Telling someone to simply tough it out when things get hard is pretty unhelpful. When you’re in the middle of a metaphorical storm, what you need is straightforward, practical advice and support, not empty ‘inspirational’ platitudes.
Something that is beyond useful is having a strong social network that has your back no matter what. When you know for a fact that you can rely on your family, friends, and coworkers when things get tough, it’s far easier to be optimistic about the future. This sort of help can be anything from literal physical help and financial support to sharing experiences about solutions to specific issues.
Another major boon that your social network offers you is empathy. You should never discount the power of having folks in your life who are willing to hear you out.
Simply sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone who is actively listening to you can help you work through the stress. And, if you’re in the mood for some advice, they might have a friendly tip or two.
#9 Disclaimer: This Wasn’t Me, I Just Found It On Facebook. I Feel Horrible For The Guy
However, you shouldn’t turn these venting sessions into a regular thing. You do not want to become a person who constantly dumps all of their negative emotions on their loved ones.
Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. How would you feel if all that one of your friends did was vent and rage about how unfair life is? You’d probably start avoiding them.
Your social circle is there for emotional support and advice. But solving deep-seated issues and shifting your perspective on life is going to take months or years of work with a certified therapist.
If you find yourself always moaning and groaning and bringing the mood down when you meet your friends, you may want to consider seeking professional help.
Now, this isn’t to say that you should always be happy-go-lucky around people. That’s not what we mean. Toxic positivity can be very harmful because it means sacrificing authenticity for the sake of fitting in.
At the same time, you have to be honest about how your behavior and words make the people around you feel. Always talking about how bad things are going for you is going to strain your relationships. Try to bring the focus on your friends instead of always putting yourself in the spotlight. Hear them out, too. Don’t always be the one who’s venting.
The reality is that we all have things to be grateful for in our lives, even when things aren’t going our way. Even in the worst of times, you can find a silver lining. But you need to actively remind yourself to look for it!
You could, for example, start a gratitude journal where you list a few things you’re happy to have in your life, even if everything else is a dumpster fire. Or you could start every morning by thinking about what these glimmers of light in the darkness are.
