Pregnancy news isn’t always a happy announcement, especially when it’s unexpected. One woman found herself in that exact spot and begged her sister to keep it quiet from their traditional parents until she was ready to talk.
Her sister agreed and spent the next two months covering for her. But as their mom grew more suspicious and kept pushing for answers, the pressure of lying started to wear her down. Eventually, she slipped and all but confirmed the pregnancy.
Now the family is in chaos, her sister feels betrayed, and she’s wondering if she was wrong for letting the secret come out. Read the full story below.
The woman found out she was pregnant and begged her sister not to tell their parents
Image credits: Nini FromParis (not the actual photo)
But after months of covering for her, the sister slipped up and the secret got out
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: ohboygollygeewiz
Most of us are keeping multiple secrets at any given time
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Keeping secrets is a part of the human experience. We’ve all done it at one point, and we’re probably doing it right now. According to research by psychologist and author Michael Slepian, 97% of people are keeping a significant secret at any given time, with the average person carrying about 13 secrets, five of which they’ve never told a single soul.
That might sound like a lot, but many of them you might not even be actively thinking about until they come up. A lot of people, for example, carry hidden romantic feelings for someone they’re not with. Many quietly keep things about money to themselves. It’s extremely common and, for the most part, a very natural part of life.
Interestingly, children develop the ability to keep secrets as early as age five. At that stage, hiding something from a parent might simply help avoid a scolding, but it also marks a major developmental milestone. A child now has a world of their own that others can’t fully see into.
Keeping a secret isn’t the hard part—thinking about it is
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Just because so many of us keep secrets doesn’t mean it comes easy. It can take a real toll. During adolescence, keeping secrets from parents is linked to greater feelings of autonomy but also to lower psychological and physical well-being. In adults, secrecy is similarly associated with lower well-being and poorer relationship quality.
That said, how much a secret affects you really depends on the secret itself and how you feel about it. Concealing a secret doesn’t typically require a great deal of effort on its own, says Slepian. What’s actually difficult is the ruminating, sitting alone with your thoughts and turning it over and over in your mind.
According to NY Mental Health Center, that kind of mental weight can trigger feelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame, especially when the secret is tied to something morally sensitive. Over time it can deepen feelings of loneliness and make everything feel heavier than it already is.
Things get even harder when you’re keeping the secret on behalf of someone else. If the person who confided in you shares the same social circle, you’re now carrying it for them too. And if only certain people are allowed to know, that burden can grow very quickly.
So it’s easy to understand why the woman in this story, after two months of constantly managing the pregnancy secret around her parents, eventually reached her limit. That said, the way it came out was undeniably painful for her sister, and that part is difficult to overlook.
Sometimes the best way to keep a secret is to talk about it
Image credits: Meg Aghamyan(not the actual photo)
When you’re carrying a secret, it can feel like you only have two options: reveal it or bear the burden of it forever. But there’s actually a middle ground. Ironically, you can ease the load by talking about it without actually spilling it.
On the APA podcast Speaking of Psychology, Slepian suggests confiding in a neutral third party and simply asking what they think you should do, without revealing any names or identifying details. Just having one outside perspective can make a real difference.
“It’s so helpful to just have one more perspective than your own because it’s really hard to step outside of your perspective, especially when you’re not sure what to do,” he says. “Talking to a third party is definitely what I would recommend in that situation.”
Journaling can help too, but only when used the right way. Writing just to replay what happened can pull you into your own head rather than helping you out of it. The goal is to use the page to gain a bit of distance from the situation, which is honestly much easier to do when talking it through with someone else.
It’s unfortunate the woman in this story didn’t seem to have an outlet that could have helped her carry some of that weight. Hopefully the family will find a way to work through this together. What do you think about who’s really in the wrong here?
In the comments, the author shared more details about what led up to the slip-up
Some readers felt both sisters handled it poorly
But many blamed the author for breaking her promise and betraying her sister’s trust
Others argued she wasn’t in the wrong, saying she’d been put in an impossible position
