Tell Me Your Story. I Want To Know Who You Are.

My name is Okyanus Gozde Horoz. Im from Turkey. My artist name is Ocean Waverly. I'm graduated from faculty of fine arts movie design department. Before I tell you about my work, I want to talk about the things and share some details that have made me who I am. I have a story like so many people around here, and I will try tell it without boring you. You may say 'Oh. I experienced exactly the same thing!" 'I wouldn't survive this', or 'I experienced even worse than this.’. Now, we will check the history of my work and how or where do I get my inspiration like we do just before examining a work of art. Prepare your drinks and sit back. We will go on a journey together. At the age of 2.5, I got caught to a rare sickness which was a kidney and renal failure. Even though my kidney stones extracted, they were forming again and I was uncomfortably going into surgeries because there wasn't a proper diagnose on my sickness. As you can imagine, there is no doctor left that we didn't see. And finally Salih Kavukcu diagnosed my illness. My diagnosis was: Primary hyperoxaluria. Meaning my kidney producing stones due to lack of a liver enzyme and both my kidneys and livers should have replaced at the same time. But since it was less known case in Turkey, the operation was not possible. And there were two countries that could do operation on this rare sickness; America and Germany. In the end, my disease was diagnosed and where or who could perform the surgery wasn't important for my family because they were willing to do whatever it takes. This is the part where things get emotional for me, you can guess my feelings as a daughter, sometimes I feel like I'm crushing under my emotions. Anyway, my family decided to send me to Germany for operation because my uncle was living there. After the destination was chosen, my family sold our house and car for the surgery costs. We were ready for my operation. We left the father behind and set off with my mother. This wasn't all actually the money we get from house and car was not totally covering my operation costs. But I was on cadaver call. We were waiting in Germany because when we heard news, we had to go to the hospital immediately. On the other hand, donations were collected for incomplete funds. An organization called 'Ein Herz Fur Kinder' which is affiliated to the Bild newspaper, has completed all the remaining money. About a year later finally a suitable cadaver found and I went into operation. The surgery was too risky, but medical team was awesome and luckily my operation was success. I was in come for some time when I finally wake up, I've been taken to the service. In the meantime, I wasn't able to walk, speak or move. But as my vital functions back I was more interested art. You need to keep yourself busy. I was drawing, writing and making up stories from my mind. We were drawing with my father and painting with mother. I give these details because my mother is not good at drawing, but she can fill in the lines very well. Whereas my father could create miracles out of a blank paper. All these are tiny but funny details. I can't even remember the number of coloring books we did fill with mother or the blank papers with father. We created our own small elementary family in the hospital. Then I remember myself being discharged one day. So far, everything is normal. We were back in Turkey. A few years after, I lost my new kidney because of a hospital mistake and I started dialysis again. My parents did everything within the bounds of possibility to transfer me another hospital. On the other hand, that terrible hospital didn't accept the mistake and tried to blame me for everything. Yes, me. In the end nothing matters, I was in dialysis again after years. I was just entered the puberty and reactions was different. I wasn't kid anymore, I did understand everything and sometimes even refusing some things. My education was halted. High schools didn't accept me because I was dialysis. They said hours of dialysis would interfere with my lessons and I would fail due to absence. Not any single high school accepted me so I enrolled open high school. Nothing was all right. I don't like to talk, I was just taking photos and writing. One day, we've found another kidney for me and I got another transplant operation. But this time my body didn't accept the kidney. When they told me that I should take dialysis again at 2011 when I was of age. And I remember saying "No, I don't want it" My parents couldn't do anything because they needed my will and I was so tired. I had 2 kidneys and 1 liver transplant and I had to get a 3rd kidney transplant. Meanwhile I was lucky enough to get into faculty of fine arts art and design department. But I knew if I start dialysis I wouldn't be able to catch up with the lessons like in high school. But this time I had no more strength to stand. I was very clear about refusing dialysis, my mom and dad was coming to my room and I was faking sleep. Because there's nothing to convince me. I didn't want. Just until one day my sister comes into my room. I was fake sleeping again because I thought it was my father or mother again. I realized it was my sister as she touched my hair with her little fingers and left the room "my dear sis" She was 4 years old then at that very moment, I've changed my mind, I don't care about anything no more, I wanted to get better. The next morning, I agreed to go on dialysis as I woke up. My family was crying because their daughter accepted to start dialysis. So think about this. In the meantime, College Professor Onur Cakaloz clearly stated that my dialysis won't interfere with university then showed his support and faith in me. For the second time in my life I was witnessing such a thing. I was attending my classes, going to dialysis while my family looking for another kidney. Even my 70 years old grandmother went to hospital to find out if she can give me her kidney without saying a word to us. But this time we didn't have too much time, I wouldn't get into dialysis many times because I had a bone loss and I had to transferred as soon as possible and then I get into operation called "cross" with my aunt's kidney. This is a very important detail that this surgery was too risky because I was going to get operated for the third time on the same exact kidney. Of course, I learned all these details after my operation became successful. I want to thank Hamdi Karakayalı, Sinasi Sevmiş and Sevgi Sahin for bringing me back to life. I had my latest kidney transplant on 2011 and right now I'm better than you can imagine. The reason why I'm telling you this, maybe I couldn't get proper education or couldn't attend to school like I should but this neither stopped me not delayed me from doing the job I've always dreamed off. We create our own opportunities. We create our own borders. I still have hard times. Times that I don't know what to do but when I'm telling you all these and being in a good health makes everything easier for me. Because I can strength to stand strong. On the other hand, right now I'm in USA and doing my dream job... If you told me that I would be "here" 5 years ago, I would laugh so hard and I wouldn't believe you. All my life everything I've endured looks like a dream now. But right now I'm here to do great things. I don't want to be known by my name but I want to create things known by its name. I know there'll be some very hard things I know. But I want to say this to everybody who reads this: I won't talk cliché such as be positive, think positive because I didn't think positive during the things I've experienced. I cried, I got angry and I couldn't accept. I sunk to the bottom. I've fallen many times and sometimes I didn't want to wake up. I was afraid to fall again. I never feel guilty for the things I've felt. If you want to cry, go cry out loud, nobody judges you when you laugh out loud on the street. Don't hesitate to cry on the street. Laughter is outpouring of happiness and crying is outpouring of sadness. Don't be the person you are forced to be. This will be a cliché but life is really short. I think we all agree on this. If you want to talk, meet or to write me.Lets meet, talk and take photos. I'm always here for you. Care about yourself because I care every one of you and your reason to live. I love you all one by one, you should love yourselves too.

A little note to my parents: I appreciate for believing and loving me so much. I love you so much.

Ocean Waverly

More info: Instagram