he said very loudly, "hi, this is Oliver approaching with a delivery from Domino's!" And he kept up a loud conversation, kind of narrating every move he made before he did it. It made me feel like he was aware that I could be uncomfortable with a man walking towards me in the dark, and he took steps to make sure that I knew he was there and that he wasn't trying to sneak up on me. That all made me feel pretty safe.

One night I got off the bus at a not-common stop behind a male passenger, and we both started walking in the same direction. After a minute he suddenly turned to me and told me the street address where he was going so that I wouldn't think he's following me. I was very touched that he thought to do that. (Turns out we were neighbors :-) I don't expect most people to have that sort of awareness but it was very thoughtful and reassuring.

I will give two examples of the same scenario both having happened to me.

Guy asked me out, I said no thank you, and he said “aw okay, worth a try, thanks for being nice about it” and never asked again, never acted inappropriately stayed cordial and friendly. I felt very safe, he took the rejection well, and moved on. He and I are still friends to this day, and his fiancé is such a lovely woman.

A different guy asked me out, I said no thank you, and he got pissy and wouldn’t take no for an answer and when I wouldn’t let up he said I was ugly anyways. Super uncomfy, and also if I was so ugly why would you be trying so hard to get me to go on a date with you?

Take no for an answer gracefully. No doesn’t need a reason to go with it, no doesn’t need to be elaborated on, and no shouldn’t need to be said more than once. Rejection sucks, but we ALL get rejected in our lives, and throwing a tantrum about it isn’t going to help you in the long run.

I had to run for cough and fever medicine for my at-the-time toddler in the middle of the night to the store. It was empty minus a few employees, and two sketchy guys who kept chuckling and starting following me down the isles. I quickly used the self checkout and tried to leave without practically running, because they were waiting in the checkout area without anything to buy but we're staring at me still being creepy and laughing to each other. I was calculating how quickly I could get to my car, whether they would overtake me first, thinking I was going to die in a s****y empty parking lot.

The only employee I had seen up front was a tall college age kid who looked bored, but being scared and panicked, I missed that he was paying attention and he stepped between as I was leaving and these two AH's were trying to follow behind. He made up some excuse of how he needed to check their receipt, even though they didn't purchase anything, and they started cursing at him but couldn't follow so I ran to my car and locked the doors and left.

I came back a few more times during the day when it was safer to thank him, but I never saw that guy again. He saved my life that night and I got to go home to my kid. My kids are grown now but I still pray and hope he's doing well because he's an amazing human being.

I'm kind of a "big scary guy" and our parking garage at work is huge, shared with other businesses, and I'm often in early or leaving late. If I see a woman walking alone I usually wait until they are in the elevators before walking over - and if I get to the elevators and there is a woman alone waiting I ask "mind if I share the elevator" or something to that effect. Never had a negative reaction and if someone ever said no I'd smile and just say "no problem.".

I had a stranger follow me into a gas station after i was done pumping gas. This middle age man overheard our conversation of me telling the man no multiple times. The stranger was trying to ask me out and the middle aged man pretended to be my uncle. He walked me back to my car after i had paid for my energy drinks, and i couldn't thank him enough. Walking women back to their cars is a very kind gesture.

I was tourist being physically blocked and harassed in the street by a person begging in a place where this sometimes happens to tourists, but this was extreme. A guy very calmly swooped in, eyeballed me and quietly said "walk that direction, now" and really rapidly distracted the man harassing me and got him to pivot so I was out of his eyeline for long enough for me turn and get away. He didn't raise his voice or escalate things, and didn't touch him, but he totally redirected him away from me. .

About 10 years ago I would run the same 7 mile route at 4:30-5:00 AM before I went to work (so, dark out). About 3 miles from home I noticed a woman in front of me running the same direction at a slightly slower pace (I was catching up). I eventually noticed her constantly looking back at me and she seemed uncomfortable so I turned and took a different route home. A couple blocks from my house I noticed the same woman, again, directly in front of me. It was awkward and I felt like I was being a creep so I started walking. She noticed me and ran ahead, turning onto my block. As I rounded the corner she was standing on the porch directly across the street from my house, frantically getting the door open.

Turns out she was my new neighbor. I introduced myself to her and her husband later that day and we talked about it. We ended up becoming friends and ran together on occasion.

That event made me acutely aware of how fortunate men are to breeze through interactions with strangers without fear. Especially when alone.

Ever since then, I try to adjust my body language or demeanor when around women who are alone (elevators and whatnot). It still makes me uncomfortable.

Being cognisant of how an unknown man can be in the middle of the night

I was walking home at 2am - backpack, dress and earphones (with nothing playing - that way I can hear what’s going on around but it’s a convenient excuse if someone tried to get my attention)

Suddenly I feel a hand on my arm. Jump back a meter and turn around

This guy also jumps back and raises his arms in “I’m not going to hurt you kind of way”

And then he apologises for bothering me and tells me that my dress has ridden up behind my bag and I was completely exposed

Poor guy was so nervous about scaring me but wanted to make sure I was safe!

It was a little gesture but when I was living in Australia and using the train with a baby in a stroller, often men I didn’t know would lift up the front of the stroller and carry it over the gap between the train and platform for me to make sure my baby got over.

I always appreciated that. I think what made it have such a memorable impact was that I was married to an a*****e ahole who would have just walked off without helping me, and I had no family and few friends there for support and nobody knew about the a***e I was going through. But seeing that there was still kindness in other men helped me see him for what he was and eventually leave him.

Guy here. Had a roommate who followed a woman to her car from the local dive bar to "make sure she was safe." Thing is he wasn't actually a bad guy. We all had to stop him and explain to him that has not Batman. He will be perceived as the threat.

I really really hate it when men physically block me or corner me to force me to listen to whatever they are trying to tell me. It happens to me at work a lot and feels like a huge power imbalance.

Once had an Uber driver, it was a share ride and the two back seats were occupied so I had to sit up front. The driver’s demeanor was so off and he looked so aggravated… yelling at traffic. When one of the passengers got out, I said I would head to the back and he said “Why? I’m not a creepy guy.”

Guys, when you say “you’re not a creepy guy” even with the correct intentions, you come off as a creepy guy and girls immediately have their guard up.

Omg, funny story; my (then 8 year old son) and I were shopping in Walmart one day. Some guy was kind of watching me, and walked down the same aisle we did. He tried to chat me up in the middle of the small appliances aisle amongst the blenders and panini makers or some s**t. My child was staring him down, then asked, loud as can be “why are you talking to my mother?!”

Dude tried to laugh and my son said “this isn’t funny!” I think the dude tried to play it off by saying “oh you have a good boy there” then ambled off. But I was cracking up.

Needless to say, my son got to pick out some cool Legos that day. And he continued the same vibe with all girls/women when he got older. (Both my sons are giants, gentle giants).

Suggesting for a first date, a guy you have never met before says: "hey lets cook dinner at my house!" or "lets do x at my house!". Absolutely the hell not.

A man hit on me while i was on the public transportation (the train) the other day. i literally couldn’t escape. when i turned him down he proceeded to go back to his seat and stare at me until i got off at my stop.
stop hitting on us in spaces where we don’t have the option to quickly leave.

Walking down the sidewalk alongside a stranger, and he shifted over so he was between me and the agitated-looking person we were approaching. Neither of us acknowledged it, but it definitely made me feel safer.

I made a woman feel unsafe....... Just wasn't thinking.

Marriott world hotel, Orlando

Young woman gets on the lift and i follow in... i had just arrived for a conference and checked in on my way to to the room

... I'm a big guy 6ft 3" 250lbs and i had a suitcase rolling with me.

She presses "6" and i think "great, my floor too!"

She glances at me, i guess expecting me to hit a floor button?..... Then it hits me, she is now scared/on alert.

Of course, the elevator didnt stop at either 1,2,3,4 or 5...

The doors open at 6 and she walks out.....

Of course she turns right towards "Rooms"... Sigh

I follow and then suddenly she stops, like she got a phone call or had to check a message.... To the point, had i not been focused may have walked into her.

I was convinced this was a stall tactic (clever actually) and continued on my way, without even a look back..... I felt bad after.