Men Are Sharing Things Their GFs Dislike About Themselves, But They Find Attractive (40 Answers)

We asked the author of the viral thread about her thoughts on how people can come to terms with their imperfections. According to her, it's something that slowly comes about as we grow older and (hopefully) wiser... but having a supportive partner by your side can really help boost your confidence.

"I feel like a lot of acceptance of imperfections comes with age and time. As I entered my thirties, I gained a lot more confidence in who I am and what I look like," she opened up to Bored Panda.

"Having a supportive partner who celebrates both the good and the bad absolutely helps in this regard. I think that, for many people, the responses in this post showed us that things that are commonly considered flaws, such as a crooked smile, chubby belly, or a prominent nose, can attract the right person," the author said.

"This thread unintentionally normalized all of these things and hopefully helped some people feel good about themselves."

We were curious how the author came up with the idea for the thread in the first place. She was kind enough to walk us through exactly how the idea for the question came about.

"My husband and I have recently restarted watching Modern Family. In an early episode, Gloria felt bad because people were teasing her for her accent and she became self-conscious. Jay patched it up by telling a story of how her voice and accent initially attracted him to her," she shared.

"That got my wheels turning, and I decided to ask the men of Reddit what they are attracted to that their wife/girlfriend might not necessarily love about themselves."

The topic the redditor touched upon resonated very deeply with a lot of internet users. "I think people enjoyed the topic because everyone can relate to having flaws or certain traits that make us feel self-conscious," the OP told Bored Panda.

"I was impressed by the overwhelming positivity in the majority of the posts. As a woman, it was really nice to see."

If your partner were to suddenly change some aspects of their physical appearance and behavior to be more ‘perfect,’ it would come as a complete shock. And many of these changes would be unnecessary: we love people for who they are right now, not just for their imaginary future potential.

A core aspect of loving and respecting someone is accepting them for who they are—warts and all. It’s one thing to want your partner to live a healthier life while you encourage them to pursue their dreams. It’s wanting them to be the best version of themselves. This is healthy.

It’s another thing entirely to want the other person to change their appearance and behavior almost entirely just so you can feel satisfied. This is unhealthy and suggests that there are deeper issues at work, from a desire to control everything to a lack of respect and initial attraction. 

Though most of us have probably heard about body positivity, it could be argued that it’s not the healthiest of approaches in life. Celebrating yourself all the time can be exhausting and, in some cases, it avoids tackling actual issues. Toxic positivity can be as bad as chronic negativity. Instead, body neutrality can be a better choice to lean into.

To put it simply, body neutrality is being at peace with your body. No hate. No love. Just peace. The philosophy is centered around judging oneself and others less for physical appearances and natural changes like aging. It’s more about how you feel, less about how you look, as The New York Times notes.

WebMD points out that body positivity isn’t without its critics. According to them, it’s not realistic or healthy to love your body unconditionally, at all times. This sort of over-the-top positivity can also mask your authentic feelings about who you are, what you look like, and what your body is capable of.

If you’re constantly in awe of yourself, every single moment of the day, are you being genuine? Similarly, if all you do is focus on your ‘flaws,’ are you being realistic or overly judgmental? Body neutrality is a peaceful sort of acceptance that centers on simply existing.