Admitting that you have a problem, regardless of what it is about, is always a healthy way to begin dealing with it. Unfortunately, for many different reasons, it is also never really easy to do, as most of us find denial to be a more convenient option.
It doesn’t even have to be anything incredibly serious. For example, one Redditor recently shared how her husband was making at least five toilet trips a day, each lasting no less than 20 minutes. Yet, when she suggested that he go to a doctor, he got very offended. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Denying that you have a problem might appear as an easy solution, but it creates a lot of inconveniences for you and those around you when left unaddressed
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A man was making long trips to the toilet at least five times a day, each lasting at least 20 minutes, which annoyed his wife
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
The woman got tired of having to accommodate her husband's restroom routine, among all the other things they had to do daily, and she confronted him about it
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The man refused to admit that he had a problem, saying that having as many and as lengthy bathroom trips as he had was entirely normal for how much he was eating
The OP began by cutting straight to the point, explaining how her husband would always visit the bathroom 2-3 times in the morning and at least 3 more times throughout the rest of the day, with each trip lasting at least 20 minutes, taking his phone every time he went.
The woman said she knew her husband was actually taking care of the business he said he was going for, but with it happening so often, she eventually lost her patience and told him that his toilet habits were affecting her life as they have a child and a lot of things that they need to take care of each day. She insisted that the man go see a doctor, calling the situation abnormal and suggesting that it might be IBS.
This really upset the man, who started defending himself by saying that it was completely normal to have to go as often for the amount of food that he was eating. However, the wife wouldn’t budge, so the drama didn’t get resolved.
The reactions from the commenters were a little mixed. Some completely supported the OP -- right out saying that the husband’s habits are not normal and he’s likely trying to dodge sharing responsibilities, while others blamed the woman for her harsh approach. However, everyone seemed to agree that the situation seemed like IBS or something even more serious and that the man should really get himself checked out.
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The struggle to ask for help when we actually need it is something that many, if not all, of us encounter at least sometimes. But why is this human trait so common?
Well, the explanation is actually not that complicated. According to Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries of Harvard Business Review, there are a few main reasons that can prevent us from doing it.
Some people feel the constant need to be independent, putting effort into being as self-reliant as possible, which can make asking for help feel rather uncomfortable. This also connects to the fear of giving up control, which usually comes from trust issues and the general dislike of putting yourself in the hands of others.
At the same time, there are a lot of people who would gladly ask for help but end up steering away from it due to over-empathizing with others and assuming that they would be a burden to them if they accepted, all the while fearing that they might be rejected in the first place.
And lastly, some simply fear being vulnerable, especially if they’re insecure about their issue and others’ perception of them or even feel unworthy of help, falling prey to victimhood, and instead of seeking help, pretending like everything is fine.
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However, when it comes to specific health issues like IBS, there is another reason why people are reluctant to seek help. As per an article on the Canadian Digestive Health Foundation website, this subject is surrounded by a stigma coming from the general lack of belief in the diagnosis, as well as the chronic nature of the condition itself and the lack of treatment options available.
The article quotes a study done in 2014, which found that more than half of participants with IBS felt that their family, friends, and colleagues treated them differently due to their condition, as it is not unusual for them to be accused of using it as an excuse to get out of commitments and activities they don’t want to be in.
And, of course, since openly talking about bowel movements is usually kind of a taboo, there is the embarrassment factor, which leads to people with IBS keeping quiet about their diagnosis and choosing to suffer in silence instead.
To sum it up, the OP’s husband most likely falls into one of these categories, and while his wife's words were arguably too harsh, her concern was most likely very valid and the advice was well-placed. So, in the end, it’s wise to remember that while being in denial and waiting for the problems to solve themselves might appear easier, most of the time, it only makes a matter worse and the process of fixing it a lot more tedious.
What did you think about this story? Do you think the OP was right about how she addressed the situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Most of the commenters agreed that the poster's husband's behavior was not normal, and he most likely had IBS or was trying to avoid his share of responsibilities
