Our behavior, and the actions that follow it, speak more than thousands of words. So often all you need to do is to sit back and watch people. Remember your male colleague who always uses that patronizing tone of voice when talking to you? Yes, it’s annoying, and no, he doesn’t sense it.
But what if it’s a tell-tale sign that the guy has internalized toxic masculinity? What if this is a precise indication that he feels insecure or somewhere deep down, even threatened by you? You may only speculate or see what guys have to say on the subject matter themselves.
The question “What is a tell-tale sign that a man is insecure about his masculinity or himself in general?” on r/AskMen got a bunch of people sharing what they think are the red flags. And it’s truly eye-opening!
#1
If he claims to be an “alpha male” - dude, if you have to tell people (loudly and often) that you’re alpha, you are definitely not
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#2
His view on what makes a man a man is narrow. In his mind, there are only 2-3 types of men and other types are wrong
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#4
Trying to dominate a conversation or activity for no reason/Being needlessly competitive
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#5
Always fighting to be right no matter what, even if someone obviously knows what they are talking about.
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#6
Trying to crush your hand when they shake it. Usually accompanied by fixing you with what they think is an intimidating stare.
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#7
When he's not supportive of the other men in his life. A truly masculine man loves and supports his brothers and celebrates their achievement
An insecure man brings others down to prove he's on "top"
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#9
When someone gets upset over something as silly as the way another man enjoys his comfortable clothing, takes care of their body, or the way they like their vehicles.
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#10
Aggression and violence. Many insecure men use tactics of intimidation or just plain old violence because they feel attacked by everything, cant discuss like a normal grown up, feel like it proves they are a "real man" etc.
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#11
The worst are guys who use hashtags on instagram like #realman, #realmen, #realmenhavebeards, #manly, #man, #men, #alphamale, #intelligent, #smart, etc.
I'm like dude, I've never seen a confident masculine man ever once use [things[ like that. If you have to tell the world you're a "real man", or how "intelligent" or "alpha", you are... you aren't. hahaha
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#13
When i was in the army we would definitely see people who were bullied in high school and decided to be "billy badass" and join the military then they would be teased and hazed a little as privates. But as soon as they got their own little team and a taste of power they would be the ones that made everyone's lives much more miserable than they needed to be reveling in being the tormenter.
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#15
Constantly looking for the need to brag about your wealth and physical prowess, especially on social media. I know a few dudes who define themselves by the amount of money they've made or how they're better than everyone because they practice a certain martial art
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#16
Insecure about himself: he’s middle age but constantly shares photos of himself in his “prime” such as football team, military uniform etc
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#17
People online who post cringey graphics of a lion or the joker with an equally cringe quote next to it saying something along tbe lines of "followers work for other, the alpha works for themselves" with some dollar signs next to it. Or other similar "motivational woke" posts
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#20
Definitely show offs. If you are easily insulted by things tied to lack of masculinity(secretly liking pink for example) then you have fragile masculinity. Normally the truly masculine people are those that a true people. They don't need reassurance, they show emotion and the idea of girly colours, smells etc do not exist.
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