There is a saying ”there is nothing permanent except change.” And even if we think that there are some sacred things that just cannot change or should easily stand the test of time, they do change, usually causing us a lot of pain. One of these things that we think is there in our lives forever is our family. Despite thinking that family is something that makes us feel safe and secure, sometimes because of certain twists and turns, it tends to fall apart. Having this in mind, Reddit user @u/Affectionate_Kick521 decided to share the situation she found herself in that involved her parents and siblings. The story which received more than 12k upvotes soon started a discussion online about how parents should behave in situations like this and how kids shouldn’t be the ones telling their parents how to deal with difficult circumstances.
More Info: Reddit
Family relationships can be trickier to understand than they might seem
Image credits: woodleywonderworks (not the actual image)
The 16-year-old author of the post started her story by sharing that she lived with her mom, dad, and her brother until it was revealed that her dad was having an affair. After the news broke out, the man and his wife divorced and he went to live with and eventually marry the other woman, Kate. Together they had two kids: 11-year-old Ellie and 9-year-old Tommy. After a year, Kate died and this is when all the problems started.
Reddit user decided to share a situation that involved her parents and her dad's kids from his second marriage
Image credits: u/Affectionate_Kick521
The user revealed that her parents divorced after her dad had an affair with a woman he later married
Image credits: u/Affectionate_Kick521
It was shared that while the original poster’s (OP) parents shared custody over her and her brother, after the death of his second wife, her dad asked if his now ex-wife could “include” his two younger kids in her life. Of course, the woman didn’t want to do it and didn’t feel as if she had to because they served as a reminder to her of the affair that her husband had. The author of the post revealed that her mom never interacted with her ex-husband's kids too much anyway.
After his second wife died, the man was left with two kids who wanted to have a mother figure in their lives
Image credits: u/Affectionate_Kick521
As time went by, it was noticed by the Reddit user that her half-siblings craved motherly attention and got sad and jealous seeing their half-sister and half-brother spending time with their mom. The kids even expressed their wish to spend Christmas with the whole family, meaning their dad’s ex-wife, their dad, and half-siblings. OP shared that besides their dad and his family, they didn’t have anyone else as their mom’s family wasn’t interested in them and even cut all ties with Kate after they found out that she was the one to ruin someone else’s marriage.
OP's dad though it was good idea for his ex-wife to become that motherly figure to his kids
Image credits: Matt (not the actual image)
The 16-year-old shared that a few times a year, her dad or some family member from his side would ask her if she was okay with her mom not wanting to include his kids in their family gatherings. The teenager would then support her by saying that she thinks she’s not obligated to do so because they’re not her kids. Even when her dad tried to make his kids' “wish come true” by gathering everyone for Christmas, the woman still didn’t agree with this.
After many conversations, the woman told him that she wasn't interested in helping him raise those kids
Image credits: u/Affectionate_Kick521
This is when the man thought it was a smart idea to try and convince his older daughter to talk to her mom and change her mind
Image credits: u/Affectionate_Kick521
OP’s mom never gave an explanation as to why she didn’t want her ex-husbands’ kids around, but it’s quite understandable why she didn’t want to engage with them. Even he and his daughter Ellie tried to change her mind, but she didn’t budge, making the 11-year-old upset. Once again, her dad and his family tried to talk with the author of the post about the situation, but she then said that she doesn’t see why her mom should want these kids around when they don’t have a proper relationship. After they tried to change her mind, the 16-year-old said that her dad should have thought about this all before getting a mistress and having kids with her, to which he responded that she was unfair to him and doesn’t understand the situation. Now the teenager wants to know if she didn’t go too far by defending her mom and telling her dad the actual truth.
The 16-year-old didn't agree with her dad, so an argument ensued where she told him what she really thought about the whole situation
Image credits: u/Affectionate_Kick521
Many users online agreed with OP’s opinion and were glad that she stood up for her mom. They were quite appalled by her dad’s behavior, seeing some misogynistic traits in his actions. People were interested in her own and her brother’s relationship with their half-siblings and Kate when she was still alive, so the Reddit user revealed that her brother already cut contact with their half-siblings as he never wanted to be involved with them. And as for Kate, OP shared that she didn’t like her stepmother. What do you think about this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
Teen's words made her wonder whether she was right to defend her mom and tell her dad where he went wrong
Image credits: smalljude (not the actual image)
We’re used to hearing the evil stepparent stories, but does it always mean that you can’t have a strong and loving relationship with your stepchild? According to Raising Children Network, website dedicated to parenting, it is possible to maintain a healthy and harmonious relationship with your partner’s daughter or son. In order to succeed, it’s important to talk about this with your significant other as well as to try and get to know their kid by talking to them, spending some time together, this way getting to know them better and their certain boundaries. Rome wasn’t built in a day, so creating that special relationship with your stepson or stepdaughter might take a while; it’s important not to rush this.
Many users online agreed with the author of the post and were so interested in the story that the teen provided them with some more additional information
Image credits: u/Affectionate_Kick521
Exhausted by family or in-law drama like this one? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic relatives, parenting styles, and personal boundaries.