31 Things That Look Awesome In Movies But Are Terrible In Real Life

Being autistic. We aren’t all math geniuses destined for greatness, some of us are just lonely.

New York City apartments.

Almost all movie fights where every enemy just waits his turn.

Computer hacking.

Standing under a waterfall. It looks like a gentle shower, but in reality it's like thousands of tiny rocks pelting you from a great height.

Maybe I’m not the one to say, but… fighting? I’ve always liked the brawl scene between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth in Bridget Jones’s Diary, because they do fight like middle-aged white-collar workers—apparently they didn’t choreograph the scene, because they wanted to fight badly. At the climax of the fight, they smash through a restaurant’s front window, and instead of getting up and dusting themselves off and making a snappy Bruce Willis comeback, they wince and groan in pain—because, y’know, broken glass hurts.

I’m not writing this because I’ve been in such fights or want to, but because in the few fights I have seen in my life, they were short and graceless and un-fun and didn’t look like The Matrix at all.


Nightclubs. In movies, you can have extended conversations with girls as you dance with them, or call to them from across the floor, or interact with others. In real nightclubs, on the dance floor the music is the volume of a revved jet engine and no one can hear anything you say unless you screech it in monosyllables three times directly into their ear. If you’re a great dancer, in real nightclubs everyone does not move to the edge to cheer you and your partner on. Nightclubs are always “packed with good looking girls” in movies and on nights when you are not there, never when you are. Real nightclubs suck.

Getting out of a pool.

Owning an artisan bakery / coffee shop.

Jumping out of moving vehicles.

S*x on a sandy beach.

Car parking. There is always a free spot just out the front of the building.

Holding your breath while swimming under water a stupid amount of time.

Combat/military exercise.

You rarely see the bruises, dirt scratches, blisters or shaking muscles. And more importantly the things you can only feel: pain, thirst, fatique, ears being exposed to loud sounds, the whole mind set going nuts from these. People will make dumb decisions because their minds are so overdriven and fatigued.

When you're dragging a machine gun made out of steel, across a wet swamp, at 2.30 AM, been up for >24hrs, feeling cold and being in "auto-drive" mode carrying 30+ kg of equipment... It isn't cool at all, it's total BS.

Disclaimer: haven't been in combat, so haven't had the actual fear of death on top of all these things.

Driving long distances. There are very few unexpected shenanigans to get into on a long drive.

That jumping around a corner while shooting at stuff.

You'll hit nothing and land on your a*s making a vulnerable target.

Food fights.

Running from the cops.

Inside. No one's house or apartment looks that shiny and clean or rich. They're job could be selling aluminum cans and their home will look like an architectual magazine.

CPR. You can't wake someone up with a CPR. Even with a Cpr machine. Only the hospital can wake you up with adrenalin and stuffs. And the chances that you wake up (if you wake up) with no brain damage are very very slim.

Edit : so, I should have predicted that, but now everyone is sending me stories of people woken up by cpr. Obviously there are exeptions. I was just trying to point out that you can't expect someone to wake up from a cpr like they do in movies.

Costumes that chacaters wear, they look really cool in movies and if you wear the samething outside it's lame.