30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men

Bored Panda asked dating and relationship expert Dan to elaborate on the kinds of attitudes that are healthy in relationships, as well as whether it’s important to be on the same page in terms of respecting and understanding each other’s passions in life.

“The best attitude is true, sincere love where you honestly care about the other person and only want the best for them. However, that can only happen if the dynamic of the relationship continues to produce those feelings over time,” the expert told us.

“If the dynamic of the relationship causes one or both of them to lose their feelings of attraction and love, then it will be very difficult to behave, think or care in the same way they did in the beginning. As a result, the relationship will become stale and a breakup or divorce will almost certainly happen at some point,” he said that consistent, genuine effort has to be put into relationships to make them work.

“Unfortunately, most people don’t ever get taught how to create and maintain a mutually happy, in love and attracted relationship dynamic, so they just wing it and hope for the best, which then results in high levels of breakups and divorces,” Dan said that just hoping for the best without actively doing your best isn’t good enough.

Relationship expert Dan explained to Bored Panda that even though it’s wonderful to have the support of your partner when it comes to the things that you most care about, at the end of the day, we have to understand that this won’t be the case in every scenario.

“A man needs to be aware that his girlfriend or wife may not understand his passion project the way he does,” he pointed out that a guy’s girlfriend might simply not ‘get’ why he wants what he wants or needs what he needs.

“She may not see the importance of it, or might be annoyed with it because he has failed at it for years on end and they have bills to pay,” Dan said that some people might even start resenting their partners if their passions, projects, and goals haven’t yielded fruit (yet).

“She wants to see progress in their life and have a feeling of security about their future, rather than watching him spending years or decades fiddling around with something that isn't providing results for them as a couple now,” he noted how some women think and how they sometimes disregard what guys think is important.

However, Dan believes that even a lack of support can be a blessing in disguise. “A woman behaving like that in a relationship is often a blessing for a man. In many cases, a dissatisfied girlfriend or wife will drive a man to work harder and smarter, which can lead to the success of his passion project,” he said that some guys go the extra mile when they have something to prove to the people closest to them.

“He will have a 'must succeed' attitude, rather than only giving it a shot and seeing how it goes. That's often the difference between success and failure.”

However, that’s not to say that support isn’t important. It is! And a lack of it can be a very clear indication that the relationship might not be working as well as it should. Passion projects, large or small, can help identify weaknesses in relationships by seeing how one’s partner reacts to them.

“If a man finds that no matter how much progress he makes, she still gets annoyed and doesn’t like him working on it, he needs to start thinking about whether or not she should remain part of his life,” the expert said.

“He doesn’t need to leave her right away, though. He should make real progress on his passion project and then, if she is still dissatisfied, he should calmly and lovingly let her know that he’s not going to stop working on it and if she doesn’t like that, she is welcome to leave him.”