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“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys

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Any job where you work with strangers every day has the potential to reward you with either the funniest or the most horrible experience of your life. Delivery drivers are no exception. Apparently, there are 1.4M delivery drivers in total in the U.S. It’s hard to say what percentage pizza delivery people make, but their adventures with customers can probably qualify as the most extreme.
At least it seems that way after scrolling through these stories. And the stories come from the  r/TalesFromThePizzaGuy subreddit. The community is a place for pizza delivery guys and gals to share their insane adventures on the job. As the description notes in a suitably punny fashion, it’s the one subreddit “where the OP always delivers.”

#1

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Let’s send the 19 year old girl to the high crime area, what could go wrong?
I delivered pizzas for a chain when I was 19. I didn’t have a cellphone at the time, but this event spurred me to get one. I was a day driver mostly, and I was working for probably a couple months at the time. I get a delivery for a street that apparently has a lot of crime. One of my managers instructed me to only carry $15 in change, and to call 911 if I needed to. I reminded him that I didn’t have a cellphone. He said “That’s okay, just scream 911!” So now that I was nervous, I set out for my destination. I get out, lock my car, and deliver the pizza with no problem. Breathe a sigh of relief, go to open my car and... I locked my keys in my car. Some of the neighbors were out playing basketball in the street, and saw me. One of them lent me a cell to call the shop. The one manager that could help me, had driven into work on his motorcycle, so he had to drive home, get his truck and tools. When he asked me where I was, his response was something like “c**p, there of all places?!” So yeah, instilling more confidence in me/s. But in actuality the people on the street were very kind. Various conversations ensued, like “How good is your insurance? We could just break a window.” And “Hey man, couldn’t you break into it for her?” “Naw man, it’s been years since I’ve broken into cars” . I didn’t want to pay for damages to my car, because I did not know what the insurance on the car was. So they just kept me company for the couple hours it took for my manager to arrive with tools to open my car. Drove back to the shop to clock out for the day. Any time I drove through that area after the incident, the locals waved at me. It’s one of my favorite memories from that time.
221points

#2

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
A small kid (7-8 years old) answered the door
Usually, when kids answer the door for pizza it sucks because their parents don’t tell them to tip or how to tip on a receipt. Well a little boy answered the door for a delivery I took the other day, he was really young, like 7 or 8. Had on a bright red shirt with a dinosaur and everything. He proceeds to hand me an extra five and says “Keep the change” and when I say thank you he waves it off. I hand him his pizzas and he inhales like he’s smelling them and says “This is going to be great after the day I had.”

TLDR: I think I delivered pizza to a 2nd grader with a stressful job and a mortgage.
209points

#3

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
We get a call saying been an hour and the pizza hasn't arrived
So I'm working as the pizza maker at a tiny independent pizza shop in New Orleans and the delivery driver is a 6'6" Lithuanian basket ball player who's supposed to be on a basketball scholarship but he has some troubles with the NCAA over a few exhibition games he may have gotten paid for so he's delivering pizza in a clapped out ghetto sled instead of going to college. We send him out on a run for three nearby deliveries and after about 30 minutes of him being out the customer from the third house call to complain that their pizza hasn't arrived yet. So I call the first house and they're like pizza came just fine. I call the second house and they say their pizza just arrived, so I figure he's had car problems and I'll go find him. So I drive over to the second house and follow the logical route toward the third and as I'm almost there I see this giant man running at a dead sprint down the middle of the road with the pizza bag held up over his shoulder like a waiter. I pulled up beside him and without stopping he yelled "must deliver pizza," turned the corner and ran up to the customer's house. When he got done I found out that his car had failed to start at the first house and he decided to run about 3 miles with several pizzas rather than screw around looking for a phone. Best delivery driver we ever had by far.
175points

#4

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Kid tries to give me $100 for a Personal Pizza
So, first post on here. I've been delivering for about 3 weeks now, and tips are either really bad, or pretty good. I go to the door and a kid answers, his mom is in the back. I tell him his total and I'm pretty sure he was just happy to pay for something because without hesitation, he hands me a $100 bill, claps, and runs to his mom to tell her he payed and runs back. I don't notice it is $100 and thought it was $10 so i walk back to my car, and see the bill he gave me has that blue line and gold 100 on it. At that point I got really happy, but realized that I felt guilty if I left. I go back and the mom answers and looks really confused. I show her the bill and said the little boy gave it to me. She called his name and he said he got it from her purse. She told me she was so glad that I gave it back and that it was supposed to be for their groceries that week. In the end I got a $3 tip, but at that point I didn't mind since I just saved a family from going hungry for a couple days.
166points

#5

RIP to One of the Best Customers I've Had in a While
While I never had the chance to delivery your food to you at your home, you did come into the Pizzeria weekly (sometimes every other day). Everytime you'd come in, you'd ask how Black Betty Boop is running (I named my SUV Black Betty - yes I'm aware it's a song lol). You always asked about how I was doing. How my SUV was running. You even took the time out of your day, to go through your SUV (we had the same SUV until he upgraded and got a new car), and pull all the fuses and relays to give to me for Christmas, knowing I may need them. Well I definitely needed them, a few days after your gift, my high beams stopped working due to a relay.... lol..

You'd ask my suggestion for food and tell me you want a big blue Pepsi to drink on the side, knowing we only served Coke products. You'd bring in your own can of Pepsi and even just fill it with Coke for the s**ts and giggles. So today, I had the kitchen make me a cheesesteak with mozzarella cheese instead of american, just like you once asked me what to eat.

I'm gonna miss the times when you'd come to the counter to pay, and as I go to grab your money, you'd pull it away quickly, teasing me practically. You always were a jokester. I'll miss the folded up triangle bills that you would hide in my tip cup when I wasn't looking. Everytime you came around, you always brought a smile to my face, to all of our faces here. You were humorous, and caring, and so so generous to everyone.

So to one of the best customers I've had, Bill, I wish you peace and bliss in your afterlife. We will miss you. We couldn't believe the news when we were told. We had just seen you on Thursday before.

Rest in Peace, my friend.
141points

#6

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Hug from cute little girl because I delivered her pizza
It was a 7 mile delivery, order was $37.36, gave me a $2.64 tip. Gave the dad the food of 4 boxes. His hands were full so he asked his 3 year old daughter who was with him to close the door. He walks away and I stay to make sure she can close the door. But she runs out to me and yells in her little squeaking voice, "I don't forget to hug you!," hugs me, then runs back inside, closes the door and screams "pizza!". That made up for the small $2.64 tip.
136points

#7

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Huge big stoner teddy bear
I do pizza delivery as my second job. I live in Australia. And, well, I work here too. 40 year old male. Just giving context.

So this happened last year some time.

I get a delivery for a place I haven't been to before. I get there, and knock on the door. A huge hairy bearded mother f**ker opened the door. I could smell the pot smoke as soon as he opened the door. (Which is not at all unusual.) When he saw that I had pizza, the grin that spread across his face, well, it was infectious.

"Guys. Pizzas here." he called.

He took the pizzas. He paid. He then asked if I had any menus. "Sorry man. But if I'm coming back past this way I'll drop one in."

"No stress dude. All good."

I don't end up going past there that night. But the following week I get a delivery on the same road. So I make sure to grab a menu. I call in there on my way back to the shop and knock on the door.

After a moment the door opens a crack and he peers out. "Ahh, I delivered pizza here last week and I have a menu."

That grin again.

He opened the door and called "Hey guys. It's the guy who delivered our pizzas last week. And he's got a menu." As far as he was concerned, I was the greatest guy in the world. He said if I ever needed any weed to let him know.

A couple of hours later I was delivering to another place and the instructions were to go to the shed out the back. I knock on the shed door and open it. There's some guys sitting around a table playing poker including my new friend.

"HEY." he says. "It's my pizza dude." He then gets up and gives me a huge hug. I had no choice. I had to hug him back. And it was good. He then proceeds to tell the rest of the guys how awesome I was for remembering to bring him a menu. They just smiled and nodded as if they were thinking "Man. He's so f**king stoned."

Anyway. That made my night. I've delivered to him a few other times. And he is always cool and friendly.

I've got other stories that I'll share over time.
124points

#8

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Delivered To A Dead Guy
I've been delivering pizza for over 20 years for the same Pizza chain. About 17 years ago I was delivering to a regular. He ordered every week a medium all meat pizza. He was always waiting for me on the steps when I got put of my car.

I got to his house and he's not waiting for me. I see his front doors open so I know he's home. I tried to find him in his yard because I hate redelivering. Then I decided to see if I could see through his picture window if he was maybe asleep on his couch. Sure enough I see him on the couch. Then I noticed he's not breathing.

I ran to the door and opened the screen and went inside and watched his chest to see if he was breathing. He wasn't. I grabbed his house phone that was on the coffee table and called 911. I had a Nokia cell phone but I was panicking and didn't think about it.

I waited for the cops to show up. I stayed on the line with 911 until they got there. I knew they would want to talk to me so I stayed around. The phone rang in my hand I thought it might be the cops or somebody else so I answered. Turned out it was the dead guy's brother I didn't tell him his brother was dead I just said he should come now.

I stayed around for probably about 2 hours talking to the cops telling them what happened talking to the brother when he came talking to his girlfriend and a grief counselor that was riding along with the paramedics.

When I called my manager and told her slightly hysterically that my customer was dead her reaction was to say "do you have any more pizzas that need to be delivered?" Typical for her she had no people skills. She didn't even bother to ask me if I was okay.

Before I left the dead guy's house the brothers girlfriend gave me $50 in appreciation of me calling 911 and not just leaving I burst into tears. I almost quit that night. I never want to go through that again.
122points

#9

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
I got to hold a 5week old kitten on my last delivery last night.
I took the call for these people and it took all the patience I had for it. They were crammed in the back of an Uber (yay for not drunk driving, tho!) and all yelling over each other. Finally the guy on the phone told them to shut up or they're not getting food and was able to place the order with me lol

Tips weren't predictable last night- so I was just like... I'm getting mileage and this is my last run, wasn't expecting any tip cause they were trashed. Girl writes $20 in the tip line and gives me the receipt "i can't do math for the total sorry" and tells her friend to bring me her cat.

I'm like... why is she telling him to bring me a cat?! Then this tiny little black and white kitten with the cutest meow got put on my shoulder and I've never smiled so much in my life. I def hung around there for another few minutes and it legit made my whole year.

TLDR; got a $20 tip, but holding a 5week old kitten was really the best tip I've gotten at this job haha
111points

#10

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Anyone ever have to call social services?
So I've been a pizza guy for the past five or so years. I've called 911 a few times, drunk drivers mostly. I've called the non-emergency line dozens of times (dead deer on the road, fights happening, car accidents, downed poles, etc).

But this year alone I've been in two situations where I've called social services, something I've never done.

The first was a family I delivered to (new customers) in a rough area of town. The guy was screaming at his family before I even knocked on the door. When I finally did, the screams went SILENT. Dude answers the door, his small (3, maybe 4 y.o.) daughter behind him. The transaction goes normally but the daughter gets excited and steps forward to wave at me. "GET THE **K BACK!" He screamed at her, she f**king flinched like a car was about to hit her. The mom then comes out from the back room and grabs her quickly, whisks her daughter away from the dad. That's when I notice the mom was covered in bruises and her body language suggested she was terrified of the dude. She wouldn't look at him, kept her head low. I was disgusted. And maybe I was looking in to this crookedly, but I didn't want to take the chance. I called my local domestic abuse hotline.

Fast forward to this week.. I have a regular customer who is a mentally handicapped lady and her guardian (I assume mother). every time I go there, the house gets messier and messier and messier. Three weeks ago she answered the door in a dirty night gown with a giant reddish-brown blood stain 6"x6" on the crotch... on the crotch. I was disgusted. Yesterday, I delivered there and noticed the previous weeks delivery boxes still stacked on the front coffee table. Weeks old, and the pile just kept growing. While the handicapped girl went to get her mom to sign for the pizza (she's never tipped me once, 0/50 or so deliveries), I snapped a picture of the gross house. So I called social services, told her that the lady seems happy, but her guardian is forcing her to live in squalor. She doesn't have the means to move out, and who knows if she has the functional ability to take it upon herself to clean the house. Basically she's being forced to live in squalor.

And just 10 minutes ago, social services called me back and thanked me for the report. They told me they already have a pending investigation open in which the state is trying to obtain guardianship of the girl. My report is just one more big piece of evidence they'll use in court. I don't regret a thing, I hope she gets the help she needs.
109points

#11

Best tip ever
This was from 1985, in a mid-sized American university city. Pizza employee wages then were comparable to other fast food restaurants, tips were not as big a factor as they are now. Almost everyone tipped a dollar or so (about $2 and change in 2019 money).

I got a delivery to a house on the less affluent side of our delivery area. I was met at the door by four children, I guessed the ages 10 on down. All beaming with anticipation of all the pizza goodness I was bringing. They paid with exact change and thanked me politely. No tip, not a big deal and four happy kids.

As fate would have it, I delivered to their house every time they ordered. I was greeted with, "Hey, it's you!" Same four kids, never saw the parents. Always paid in exact change. It quickly became clear to me that pizza was a treat for them and something they had to scrimp to afford.

Just before Christmas, just before I left the pizza job to work in my field of study, I delivered to their home one last time. They met met me at the door as usual. After paying, the oldest child said, "Wait a minute." She came back with a 50 cent tip. "This is for you." Knowing that the family had to scrape enough for a pizza treat every couple of weeks, this was the best tip ever.
101points

#12

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Little girl drops her mums' pizza
So I've been delivering close to a year now, had no hiccups so far until this happened.

Got a delivery to a familiar house, nice and easy drive. Got to the door and heard the mum yell out "I'll be just a minute". Anyway, I'm greeted to the face of a 6-7-year-old when the door opens, no mum in sight. Now I don't really care about kids answering the door in regards to tips, as in Australia we don't have a tipping culture and don't rely on tips. I tell the little girl it was $18 all up, and she looks at me puzzled and hands a $50 saying "Is this enough?". Of course, I'm not going to steal from a little kid, so I carefully count back her change to the exact cent.

I think it' going smoothly. How wrong was I.

I attempt to give her the pizza, she is obviously struggling to hold the box. I hesitate and say "I think it would be best if you got your mum to carry it just in case", however, she shakes her head and said her mum said she had to carry it back.

This pissed me off a bit, I don't want to be blamed if she drops the pizza. The little girl gets a good grip of the pizza and walks down the hallway as I'm closing the door. Just as I was about to close the door, the little girl drops the pizza, topping side down, all over the floor.

At this point, I've shut the door fully and can see a bit of the action through the glass pane next to the door. The little kid is trying to scrape all the toppings into the box, and failing horrendously. I'm in an awkward position as I'm just standing there at the door, helpless. I wait there for another good 2-3 minutes waiting at the door to see if her mum came to rectify the situation with me. I was prepared to talk it over with her and see if she wanted a new one, however, all I could hear was the mum scolding her daughter about the mess she made.

At that point, I was pretty pissed off. The little girl must have felt so embarrassed about the situation. The mum didn't have the decency to help her struggling kid with the pizza. As I went to my car which was a good 20 meters away, I could still hear the mum yelling.

I got back to the store and told my manager what happened just to cover my a*s if the mum rang up and tried to blame anything on me. Fortunately, we didn't hear from her. Throughout the whole shift, I felt awful about the situation and felt sorry for the girl.

At the end of our shift, we get to make and take home a pizza for free. I decided to make the same pizza as the one that the little girl dropped and drop it off on my way home to their house. This wasn't because I felt bad for the mum who probably had to cook her own dinner, but I felt as if it would take the stress off the little girl. So I went back to their house, pizza in hand and some ice-cream for the kid.

I explain to the mum that I saw what happened and decided to tell her how little kids shouldn't answer the door, as money can be easily taken/ food easily dropped. I say that in the future she should at least watch her child when answering the doors for deliveries at the very least. She ended up apologising profusely and thanking me for my troubles.

The mum has answered the door ever since.
94points

#13

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Had to request a welfare check this morning
We have a regular customer who I had to request a welfare check on this morning. She is the sweetest old lady that we deliver to. Maybe 75-80 years old. She never tips well but no one cares. She's in a wheelchair and has the cutest little Corgi named Frazier. She always tells us about her great grandchildren and how well they are doing. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say her name this site. So for privacy I'll call her Sarah. She orders Pizza three or four times a week, always the same thing.

This is the first time she has not answered the door in the two years that I have been there. I called her twice, no answer, and even walked in the front door to see if she was there. I didn't want to go wandering around her house though so I just went back out the front door closed it and called dispatch.

I hope she's all right. But all I can imagine is her somewhere in her house having fallen down and not been able to get back up.

Edit: I called three and a half hours ago for the check. Haven't heard anything yet. Not sure if that's a good or bad sign.

Edit: I just wanted to say that no matter how alone you feel in this world there will always be someone who cares about you. It may even be a total stranger. I've been worried about Sarah all day and I don't even know her last name.

Update: Nearly 6hrs sense the call. I'm going to swing by her house after I get off work to make sure. Maybe the cops just forgot to call me.

Update: I went to her house and all of her family was there. Between the time she placed the order and I got to her door she had a heart attack and had to be rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately she did not make it. RIP
93points

#14

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Delivered 150 pizzas to Bungie
I deliver pizzas in Bellevue and Bungie was having some huge party for their employees. They ordered 150 pizzas and 3 other drivers and I delivered them in waves. Well, on the last wave the guy who signed for the pizzas asked to wait for a sec while he grabbed something. He came back with a cart of FOUR Destiny 2 collectors editions. One for each of the drivers. Also tipped $500. Easily the best tip I’ve ever gotten. Just had to share!
81points

#15

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Kid tried to tip me $34 and I didn't let him.
So today I took a really funny order. At first I thought it was a prank order, the delivery remarks said: "I want my pizza BONELESS!" When I get to the door a good humored looking 15 year old answers and I say "sorry all of our pizzas have bones, it turns out that the Better Ingredients were people all along."

He laughs, I read him his order and his total ($26.30) and he hands me the money and I hand him the pizza and ask if he needs any change and he flippantly waves and says "no it's a tip, keep it"

When I'm walking away I realize the kid gave me sixty f**king dollars.

Since the kids parents are home and I don't want him to get in trouble I turn around and knock again and an older guy (dad) answers.

"Hey, normally I would never turn down a tip but he gave me at least twice what the pizza cost." Holding up the 3 $20s I told him I couldn't in good conscience take a 120% tip without questioning if it was an accident.

He took back one if the $20s and was basically in awe that I was so honest. He asked my name, shook my hand, and gave me an extra $5 making the final tip $19 plus a customer for life.
76points

#16

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
I saved a newborn's life last summer with a pizza jacket.

I'm a delivery driver for a small carryout/delivery place in a suburb of Seattle. Our area is really weird, because although our radius is 5 miles, we have all types of neighborhoods: section 8 housing to multi-million dollar homes, urban to rural, etc. It's a fast growing area so it's a total mixed bag.

Last summer I had a delivery to an upper-middle class area of my town. Regular customer, a guy who ordered from us every week while his wife was pregnant with their first kid. Same order every time, 2 large pizzas.

Their house is new and pretty nice, but they live on a hill so the platform outside their front door is a 5 foot drop down onto their front yard, which is also concrete.

I go to deliver their pizza and the wife opens the door with a newborn no older than a week or two sitting on her arm resting against her chest. She's clearly exhausted, and her husband is coming home from work, so he isn't home to help her out. Her hands are full so I offer to set her pizzas down somewhere for her, but she insists that she can take them.

I hand her the food and while she's focused on balancing the boxes on her hand, I see her baby lean backwards and start to fall out of her arm. I reach to catch him and he slips into my f**king bag feet first and lands perfectly inside of it, completely unhurt but crying. She drops the pizza and grabs him out of the bag and we just silently stare at each other for a few moments in shock. She hands me the money she owes me and says "thank you" in a shaky voice and closes the door.

I'm not sure if we have delivered there again since that incident, but it shook me pretty bad to the point where I sat in my car and cried for a minute or two just out of sheer shock and speculation out of what would've happened if I wasn't able to catch him.
73points

#17

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
I got some nice revenge on a s**tty customer who never tips.
TLDR: Customer who never tips wants me to pay for part of his pizza. I get revenge by letting it get cold in a blizzard while he searches for 10¢.

Greg. F**king Greg. So I work at pizza slut as a delivery driver and we have this one customer that everyone hates to go to because he always pays is exact change. No tip. Ever. If the driver dosen't have the change he wants he will call the store and demand the driver brings him back his 50¢. He has done this multiple times.

let me also mention that Greg is very well off. He lives in a half million dollar house and drives a $50,000 truck.

This happened during a blizzard. Of course. And Greg orders a pizza. Nothing special but his total was $15.11 and I draw the short straw and have to take it to him. There is about 3 inches or so of snow and still snowing.

I get to his house and ring the bell. At this point I take his pizza out of the insulated bag. I want it cold but everything turned out so much better than I had anticipated

He takes forever to get to the door. When he finally gets there he hands me $13 in cash and a handful of change. In the process he drops a dime. I count everything up and I have $15.01. 10¢ short.

At first he asks if I can just cover it for him. I say "no I am not going to pay 10¢ out of my pocket for your pizza". If it were any other customer I probably bwould have. It's only 10¢. But not for Greg. He starts blaming me for dropping it. (He dropped it). Again I say no and that he will have to find the dime or get another.

At this point the pizza is already getting cold. It was well below freezing out there.

He starts kicking around the snow on his porch looking for the dime. I spotted the dime right away but kept quiet. All the while he is muttering about how I dropped it and I should pay for it. I'm trying my best to hide my s**t eating grin.

About 3-5 min later I'm starting to get cold and the pizza might as well have just came out of the fridge. I tell him I am timed on these orders (I am) and that he should go inside and get money. He, of course claims, he has no more money and starts his sob story about him not having money. So I give him back his money and leave. I told him that if he finds his dime to just call the store and we will bring him his pizza.

I know he has money so I just pull around the corner and call the store to tell my manager what happened. During the call Greg calls the store saying he has his money.

I get back to the house, pull the pizza out again, and go back to his door. He hands me all the money and I make sure to count it, slowly. It's all there. I ask him if he found it in the snow and he said "no, I just got it from the house".

Not the most dramatic story but I was happy. He got cold pizza and I got payed. He hasn't ordered since. F**king Greg.
73points

#18

“I Can’t Believe This Really Happened”: 35 Of The Wildest Stories From Pizza Delivery Guys
Pizza too fast?
Just heard yesterday that a customer I delivered to on Friday called to complain that his pizza was "too hot to eat" after I delivered it to him. My boss said it dumbstruck him momentarily, since the guy seemed to be sincere about it. He repeated the complaint back to the guy, then told him that his complaint would be a perfect quote to use for advertising.

Anyone ever hear some feedback like that after doing your job too well?
71points

#19

How big is the personal pizza
I happen to be up at the counter doing some stuff, when a lady comes in. She is looking at the menu board, then asks "how big is the personal pizza?"

Without even thinking, I snap off "Any size pizza can be a personal pizza ma'am. You just have to believe in yourself."

I don't think that she was amused, but the people behind her were cracking up.
65points

#20

Your guard dog has a weakness.
The only thing better than a 5$ tip on a short drive, is petting a friendly animal while I'm out. Usually cats and dogs, but I've had odd luck with horses too. One night I was off in a rich ranch type area. I pull into the open gate and while I'm grabbing my bag, I hear a loud "AWOO!" And I see this bloodhound barreling towards me. He stops dead about a foot away and immediately starts wagging his tail and trying to get me to pet him. He's licking my hand and following me to the door. The owner opens the door and looks mortified. She goes "Oh my god I'm so sorry I forgot to lock him up! He's a guard dog, he's really well trained." She made a huge fuss thinking he was going to hurt me or something while I'm petting him and he's just happy as anything. I told her "I think your guard dog has a little weakness. He likes me because I smell like pizza." I ended up getting a pretty good tip, it was a good night.
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65points
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