“Could Probably Get Me Fired If Anyone Found Out”: 30 Teachers Spill Secrets Online

I occasionally pray for some students not to show up to give myself half of a chance that day. Legitimate prayers.

I tell all my students that they could all be top students if they tried. That's totally not true. But the reality is that this lie gets a few of them to actually try, and this causes them to perform better and learn better than if they actually knew the truth. Because learning is something like 80% effort and 20% genes. So I lie. And I'm glad that little Susie is getting a B in math instead of the F she would otherwise have gotten; but please don't take math in college.

How much I actually hate my job.

When I do not having someone look over my shoulder and critiquing my every action I love what I do because I'm good at it. Sadly those times are becoming few and far between as education becomes less about having students learn and more about having them walk away with a mark.

It is a system that is destroying the creative, enabling the lazy, and encouraging the mediocre to remain so.

There are days when I truly wonder if I would have been happier as a lawyer....then one of those selfish bastards succeeds at something they have been struggling with and sincerely thank me and I'm back at work the next day.

After meeting your parents, 90% of the time I think, "The apple didn't fall far from the tree." It's not necessarily good or bad, but you're probably more like your parents than you realize.

For helper tasks (taking lunch count, attendance to office, etc.), we choose badly behaved kids, not well behaved ones. Gives us a break from them, and gives them less time destroying things in the classroom.

rocketpunk:

I have a friend who was (and still is) a little adhd maniac, and her teachers would make her their "special helper" and have her run notes to other teachers several times a day. The notes just said, "pass it on", so they'd all just send her back and forth to keep her busy. It made her feel happy and special and she thought it was hilarious when she found out the truth years later.

That, unfortunately yes, more than half the things I teach you you will not use in real life. But we have to teach to the exam. Sorry.

...there are dumb questions.

Middle school Theatre teacher here. I work in a school of the arts, and everyone is so obnoxious on how talented they think they are.

On a near-daily basis, all anyone wants to do is improv. Except, everyone sucks at it. Like, badly. As in they'll stand there for a minute thinking of what to say.

Then they'll get down and be like "THAT WAS AWESOME!" Nobody really understands why I hate doing that with kids.

Most of what we say, are empty threats(calling parents,going to the principle, write ups). Either the administration won't do anything, we don't want to do the paper work, or we haven't done enough paperwork to get anything done.

I'm nervous about letting my students know anything about my political views. I also don't really want them to find out I'm bi. I work in a place where information spreads very quickly, and I wouldn't want to deal with parents upset that their students are being taught by someone who actually has political and sexual ideas, lol.

College professor here:

When I say, "I want to get some other people into the conversation", I'm not doing it to get varied class participation and make the class more student centered...I just want the kid who never shuts the f**k up to shut the f**k up.

Seriously kid, I get it, you have opinions. Try shoving some of them up your a*s and see how that feels. This isn't your one man show, and the stakes aren't that particularly high.

Soooooo many.. let me make a list. For reference, I teach 1st grade.
1) I definitely have favorites - I definitely don't dislike anyone, which is nice, but some stand out more than most.
2) I am softer on the dummies - Okay, dummies isn't a nice term, but I feel more compassion for the slower kids.
3) I do try to fix the books - By this I mean, I try to make it so that everyone wins at SOMETHING throughout the year so no one is sad.
4) I definitely care if they like me - If a kid says they don't like me, I totally try to play it cool and say I am here to teach, not to make friends. Secretly, I die a little inside and am usually thinking about it all week long.
5) I am bluffing about telling your parents - Usually tattling on your parents is a waste of time. Where do you think you got that attitude from? Its a total bluff.

That the kids of coaches, principals, and school board members *are* treated differently than the rest of you. Unfair, and I hate it, but it is true, at least at my school.

I grade drunk all the time.

lafleurcynique:

Yyyeeeeepppp. The only way to get through all the hours after work we spend working for no pay.

At the beginning of each course, I have to memorize a lot of names in a very short period of time. Usually I do this by making notes next to each name in my attendance list. Some of said notes could probably get me fired if anyone found out. Recent examples include "Asian pit stains" and "skinny Drew Carey."

If someone (or something) doesn't remind me that I assigned homework, I probably won't remember at least half of the time.

I absolutely have favorite students, and I also have students who make me praise the heavens that I never have to see them again when they leave class for the last time. If you don't make my life and job any harder than they have to be, I'm more likely to be lenient and helpful. The reverse is true, too.

I walk in unprepared and totally wing lessons *way* more often than my students know. There is about a 90% chance that whatever fun, creative grammar game we played any given week was actually pulled out of my a*s on the drive to work that morning.

That I am just as nervous on the first day of school as they are.

I keep track of which students to make sure I am never alone with for safety concerns. There really are students out there that you know are going to hurt people, badly, one day when they're older and bigger. I teach middle school and elementary school, and am very grateful that I don't teach high school.

Probably what a total f*****g mess I am sometimes. That I have so many issues and don't really feel like an adult. That I am probably under qualified to teach the specific subject that I teach. That I engage in a lot of activities that teachers are supposed to advise their students not to. That I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend.

It's not movie day, it's hangover day. So shut up and watch the movie while we sit quietly in the dark for the next hour.

There are horrible teachers at every school. The entire staff knows it and we feel bad for the kids and parents. Unfortunately, we can't straight out tell parents to avoid certain teachers.