Most of us would probably like to be more open and honest with each other, but in real life, that’s often easier said than done. Online, though, people tend to be much more willing to say what’s actually on their mind.
So when one Redditor asked men what they’ve always wanted to tell women but never do, plenty of them were willing to share. Scroll down to read their answers and get a glimpse into their thoughts.
#41
That we like to watch TV without having someone chatting all the time.
6points
#42
I wish you showed me the same level of attention to my feelings that I show you.
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6points
#43
We would like to be able to be more vulnerable but you seem to like us less when we show that side.
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6points
#44
That we notice the little things you do and I really appreciate them but it feels awkward to just drop that randomly. But it’s not that men don’t want to share, it’s just that some truths feel too raw to say without overthinking.
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5points
#45
That sometimes they are, in fact, acting crazy. Not always, but sometimes.
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5points
#47
It is emotionally manipulative, or at best emotionally immature, to get upset at me because you did something that made me get upset at you.
So many grown women, either intentionally or not, create situations where it’s hard to be forthcoming about your own feelings because if the man gets upset the woman takes it personally and gets upset about that. Now I’m in a situation where I’m apologizing even though you’re the one who messed up. It’s effectively punishing me for being open with you about my feelings. It’s not healthy.
So many grown women, either intentionally or not, create situations where it’s hard to be forthcoming about your own feelings because if the man gets upset the woman takes it personally and gets upset about that. Now I’m in a situation where I’m apologizing even though you’re the one who messed up. It’s effectively punishing me for being open with you about my feelings. It’s not healthy.
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4points
#48
For me;
The reason I was taking things slow wasn’t because I wasn’t taking things seriously. It’s because I have a really bad trauma response when it comes to trusting people because of my childhood. So talking to you (partner) was difficult and every part of my body was telling me not to trust you because you’ll just hurt me like everyone else did, including my family. But you seem good enough to trust and just take the leap of faith on.
I’ve only ever gotten to the path of a relationship twice in my life, both times I was laughed off or disrespected to the point where I could feel my old panic attack kick in, for being too “slow” in the process of leading to a relationship. So as you can see my trust issues have gotten pretty extreme now, I joke that it’d probably take me a year of talking to someone to actually trust them enough to go on a first date. This genuinely messed with my head even worse because I’ve been going to therapy for 16 years for things that have happened to me and some women feel disrespected when you don’t follow a specific timeline. Which then leads to them thinking you’re playing them or not actively moving the momentum. So yeah, if you’re talking to a guy who seems nervous, shy, or ‘slow’ in momentum. There’s a chance (not always) but there’s a chance that it’s coming from a traumatic response.
I’m still hopeful I’ll find a woman/man who actually understands me because I know what I want and need in a relationship.
Edit: I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m putting women down, I’ve had plenty of really nice and respectful women in my life, although I wasn’t available at the time they completely understood and treated me so well. 🫶 thank you to all the kind hearted women out there who made me feel safe in the dating world.
The reason I was taking things slow wasn’t because I wasn’t taking things seriously. It’s because I have a really bad trauma response when it comes to trusting people because of my childhood. So talking to you (partner) was difficult and every part of my body was telling me not to trust you because you’ll just hurt me like everyone else did, including my family. But you seem good enough to trust and just take the leap of faith on.
I’ve only ever gotten to the path of a relationship twice in my life, both times I was laughed off or disrespected to the point where I could feel my old panic attack kick in, for being too “slow” in the process of leading to a relationship. So as you can see my trust issues have gotten pretty extreme now, I joke that it’d probably take me a year of talking to someone to actually trust them enough to go on a first date. This genuinely messed with my head even worse because I’ve been going to therapy for 16 years for things that have happened to me and some women feel disrespected when you don’t follow a specific timeline. Which then leads to them thinking you’re playing them or not actively moving the momentum. So yeah, if you’re talking to a guy who seems nervous, shy, or ‘slow’ in momentum. There’s a chance (not always) but there’s a chance that it’s coming from a traumatic response.
I’m still hopeful I’ll find a woman/man who actually understands me because I know what I want and need in a relationship.
Edit: I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m putting women down, I’ve had plenty of really nice and respectful women in my life, although I wasn’t available at the time they completely understood and treated me so well. 🫶 thank you to all the kind hearted women out there who made me feel safe in the dating world.
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4points
#49
We low-key love when you ask for our opinion, even if we act like it’s a hassle. Just say the word!
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4points
#51
I had a friend with really bad breath who always complained about being single. I don't think anyone had it in them to tell her.
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3points
#52
Honestly sometimes in the gym, some of you gals are hella strong, sometimes i wanna compliment but worried it’ll come off creepy.
like i have the love of my life already - but don’t want it come off weird.
like i have the love of my life already - but don’t want it come off weird.
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3points
#53
Why do you get to be upset because I'm trying to solve your problems instead of just being an ear but I can't be upset with you when I tell you mine and you just want to listen instead of helping me?
Why don't these things go both ways? Why is your point of view automatically the high ground?
Why don't these things go both ways? Why is your point of view automatically the high ground?
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3points
#54
My experience has been with women, but this goes for everyone. All the guys I know are simple creatures and logic/solution oriented (not implying they're not emotional). I'm bad at guessing games, I'm not going to know exactly what you want for your birthday, I don't like surprises, if you come to me with a problem, my first response is going to be how to solve that problem and none of that can be changed. I'm waaaay dumber than you think and the only thing on my mind is where I left off in my save file.
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3points
#55
Read bell hooks "The will to change"
Also my need to explicitely clarify boundaries alongside how i communicate with you comes because I want to ensure I am not violating your boundaries more than I am satisfying my desires and because of my in the momment concerns that come about as a result of what i recognize in your actions.
I legitimately did mean every kind thing I say because the momments we spent together represented for me finding someone who for once was as close to finding someone who could even slightly understsnd me as they could.
Also my need to explicitely clarify boundaries alongside how i communicate with you comes because I want to ensure I am not violating your boundaries more than I am satisfying my desires and because of my in the momment concerns that come about as a result of what i recognize in your actions.
I legitimately did mean every kind thing I say because the momments we spent together represented for me finding someone who for once was as close to finding someone who could even slightly understsnd me as they could.
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0points
#56
I had a coworker in my company, she does not listen fully but always intrupt between talk and she is still single. I want to tell her but i fear she might interupt again and cover her major fault and will not accept.
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0points
#57
That when we go quiet mid conversation we are not mad, we are just thinking about something completely unrelated. could be anything. sometimes it is a movie from 2003. it means nothing.
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-1point
