35 Teachers Reveal What They Want Their Students To Know But Don’t Have The Guts To Tell Them In Person

One day you're going to come across people who are not being paid to tolerate you, and all of a sudden life is going to become considerably more difficult

Yes, I put you in a group with the kid you have a crush on intentionally. I'm stuck here with you 180 days a year, I want to see some drama.

I knew you were cheating so I gave you a test with the answers in a different order for the rest of the semester. You clearly weren't very bright to figure it out, and yes I am that spiteful. It was easier than reporting the cheating.

Your parents are literally the worst part of my job.

When you think you are being genius by getting me to talk about random things at the beginning of class instead of "teaching", I'm really allowing it to happen b/c I don't have enough planned to cover a full class.

The weed smell doesn't magically disappear between the parking lot and my classroom

I can smell you. Everyone can. Please for the love of god, use deodorant.

To the people asking why I wouldn't say this to a student, the answer is twofold:

1. Puberty is a smelly ordeal, and a lot of the kids can't help it

2. Because god forbid it's not their fault (infection, a cultural thing, or improper washing of clothes), you don't want to alienate that student forever.

A few off the top of my head:

Just because I like you as a person doesn’t mean that I won’t fail you. Being smart isn’t a justification for being lazy and I can’t pass someone that never hands in work.

I moved you away from your friends because they were taking you down with them. You have a real future in sports but you need to pass my class to play them. Your friends were making you fail and, if you don’t get to play volleyball, I don’t know what kind of future you have in front of you.

I wish that the positivity that you get in my class could follow you home. I’ve met your parents and they are a nightmare. I do my best to encourage you here but I know that, some days, that just might not be enough.

I have never and will never find a student intimidating. That’s why I laughed at you when you asked me if I “knew who your father was”. Yeah, he’s the manager of a car dealership; that means nothing to nobody. I had a kid throw a desk at me and, while it scared me in the moment, it didn’t make me fear him. One day, you will meet someone who has real power and I just wish that I could be there to see it.

That we have much better hearing than you assume. We just choose our battles as it pertains to inappropriate comments. And sometimes I pretend not to see that thing you did just because I too found it humorous, and speaking to you about it would only result in me cracking up.

One of the most valuable lessons I can teach you is to fake looking busy.

If we're supposed to be working on an assignment or reading or whatever, and you see me coming your way... At the least have a piece of paper on your desk and a pen in your hand and some s**t on your paper, and then I won't bother you. If you have nothing going on and can't even be bothered to make it look like you're trying, I'm heading your way.

This lesson will be invaluable with eventual bosses someday.

I'm a bus driver. Sit the f**k down you will die if I crash.

I encourage my worst kids as much or more than my favorites because I don’t want them back in my class next year.

“If I didn’t think you would abuse the situation, I would really enjoy being more human and casual around you. I think you are a fun person to be around.”

If I know your name by the 3rd day of a new school year, that means you're probably an a*****e.

That my students are the reason why I am second-guessing having my own kids.

The odds of you using any specific piece of knowledge you learn in high school is slim. The odds of you using some piece of knowledge from high school is near absolute and you have no idea what it's going to be or when it will happen, so you may as well try at all of it. The biggest thing you're going to learn is how to learn.

Yes, I do have favorite students. No, I won't tell you who they are because that would discourage you, but yes they're probably who you imagine them to be.

I am no longer a teacher, but I remember several days that I felt lazy and wanted to give the class the day off. I never did because I knew the teacher's pet would rat me out. Sometimes even the teachers don't like the teacher's pet.

I actually teach middle school rather than high school, but I'll play:

I love them a whole bunch (I do actually tell them this, that's not the thing) but goddamn every single middle schooler is an a*****e. Like, even the best ones. They're all a*****s. You can't help it at that age. Part of the process of being a good middle school teacher is accepting the a**********s and figuring out ways to work with it. Don't worry, guys, your peers (and you) will stop being a******s soon. Most of you, anyway.

Also, all the things you think your parents and teachers don't know about? We do. We've done it all. We just would prefer not to think about you doing it because you're much too young.

If you are stupid enough to have filmed yourself doing something that can get you in trouble, especially legal trouble, for the love of God don't post it online.

I am not telling them this because plenty of them would see it as me approving of them misbehaving as long as they don't get caught.