One of the toughest, gut-wrenching dilemmas you might face in life is what to do when you witness a good friend of yours cheating on their long-term partner. On the one hand, you can do nothing and let the couple figure out its problems itself. On the other hand, you might feel guilty for not interfering when you have such groundbreaking information. Whatever you do, there will be fallout.
Internet user u/StrangeStory352 asked the AITAH online group to weigh in on whether she should tell her BFF’s boyfriend, the father of her children, that she cheated on him. Scroll down to read the advice people gave her, and be sure not to miss the massive update shared by the author when she finally made up her mind about what to do.
Witnessing your best friend cheating on their partner creates a nightmare dilemma for you
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A woman asked the internet for impartial advice on whether she should tell her BFF's boyfriend that she recently had an affair
Image credits: Gabriel Ponton (not the actual photo)
Image source: StrangeStory352
You should think about what an individual who was cheated on would want. Try to lead with empathy
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
It’s an incredibly sensitive decision to make, whether or not you inform someone that their significant other has cheated on them.
After all, by deciding to break the news, you are accepting some level of responsibility for what happens to the couple’s relationship. If the person is a close friend or family member, you obviously don’t want to hurt their feelings, but you also don’t want them to live a lie.
First, you should make sure that the information you have about the affair is reliable. If you’ve personally witnessed the cheating, then you know for a fact that your info is spot-on. However, if you only heard about someone being unfaithful via gossip, you’ll need to do some research so you don’t make baseless accusations.
Try to consider what the person who has been cheated on would prefer that you do. Many individuals might genuinely want to find out the bad news ASAP, even if it hurts them.
Meanwhile, take some time to think about how the person might react to the news. How you tell someone about them being cheated on is as important as the fact itself. If you’re there in person, you can support them much more directly and thoroughly than if you’re, for example, texting them.
There's no single answer for why people cheat. Often, there are numerous factors to consider
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What’s more, you may want to confront the cheater about what happened. Give them the opportunity to come clean and address the issue with their partner. This is a better alternative to the person being cheated on learning about the affair from a third party.
People cheat for various reasons. For instance, they might be unhappy and dissatisfied with their relationship, whether emotionally or in terms of (a lack of) intimacy, Verywell Mind explains.
Other primary reasons for cheating include feeling unappreciated, lacking commitment to the relationship, boredom, body issues, and revenge.
Meanwhile, some common secondary reasons for cheating include having easy access to the internet, poor boundaries, and simply having the opportunity to have an affair.
How would you have handled the situation if you were in the author’s shoes, dear Pandas? Do you think she did the right thing by confronting her friend about the affair, or should she have stayed passive? Would you prefer to know if your partner cheated on you? You can share your thoughts with all the other readers in the comments at the bottom of this post.
Most internet users thought the woman should definitely tell her friend's boyfriend about what she did
However, other readers urged the woman not to reveal anything. Still others called the author out
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)
The woman later shared an update after she decided to confront her BFF about the affair
Image source: StrangeStory352
Here's how folks reacted to the update
